Older/Mature Littles/Middles

[Baby Manda]

Cebakes, thanks for the reply with questions.  It made me focus my thoughts better. To answer some of those questions, we've only known each other since April and it was primarily through work, which is his primary job and a second job for me.  He's never been a daddy, but when I mentioned being interested, he said he would try.  I've been online researching and reading forums like this one,  but he never seems to have time to spend on anything. He really is a private person he says and I think he's ok with being a daddy in private only.  His job really is stressful right now,  has been that way for awhile and will be for the next 6 months at least. He has expressed on numerous occasions that he "it isn't like I'm your boyfriend or really your anything,  so I have no say over what you do." It was when I ask his opinion on an outfit or hair style. 

 

As far as the self-doubt goes, I had some big family stuff happen this winter and I'm getting help with it. Normally, I don't struggle with the self-doubt much other than when people say something about my double braids, my flower or butterfly clips in my hair and my desire to wear cute skirts and dresses as much as possible. So I think the doubt is really more about little space. I do talk to my daddy about it and he encourages me to be true to who I am, but it's tough when I don't see him or hear his voice regularly.  

 

I want to be understanding,  but I want to get my needs met. I'm just not sure what little space looks like for me and my daddy. Do I make a list of what I need in little space and take it to my daddy for a conversation?

[Cebakes]

9 hours ago, Baby Girl Miss Amanda said:

Cebakes, thanks for the reply with questions.  It made me focus my thoughts better. To answer some of those questions, we've only known each other since April and it was primarily through work, which is his primary job and a second job for me.  He's never been a daddy, but when I mentioned being interested, he said he would try.  I've been online researching and reading forums like this one,  but he never seems to have time to spend on anything. He really is a private person he says and I think he's ok with being a daddy in private only.  His job really is stressful right now,  has been that way for awhile and will be for the next 6 months at least. He has expressed on numerous occasions that he "it isn't like I'm your boyfriend or really your anything,  so I have no say over what you do." It was when I ask his opinion on an outfit or hair style. 

 

As far as the self-doubt goes, I had some big family stuff happen this winter and I'm getting help with it. Normally, I don't struggle with the self-doubt much other than when people say something about my double braids, my flower or butterfly clips in my hair and my desire to wear cute skirts and dresses as much as possible. So I think the doubt is really more about little space. I do talk to my daddy about it and he encourages me to be true to who I am, but it's tough when I don't see him or hear his voice regularly.  

 

I want to be understanding,  but I want to get my needs met. I'm just not sure what little space looks like for me and my daddy. Do I make a list of what I need in little space and take it to my daddy for a conversation?

First, and most importantly, you are are in a position to be selective.  You really need to have that mentality and not settle for anything less than you desire.

As far what little space looks like,  you two will need to determine that, but I think you guys need to determine if this relationship is right for the two of you.  He seems very, very busy, isnt interested in trying to grow as a daddy by reading available information on the Internet, and brings up adding a third to the relationship, when you guys are so new in yours.  Why does he want a sister for you? He’s really not taking care of your needs, how would he ever take care of an additional persons needs?

[Baby Manda]

How am I in a position to be selective? I didn't know this was something I could find within 100 miles of my home until it happened and letting it go means being a baby girl on her own again! Which I guess isn't horrible,  but it is a bit lonely.  

Feeling overwhelmed about talking to him is probably a sign that it needs to happen sooner rather than later, too. I do worry about hurting him, but it could be setting him free if he really has different goals. I really want to be a babygirl and explore that in a relationship.  

[Cebakes]

5 hours ago, Baby Girl Miss Amanda said:

How am I in a position to be selective? I didn't know this was something I could find within 100 miles of my home until it happened and letting it go means being a baby girl on her own again! Which I guess isn't horrible,  but it is a bit lonely.  

Feeling overwhelmed about talking to him is probably a sign that it needs to happen sooner rather than later, too. I do worry about hurting him, but it could be setting him free if he really has different goals. I really want to be a babygirl and explore that in a relationship.  
 

 

I know it sucks being alone and not having a daddy or a partner, but you never want to settle for less than you deserve.  If you are not selective, you will fall into a pattern of daddies who act like the one you are currently with.  As far as hurting him, he made it clear that you were not dating and, I don’t want to bash him,  it sounds like he’s  not being much of a daddy.

What sites have you used to look for daddies?

[Baby Manda]

I haven't tried looking for a daddy, yet. I have just been watching what others post. I don't want to get in over my head (this isn't my first mismatched relationship, sadly). I'm not sure how to begin a search, what sites are most trust worthy, and what is considered appropriate to expect. 

[Baby Manda]

I talked to my daddy... he said he's into the role play idea, but nothing more. He finds it annoying to make rules for people.  I expressed my feelings and gave examples and he said he was a private person who knew who he was then he just got quiet and changed the subject. Later in the conversation he said "one thing I have never understood is  littles wearing diapers..." he didn't know I was wearing one while  we were talking on the phone!!!  😢😔 Diapers are something I haven't been brave enough to share with him yet! Now I'm glad I didn't, but Wow! We are on different pages for this! I feel very sad right now, but also affirmed in my choice to move on and start really looking for someone else. Any suggestions as to next steps? How do you know what to look for in a daddy?  How do you know what you may need as a little?

[Cebakes]

18 hours ago, Baby Girl Miss Amanda said:

I talked to my daddy... he said he's into the role play idea, but nothing more. He finds it annoying to make rules for people.  I expressed my feelings and gave examples and he said he was a private person who knew who he was then he just got quiet and changed the subject. Later in the conversation he said "one thing I have never understood is  littles wearing diapers..." he didn't know I was wearing one while  we were talking on the phone!!!  😢😔 Diapers are something I haven't been brave enough to share with him yet! Now I'm glad I didn't, but Wow! We are on different pages for this! I feel very sad right now, but also affirmed in my choice to move on and start really looking for someone else. Any suggestions as to next steps? How do you know what to look for in a daddy?  How do you know what you may need as a little?

It’s good that you spoke to him about this.   It’s not overly surprising what he had to say, and his lack of interest in being a real daddy.  I don’t fault him, it’s not for everyone.

I would recommend continuing to read this site and gain insight on DDLG relationships and daddies.  It would probably be a good idea to sit down with pen and paper, and really think about what you are looking for in a daddy.  
 

As far as sites for DDLG personals, this is the best place to start, and then after that, there are several that I use, but you really need to be on your toes. Lots of scammers, married men, time wasters, and perverts out there.  
 

I like FEELD.  It’s very user-friendly, and good if you live near a large metro area.  Larger areas have more local members. Fet Life has lots of members but it’s like swimming in the ocean, but you need to be wary of sharks.  There are a decent amount of DDLG folks there.   Same goes for Adultfriendfinder. 

Unfortunately, this is a very niche kink or lifestyle, and there are not a tremendous amount of options to find partners. You just need to be patient and selective. 

Edited July 17, 2023 by Cebakes

[Guest mortyyy]

Hi everyone, 

I identify as a middle/princess/Brat and I just recently discovered kink and ddlg in general. 

I just turned 30 and i actually think i wouldn't have been emotionally ready to enter this world at a younger point in time. 

It is frustrating because this is a specific kink, but i also feel good that I actually know what i want and what makes me feel happy and content in a relationship, because my past vanilla relationships weren't it. 

I believe there is a daddy/mommy and little out there for everyone. I don't believe it's going to be easy to find them, but it's definitely possible, no matter your age. 

I am already fan of this forum and i think it will be a great place to support each other and make friends. 🙂

Take care xXx

 

Edited July 17, 2023 by peppper

[Redneck-Kitty]

Hey guys, gals and NB peeps!! Life has been super crazy for lately but it's finally starting to calm down. I really wanna get my club up and running. Come check 

 

[Guest Little Princess KittenRose]

On 7/15/2023 at 1:17 PM, Baby Girl Miss Amanda said:

I've been reading through messages here and realize I'm not as alone as I feel. I have a little different problem that I'm not sure how to handle. I've had to to be really independent my adult life and have been a single mom most of 19 years now.  I tried being married and my ex husband hated my little tendency and behaviors. Our relationship got difficult and I left 7 yrs ago. I'm finally fully re-embracing my little self. I recently met a co-worker at a temporary part time job who had some experience  being a Dom before. When I mentioned I was interested in having a Daddy and being a Baby Girl he said he would try... as friends. However, he was just getting out of a dating relationship and we are both single parents with teenagers going to college in the fall.  We both work a lot and I have a 10 year old, too. We have hardly any time to see each other. IRL 8 times, including talking after work and a few phone calls since April. I quit the part time job the beginning of July and haven't seen him at all in 2 weeks. We've only talked on the phone 2 times. I send messages daily on snap and text, but he doesn't always respond. I understand he's busy and I don't want to burden him, but I really am at a place where I want a Daddy! I asked for some rules, even a bedtime. He doesn't follow through with a consequence when I break a rule. Sometimes he texts big letters at me but if he's not enforcing the rules, I feel kinda lost. I also feel like my little age really is more of a Baby Girl 2 - 4 maybe younger sometimes, but I don't know how to talk about it with him. When I asked him what he thought my little age was he said tween or maybe 7 - 8 year old. My own children tell people I'm 4 and 3 (not 43 my actual physical age) because of how I act and talk and dress and eat and the movies I watch and everything!!! I've started exploring on my own with pacifiers, sippy cups, little plates and silverware (all of which he encourages), but also onsies, diapers at night and bottles that I just can't tell him because I'm afraid he won't like it. When i asked him about bottles he said he didn't know what he thought because he had never tried it. I also had a night when my kids were gone overnight and he was planning on coming over, but he wants me to have a little sister and I'm struggling with DD/lg being new to me and the little sister is a big stretch.  The friend I invited said no and so he didn't come over either. I had my bunny , my bunny ears on and my cute little dress on waiting for him and he took a nap! He did call and talk several times during the day and evening, but never came over.  I feel like it's over and that it's ok to move on to someone else. My feelings and my needs are valid and important too. But I also worry that I may be running away from something that could be good. If he really is just super busy right now, I need to be patient and wait for him. Daddies and little girls are few and far between in my part of the country (we're in a super conservative and rural area). I may be alone for another 7 years if I let this go, or I may make us both super miserable by ending something that could be great! How do I begin to make this decision and communicate my needs to my Daddy?

Also, is it normal to be this full of self-doubt all the time when you're a little? It's so much easier for me to just let someone else tell me what to do and then I do it! When I don't do it correctly or forget something,  I just feel better when I can apologize AND have some sort of consequence (write a note, take a time-out, correct my mistake). 

Thanks for your help!

Amanda, I'm in the same boat as you. I met a Daddy on here. At first, he was very involved, but now it's like he is way too busy or something to even text. Yesterday is the first day I woke up without him saying good morning to me. Now today it's the afternoon and he still hasn't reached out. I have told him he has changed, but he doesn't believe he has. He started feeling distant after I told him about my brother who had a lot to say. He has set rules, but he doesn't enforce them. We haven't even talked about limits. I have voice my feelings about him, but like I said he doesn't think anything has changed. I don't know what to do either. I have a hard time getting to little space, but before my brother got involved he was making me feel little. Now she is hiding again. If you you don't mind I would like to be friends and if you get any good advice for this please let me know. I'm really would like to be friends if it is ok with you.

[Baby Manda]

Kitten! I would loooooooovvvve to be friends!! I'm not sure how to do that on here??? Help please! And please call me BabyGirl or BabyGirlAmanda if there's more than one baby girl in the room. It helps me stay in little space.🙂 I'm finding my little age much younger as time goes by, even if I need to be grown-up in my everyday life. I think finding people to be friends and support you is very important, too.

I really liked the advice of being selective when choosing a daddy that someone posted to me (I'm not sure how to share that either,  but if you scroll up you can see it). I've been really thinking about who I am as a big person, as a little and what that really means to me. What's important to me when in a relationship? Or what kind of relationship do I want and am I ready for at this point in my life?Then looking at what I want from a daddy. There were some really good sites listed and I've had some really interesting experiences the past couple weeks, personally  that have been eye opening. Talk to your daddy about your feelings and both of your expectations for the relationship. See where that leads. It's really scary to talk about with him, but it helped me so much! I was able to better see what I need and who I am as a little.  Plus,  after the conversation I made myself a bottle, changed my diaper, put on my CareBears onesie and took a nap with my stuffy and paci. I can be a BabyGirl without a Daddy, too. It is ok to be me!

Lots a love ❤️ 

BabyGirl 

[BrassyBabyGirl]

On 7/15/2023 at 10:17 AM, Baby Girl Miss Amanda said:

 

Also, is it normal to be this full of self-doubt all the time when you're a little? It's so much easier for me to just let someone else tell me what to do and then I do it! When I don't do it correctly or forget something,  I just feel better when I can apologize AND have some sort of consequence (write a note, take a time-out, correct my mistake). 

Thanks for your help!

That was a lot to unpack. If I jump over something it is because I do not feel equipped to give input on it. I did want to say I feel you. I was in a similar situation. I left a marriage where I was shamed for being a little. I want to say disclose to this new friend or any new Papas what you feel comfy with but if you want it to be genuine and real do not hide who you are. You wanna wear pampamps? Ask him to pick you some up lol. He can give input but only you know how little or big you are. I am all babygurl gungho but please know I know the doubt and fear of being shamed all over again. It has even happened to me but I am glad I put it all on the table and could move on before I got too invested.

You deserve to not only be you 100% but to explore who you are and want to be with no shame. I have spent time as a little alone for years. I got an app called obedience. I set my goals, rewards and punishments. It is so cool. It gives that feeling of reward and holds you accountable. When you find someone worthy, they can connect to the app and be a part of it. As for the little sister pushing and stuff....I do not want to judge this guy but that sounds not cool unless it was just for like coloring and watching movies...but even then to just not come because the other person did not? It seems rude.

I know a good Daddie seems hard to find and no one is perfect but please listen to your gut which ever way it is leading you knowing you deserve the bestiemostbestest.

[Sweetheart420]

On 8/1/2017 at 5:35 PM, LovesSparkles said:

Daddy and I are both older, I'm a little in my 40s and he is in his 50s. We would love a section for older people. Seperate sections for older daddies and older littles. We both almost left the forum because it seemed like everyone was under 30 and we didn't fit.

Same here I'm a middle in my 30s and Daddy is in his 40s! Some advice from people our age is appreciated. 

[PRMari]

Hi everyone! 

That would be awesome. There are a few of us even older. I'm in my 60s and I know there are silver haired Daddies out there. A place to share thoughts and ideas/suggestions would be wonderful. 

Blessings and blessings

Mari

[LittleCaliAli]

Agreed

[PennyGoodfellow]

I'm 31 and think that would be great to have a place I can go to as I continue to age! 

 

[blingsing]

On 6/11/2020 at 6:29 AM, LDLadybug said:

Hello! Is anyone in their 40's or 50's and a current member? I'm new to this and would like to make friends!

 

On 6/11/2020 at 6:29 AM, LDLadybug said:

Hello! Is anyone in their 40's or 50's and a current member? I'm new to this and would like to make friends!

Hi LadyBug, if you're still around, I'm 47. 

[blingsing]

On 6/15/2023 at 1:03 AM, Sloth Fairy said:

Hi

I just turned 50 and have definitely felt the same at times thinking I wish I had discovered this when I was younger. There are other older littles out there but I think we don't come out of the woodwork because ddlg seems to be geared so much towards younger people. But we are just as valid as littles as anyone in their 20s

Hi Fairy and Mari,

I'm older too and have just recently embraced this side of myself. I'm genuinely happier having acknowledged this. I'm new here and I've joined to meet other people in the same circumstance. 

[Alisolte]

Oo, I'm 33. I would love if we had our own channel! That would be fun!

[Alisolte]

1 hour ago, Alisolte said:

Oo, I'm 33. I would love if we had our own channel! That would be fun!

Oopsies, I couldn't sleep and I found it. 🙃

[Lt.SassyRed]

So I've been on this forum for 7 yrs and now looking at everything as I've aged I'm starting to wonder am I still a little or have I just went straight sub... I love cuddles and stuffies and I still want daddy to take care of me but...... I'm starting to crave punishment dream about it beg for it and I don't really know what to do with this. It's not new information that I like a good session. My daddy and I have been together for 9yrs and I'm starting to think that as the time went on I'm thinking of him more as Sir then daddy now!?! Thoughts

 

[Cebakes]

2 hours ago, Lt.SassyRed said:

So I've been on this forum for 7 yrs and now looking at everything as I've aged I'm starting to wonder am I still a little or have I just went straight sub... I love cuddles and stuffies and I still want daddy to take care of me but...... I'm starting to crave punishment dream about it beg for it and I don't really know what to do with this. It's not new information that I like a good session. My daddy and I have been together for 9yrs and I'm starting to think that as the time went on I'm thinking of him more as Sir then daddy now!?! Thoughts

 

 I think that is a natural transition and certainly something that makes sense for you. Sounds exciting!  I see that dynamic sometimes when I meet a woman who clearly isn’t into DDLG, or is closer to my age.  She may like many aspects that a CG or daddy offers,  there is lots of laughter, silliness, cuddles, and there is a power exchange dynamic.

One important question, does your daddy have a side to him that can offer the punishment you seek?  Is that something he would enjoy or be able to provide? Have you discussed this?

[Guest BeesCees]

Can a little be 65 years old?  Are there actually anyone who wants someone so old and all that comes with it?

[DaddyMarin]

In my opinion your age given on your legal id has nothing to do with how you feel..

Being 89 in the as I call it "outside world" or 21 doesn't matter if you're a little/middle or whatever age you think or feel you are is ok, as long as it makes you happy, comfy and safe . Myself I am a 54 year old DaddyDom and struggled with that just due to the fact that I encountered lots of people in the DDlg life that were between 18-30 .. so here I was feeling to old , but little did I know, pun intended, and now I can finaly feel ok with being older and connect to older littles Wich is totally awesome.. just let your inner person be what it needs to be

[Kittyara207]

Never let your age a define who or what you can be.  Always be true to yourself