Older/Mature Littles/Middles

[LittlePrincessBunny]

16 hours ago, StrayCatNZ said:

42 year old autistic 10 year old middle here 😺 I like having 3 decades of experience of being 10 year old, although a bit annoyed how much I had to spend undercover. And most of it as a hermit, since I could never connect to adults, they are weird and alien to me 🐱

Now the problem is, how do I find other big kids to connect to? Should I try to organize an event? I have plenty of time now that I'm on disability. But how it should look like?
If you were to attend an event to get to know other middles (or littles), how would you like it to look like? Go on bigger playground? To the beach? I would happily go even to the splashpad. There would definitely have to be something to do, otherwise kids will get bored... 🐱

I would go like to a waterpark. If you have one around near you or amusement parks are always fun, but the beach is good to. Or arcade if you have an arcade around you like adventure Landing.

[Sloth Fairy]

On 5/11/2023 at 12:35 PM, PRMari said:

Hi there:

I'm kinda disheartened seeing that a lot of littles think they are older when they are 25 or even 40.  I don't know if I will ever find anyone to be able to talk to about what I am experiencing.  To me, any one under 45 is just starting out, so much life to life, places to see and people to meet.  Honestly, with the utmost respect, I don't think an 18 years can really know - I use my own 18 year self (a long, long, long time ago) as a reference.  You are usually shallow and self-absorbed and have no sense of your real self.  Please pardon if I offend anyone - it is not my intention.

From my experience I view relationships like this - when you are young, its like your running a train at full speed.  You don't think much and a lot of it is quick, rough, anxious, hot and can easily burn out.  Loving when you are mature is like the languorous stretching of a cat.  Its quiet, smooth and deliberate.  Its more consistent and determined because it is laced with wisdom and knowledge.  At least that's how I view it.

Everything I feel is overwhelming and distressing, but only because I recently JUST realized what I really am, what I need and want.  I feel that it is too late to ever be able to do anything about it.  I guess they is why I feel this pressure in my chest and I want to cry all the time.  I feel so alone with this knowledge of realizing I am a little with no one is really hard.  At night I fantasize about having a daddy (albiet silver haired) that would feed me a bottle, give me a paci and hug me until I can sleep.  I can't sleep very well and haven't been able to sleep much for a long time. 

Then once I fantasize, I feel ashamed and guilty that I am this old and feeling this way.  It's like I can't win.

I've had to "suck it up" so many times in my life, take the lead and resolve everyone's problems and I'm tired.  My dream would be to able to spend some time in little space, where I don't have to worry about adult things and someone is looking out for me instead of the other way around.  To make matters worse, I lost my father last summer and no one understands the depth of my grief.  I lost my mom 35 years ago (she was only 58) to cancer and with Mother's Day coming up, that grief is choking me and I don't have a shoulder to cry on.

I'm sorry I have thrown all this out here but I feel like I'm going to explode with all these feelings.

Thanks for allowing me to set this all down.  I will shut up now.

Blessings and Blessings

Mari

Hi

I just turned 50 and have definitely felt the same at times thinking I wish I had discovered this when I was younger. There are other older littles out there but I think we don't come out of the woodwork because ddlg seems to be geared so much towards younger people. But we are just as valid as littles as anyone in their 20s

[Little kaiya]

Honestly, I'm glad I'm an older little. I've had the time to figure out what I like, don't like and need. I'm more stable and settled financially so can buy the little clothing and accessories that make me happy. I've had the time to reach a place where I don't really care about other's sparky views or judgments. There's a lot to like about being older and being a little in my mind.

[StrayKittenNZ]

8 hours ago, LittlePrincessBunny said:

I would go like to a waterpark.

Love the idea, especially since I often go on my own to play around already, would be neat to have safe company 😺

Although after having been lurking on fetlife for some time, I'm beginning to suspect this is terrible place to seek safe people... But I'm guessing there are no alternatives? 🐱

[Guest Little Princess KittenRose]

On 6/14/2023 at 3:14 PM, BrattyAngel said:

You can call me Angel 😇 I love your name Kitten 🐱 it’s beautiful 😻 

Hi Angel 😇 that is such a beautiful name 😍😍😍

[Little kaiya]

7 hours ago, StrayCatNZ said:

Love the idea, especially since I often go on my own to play around already, would be neat to have safe company 😺

Although after having been lurking on fetlife for some time, I'm beginning to suspect this is terrible place to seek safe people... But I'm guessing there are no alternatives? 🐱

Fetlife has it's place and certainly has tons of safe people. Now, if you mean safe as non-sexual your probably likely to find far fewer people. Fetlife is a site for people with kinks to meet other people with the same or similar kinks so it makes sense there are probably a higher percentage of people looking for a sexually based connection.

As for other alternatives to meet people there are lots. My Dadsy and I have no interest in a sexually based connection with others so we use other ways to find people. As an example, we're also both furries so we meet people at conventions. Or as gamers we meet folks on platforms like Discord.

Over the years we've made some close little friends that we hang out at the beach with, go shopping, waterparks, amusement parks, mini golf and so much more. Fetlife was never our go to but that doesn't mean it's hard to meet folks.

[babyhectate]

I am 43 and a little. Having a space for older littles is a great idea.

[StrayKittenNZ]

On 6/16/2023 at 4:47 PM, Little kaiya said:

As for other alternatives to meet people there are lots.

Hmm, are there any nontraumatizing ways for simple autistic kid though? Me with bunch of scary adults is terrifying experience and recipe for disaster, especially if I fail to make myself "invisible". While I can survive by masking hard, especially now that I look big enough to not be bullied outright, this is still unhealthy 🐱

Edited June 19, 2023 by StrayCatNZ

[Little kaiya]

It's important  to find people you have things in common with. For example, for my Daddy and I, we don't age regress so we only interact with littles who don't age regress. If you don't want to be around adults, keeping in mind everyone here is legally an adult, then you need to look for places with people who want the same which may be age regressirs.

Edited June 19, 2023 by Little kaiya

[LittlePrincessBunny]

On 6/15/2023 at 4:09 PM, StrayCatNZ said:

Love the idea, especially since I often go on my own to play around already, would be neat to have safe company 😺

Although after having been lurking on fetlife for some time, I'm beginning to suspect this is terrible place to seek safe people... But I'm guessing there are no alternatives? 🐱

I am on fetlife and I know what you mean 

[BrassyBabyGirl]

Just wanted to say hi to my older little peeps. Keep being loverllyyyyy!

[Kittyara207]

@KittenRoseDream. Your quote is amazing i really like it.  Did you write it?

[Guest Little Princess KittenRose]

4 hours ago, Kittyara207 said:

@KittenRoseDream. Your quote is amazing i really like it.  Did you write it?

No I didn't write it I just got it off the Internet. It's really 2 quotes and I went crazy with the bold and italic options for the text...

[lilpincess]

31 minutes ago, KittenRoseDream said:

No I didn't write it I just got it off the Internet. It's really 2 quotes and I went crazy with the bold and italic options for the text...

Love it!

[Kittyara207]

Your quote speaks volumes.

[AspiringDaddy]

19 hours ago, KittenRoseDream said:

No I didn't write it I just got it off the Internet. It's really 2 quotes and I went crazy with the bold and italic options for the text

Thanks @KittenRoseDream for this quote. It ought to be a pinned post on the forum.

[Guest Little Princess KittenRose]

On 7/8/2023 at 10:17 PM, Kittyara207 said:

Your quote speaks volumes.

Thanks, I look long and hard for something that I can really relate to it. I wanted to show all the facets of myself... Kinda letting you know what to expect when dealing with someone like me...

[Baby Manda]

Hi I'm new and happy to see I'm not the only one in my 40s who loves being little! I am starting to really embrace the Baby Girl in me and am hoping to make some friends! What are some things you do IRL to help you feel little in public?

[LilLamby73]

9 hours ago, Baby Girl Miss Amanda said:

Hi I'm new and happy to see I'm not the only one in my 40s who loves being little! I am starting to really embrace the Baby Girl in me and am hoping to make some friends! What are some things you do IRL to help you feel little in public?

Welcome!

I love wearing frilly skorts or skirts. I also have a collection of fun shoes and I sometimes wear my hair in braids or pigtails. ☺️

Edited July 15, 2023 by LilLamby73

[Baby Manda]

I wear cute dresses or skorts most of the time and braids, or pigtails too!!! I also wear fun things in my hair like butterfly clips or flower head bands or clips! My hair is super curly so I can wear all kinds of fun things in it and it looks good! But I don't like make up.... it feels too old for me. I really looooooove dressing up for holidays and seasonal clothes. 

[Baby Manda]

I've been reading through messages here and realize I'm not as alone as I feel. I have a little different problem that I'm not sure how to handle. I've had to to be really independent my adult life and have been a single mom most of 19 years now.  I tried being married and my ex husband hated my little tendency and behaviors. Our relationship got difficult and I left 7 yrs ago. I'm finally fully re-embracing my little self. I recently met a co-worker at a temporary part time job who had some experience  being a Dom before. When I mentioned I was interested in having a Daddy and being a Baby Girl he said he would try... as friends. However, he was just getting out of a dating relationship and we are both single parents with teenagers going to college in the fall.  We both work a lot and I have a 10 year old, too. We have hardly any time to see each other. IRL 8 times, including talking after work and a few phone calls since April. I quit the part time job the beginning of July and haven't seen him at all in 2 weeks. We've only talked on the phone 2 times. I send messages daily on snap and text, but he doesn't always respond. I understand he's busy and I don't want to burden him, but I really am at a place where I want a Daddy! I asked for some rules, even a bedtime. He doesn't follow through with a consequence when I break a rule. Sometimes he texts big letters at me but if he's not enforcing the rules, I feel kinda lost. I also feel like my little age really is more of a Baby Girl 2 - 4 maybe younger sometimes, but I don't know how to talk about it with him. When I asked him what he thought my little age was he said tween or maybe 7 - 8 year old. My own children tell people I'm 4 and 3 (not 43 my actual physical age) because of how I act and talk and dress and eat and the movies I watch and everything!!! I've started exploring on my own with pacifiers, sippy cups, little plates and silverware (all of which he encourages), but also onsies, diapers at night and bottles that I just can't tell him because I'm afraid he won't like it. When i asked him about bottles he said he didn't know what he thought because he had never tried it. I also had a night when my kids were gone overnight and he was planning on coming over, but he wants me to have a little sister and I'm struggling with DD/lg being new to me and the little sister is a big stretch.  The friend I invited said no and so he didn't come over either. I had my bunny tail in, my bunny ears on and my cute little dress on waiting for him and he took a nap! He did call and talk several times during the day and evening, but never came over.  I feel like it's over and that it's ok to move on to someone else. My feelings and my needs are valid and important too. But I also worry that I may be running away from something that could be good. If he really is just super busy right now, I need to be patient and wait for him. Daddies and little girls are few and far between in my part of the country (we're in a super conservative and rural area). I may be alone for another 7 years if I let this go, or I may make us both super miserable by ending something that could be great! How do I begin to make this decision and communicate my needs to my Daddy?

Also, is it normal to be this full of self-doubt all the time when you're a little? It's so much easier for me to just let someone else tell me what to do and then I do it! When I don't do it correctly or forget something,  I just feel better when I can apologize AND have some sort of consequence (write a note, take a time-out, correct my mistake). 

Thanks for your help!

[Guest brynnabella]

I am so glad i came across this thread bc as i approach my 49th trip around the sun in a matter of 15 days i wasnt so sure my decision to return here was a wise one. I have struggled with the thoughts that maybe its time to just "grow up" and give up my little side entirely. I have kept it securely locked away for several years but recently have felt the lonilness and longing for friends and companions with whom i can be true to my true self.  I am incredibly shy and keep to myself. Frequently afraid to reach out and speak to anyone little or big, but im trying. I really need friends.

[Cebakes]

4 hours ago, Baby Girl Miss Amanda said:

I've been reading through messages here and realize I'm not as alone as I feel. I have a little different problem that I'm not sure how to handle. I've had to to be really independent my adult life and have been a single mom most of 19 years now.  I tried being married and my ex husband hated my little tendency and behaviors. Our relationship got difficult and I left 7 yrs ago. I'm finally fully re-embracing my little self. I recently met a co-worker at a temporary part time job who had some experience  being a Dom before. When I mentioned I was interested in having a Daddy and being a Baby Girl he said he would try... as friends. However, he was just getting out of a dating relationship and we are both single parents with teenagers going to college in the fall.  We both work a lot and I have a 10 year old, too. We have hardly any time to see each other. IRL 8 times, including talking after work and a few phone calls since April. I quit the part time job the beginning of July and haven't seen him at all in 2 weeks. We've only talked on the phone 2 times. I send messages daily on snap and text, but he doesn't always respond. I understand he's busy and I don't want to burden him, but I really am at a place where I want a Daddy! I asked for some rules, even a bedtime. He doesn't follow through with a consequence when I break a rule. Sometimes he texts big letters at me but if he's not enforcing the rules, I feel kinda lost. I also feel like my little age really is more of a Baby Girl 2 - 4 maybe younger sometimes, but I don't know how to talk about it with him. When I asked him what he thought my little age was he said tween or maybe 7 - 8 year old. My own children tell people I'm 4 and 3 (not 43 my actual physical age) because of how I act and talk and dress and eat and the movies I watch and everything!!! I've started exploring on my own with pacifiers, sippy cups, little plates and silverware (all of which he encourages), but also onsies, diapers at night and bottles that I just can't tell him because I'm afraid he won't like it. When i asked him about bottles he said he didn't know what he thought because he had never tried it. I also had a night when my kids were gone overnight and he was planning on coming over, but he wants me to have a little sister and I'm struggling with DD/lg being new to me and the little sister is a big stretch.  The friend I invited said no and so he didn't come over either. I had my bunny tail in, my bunny ears on and my cute little dress on waiting for him and he took a nap! He did call and talk several times during the day and evening, but never came over.  I feel like it's over and that it's ok to move on to someone else. My feelings and my needs are valid and important too. But I also worry that I may be running away from something that could be good. If he really is just super busy right now, I need to be patient and wait for him. Daddies and little girls are few and far between in my part of the country (we're in a super conservative and rural area). I may be alone for another 7 years if I let this go, or I may make us both super miserable by ending something that could be great! How do I begin to make this decision and communicate my needs to my Daddy?

Also, is it normal to be this full of self-doubt all the time when you're a little? It's so much easier for me to just let someone else tell me what to do and then I do it! When I don't do it correctly or forget something,  I just feel better when I can apologize AND have some sort of consequence (write a note, take a time-out, correct my mistake). 

Thanks for your help!

How long have you guys known each other?  It does seem a little bit early to bring a third person into your dynamics.  It feels like you are quite busy, you are a mom,  the two of you are still getting to know each other,  establishing your needs, desires, norms and boundaries of the relationship.  

What is his experience as being a daddy? Does it really line up with what you were looking for?  How busy is he? Does he truly have time to ?  Do you think he truly enjoys the things that you are seeking?  Is he an open guy? Communication is key and these are some pretty basic wants and desires that you’re asking for. 

As far as self doubt, do you have self-doubt issues in real life?  In an ideal world and situation, you would not be having self-doubt in littlepace.  That is something that I’ve helped several women with and it’s not uncommon. Have you talked to your daddy about this?  That’s where words of praise and affirmation, support, etc. can really help.

[Vampiress]

7 hours ago, Baby Girl Miss Amanda said:

I've been reading through messages here and realize I'm not as alone as I feel. I have a little different problem that I'm not sure how to handle. I've had to to be really independent my adult life and have been a single mom most of 19 years now.  I tried being married and my ex husband hated my little tendency and behaviors. Our relationship got difficult and I left 7 yrs ago. I'm finally fully re-embracing my little self. I recently met a co-worker at a temporary part time job who had some experience  being a Dom before. When I mentioned I was interested in having a Daddy and being a Baby Girl he said he would try... as friends. However, he was just getting out of a dating relationship and we are both single parents with teenagers going to college in the fall.  We both work a lot and I have a 10 year old, too. We have hardly any time to see each other. IRL 8 times, including talking after work and a few phone calls since April. I quit the part time job the beginning of July and haven't seen him at all in 2 weeks. We've only talked on the phone 2 times. I send messages daily on snap and text, but he doesn't always respond. I understand he's busy and I don't want to burden him, but I really am at a place where I want a Daddy! I asked for some rules, even a bedtime. He doesn't follow through with a consequence when I break a rule. Sometimes he texts big letters at me but if he's not enforcing the rules, I feel kinda lost. I also feel like my little age really is more of a Baby Girl 2 - 4 maybe younger sometimes, but I don't know how to talk about it with him. When I asked him what he thought my little age was he said tween or maybe 7 - 8 year old. My own children tell people I'm 4 and 3 (not 43 my actual physical age) because of how I act and talk and dress and eat and the movies I watch and everything!!! I've started exploring on my own with pacifiers, sippy cups, little plates and silverware (all of which he encourages), but also onsies, diapers at night and bottles that I just can't tell him because I'm afraid he won't like it. When i asked him about bottles he said he didn't know what he thought because he had never tried it. I also had a night when my kids were gone overnight and he was planning on coming over, but he wants me to have a little sister and I'm struggling with DD/lg being new to me and the little sister is a big stretch.  The friend I invited said no and so he didn't come over either. I had my bunny tail in, my bunny ears on and my cute little dress on waiting for him and he took a nap! He did call and talk several times during the day and evening, but never came over.  I feel like it's over and that it's ok to move on to someone else. My feelings and my needs are valid and important too. But I also worry that I may be running away from something that could be good. If he really is just super busy right now, I need to be patient and wait for him. Daddies and little girls are few and far between in my part of the country (we're in a super conservative and rural area). I may be alone for another 7 years if I let this go, or I may make us both super miserable by ending something that could be great! How do I begin to make this decision and communicate my needs to my Daddy?

Also, is it normal to be this full of self-doubt all the time when you're a little? It's so much easier for me to just let someone else tell me what to do and then I do it! When I don't do it correctly or forget something,  I just feel better when I can apologize AND have some sort of consequence (write a note, take a time-out, correct my mistake). 

Thanks for your help!

Hello! I agree with Cebakes about it being too soon to add another person to the dynamic when you're still barely exploring one with him.

I think the thing that really stands out to me is his lack of enthusiasm. Even if he is busy, if he's excited about something he'd put in more effort. He is doing the bare minimum, and that one time he didn't even come over. Did he at least warn you he was going to nap, or did he nap without telling you? I think you should just talk to him and tell him your needs. Let him know if this isn't working for him that it's okay and you can just go back to being friends and you'll move on and find someone else. If he says he is interested, then he needs to commit to trying a bit more. Set yourself some boundaries, if he just goes back to barely participating then you end it for good instead of letting him say it'll get better when it doesn't.

[sweet_heart3784]

Hello all!! Can definitely relate to being an older little. I am 39, and identify as a non binary middle. Even though my chronological age is 39, I feel as awkward as a 16 year old. Hope this helps!