fake daddy vs real daddy

[Guest littleaddie]

Can someone tell me the difference between a real daddy and fake daddy? I would really love to know because I think I'm talking to a fake daddy.

 

I need all the comments and advice I can get.

 

 Thanks

[Antoinette]

No. I personally can't, because it's not my place, or anyone's place to say whether or not somebody is faking their identity. I can point out predatory behaviour, I can point out red flags, etc. but I can't tell you if someone is faking being a daddy.

 

What does that even mean? If they're a daddy they're a daddy - simple as. Daddies can be cunts too. You can be an asshole and also be a daddy, not every daddy is nice just like not every little is nice. I made a 'fake daddy' forum in the past explaining my emotions towards the term and there's also another amazing post about it. 

 

Nobody has any right to call someone else a fake daddy, just like they don't have the right to call someone a fake little.

 

If the person your speaking to doesn't align with what you're (PERSONALLY) looking for in a daddy, move along - it doesn't mean they're not a daddy, it just means that you're not compatible. 

[Guest littleloveslars]

So sick of these posts.

[DaddyStevie]

Hi TBP,

I have to agree with Antoinette but would like to give an example of something that happened to me on Tumblr. I have an adult blog there with an emphasis on DD/lg and my profile says I'm looking for someone. This very kinky and submissive girl starts chatting to me then quickly became bored. Why? Well first and foremost I'm an old fashioned gent so I was nothing but nice to her. From online conversational posts she shared and things she posted, she seemed to like rough guys and rough treatment. That is not my style but doesn't make me any less a Daddy or dominant, I'm just polite especially when talking to women for the first time. I think she mistook my politeness as being soft as she claimed "too many Tumblr Doms not real ones on here!" Everyone has their own level of Little or Dom, some are into rough stuff others are into being pampered etc doesn't mean anyone is doing the wrong thing or not who they make themselves out to be. There are no rules for who you are and it equally applies in fetishism. Hope this helps

[Untwisted]

The question boils down to "what's the difference between a compatible person and an incompatible person".  That means compatible with you, so only you can know that.  If someone is lying to you they're simply lying.

[Mikaitaku]

A real one will take the time get to know you. A fake one will only want to use you

[Little Illy]

I'm just gonna leave this here...

 

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/23301-fake-it-needs-to-stop/

[Guest Loki]

 

I do not understand people who say there's no such thing as a fake daddy. A fake daddy is the same as a fake boyfriend. Someone who cheats, doesn't care about the other person, and uses the term "daddy" to take advantage of littles is fake. Likewise for littles who only want to take advantage of others.

 

These people aren't fake people, of course, but there behaviour consists of lying, cheating and only caring about themselves. Some even do this to see how many they can hurt, and see that as a badge of honour.

 

How exactly is that not fake when it pertains to behaviour that is the exact opposite of what should be done?

 

Yes there are different styles, but to say there is no such thing as a fake daddy/little is to ignore the real damage such people cause. Different styles and preferences are not the same as outright abuse and taking advantage.

Edited July 29, 2017 by Pinkyellowblue

[Little Illy]

I don't think people are saying that there are never any fake daddies - but I think what is happening is the frustration of every daddy being accused of being a fake daddy.

 

You are absolutely right - there are horrible people out there (both CGs and littles) and we need to make sure they don't stay and hurt our community members. But before a person should call him/her a fake, we need to make sure they legitimately are so. That is all. At least from my perspective. 

 

And most importantly, we should always be sure to get both sides of the stories before throwing around any labels. We typically only hear one side - and during a break up or emotional stress, some things can be distorted or down right made up (either from the end of the CG or the little). 

 

I personally don't like people calling other people fake until there is concrete evidence. That is just my opinion. And I will protect ANYONE from any fake CG or little in any way I can. 

 

It really is a delicate line to walk when figuring it out (for someone else). Which I think is the trouble we are experiencing in this community.

 

Again - this is all just MY opinion and I am not claiming anything as fact...

[Guest Maccyx]

Fake vs. real seems to be a sore spot for some around here. Someone was kind enough to drop a link above related to a recent previous discussion on the matter, but allow me to insert my semi-recycled opinion here...

 

Real vs. fake in my opinion boils down to a Webster-like level of definition in my opinion. Everything else is simply differing levels of compatibility that people are just too quick to slap the whole fake label on because it is easy and convenient(aka lazy). A real (insert title here) is someone who is genuinely interested, genuinely cares, is not playing games and has no ulterior motives. It's just that simple. Whether we are talking Daddies, Doms, Daddy Doms, baby girls, little, middles, subs, etc. the words fake and real are fairly universal in their application. People who are disingenuous and wear a cloak to hide their true intentions are indeed fake. Those of us who are real have no need to resort to tactics of any sort.

 

I consider myself to be a Daddy Dom, and I don't really care to assign percentages as to how Daddy-like or Domly I am because I think it's ludicrous to quantify anyone let alone myself in such fashion, and yet I have likely been accused of being fake in the past. Why is that? Because I did not live up to an expectation. I don't rush anything at all ever. I have a preference to get to know people and let things develop more naturally. Some people just don't have that patience, and that comes from either a lack of experience or lack of understanding what it is that you really want. Most all of my 'failures' came as a result of the fact that I was not willing to push envelopes as quickly as someone else, in other words I would not impose my Dom side in a fashion that met their timeline. I don't sweat those misses because the way I operate I need to know who I am dealing with, I need to care, their needs to be a certain connection, and if you're in such a damn rush that my cautiousness is going to aggravate you then I know that we are not compatible. I need sincerely care, and so therefore I have surmised that as much as I do enjoy my Dom side I am likely more of a Daddy first. That does not make me less of Dom in my eyes, but it does perhaps in others. That does not make me a fake.

 

Case in point - I have for the most part been largely single for the last year and a half. That does not mean that I have not dated or been otherwise involved with anyone in that period, but no one has risen to a level of interest and filled the role that I want filled. I have met one or two remarkable women in that time frame, but in this instance I am only going to speak about one. Her name is Lauren, and on paper she would seem to be the least likely candidate for needing a Daddy let alone a Dom, but it is because of my prescient nature that I was able to pick her out of the crowd so to say.

 

I met her in a bar (I know...ugh...get it out of your system. I hate the same setup myself, so bear with me) and I had never laid eyes on her up until that point. Local joint that I go to rather infrequently, but enough to know who the standard clientele are and who's there for a once in a while stop. She is very attractive, and in a place like that drew in all the usual leachers, but I didn't see any of that. I saw someone who was uncomfortable in her environment, but was there to escape something. It was evident all over her face. Cut through a long story of how I could see the vultures circling, I made a point of moving myself from where I was and getting close enough that we could speak. Yeah yeah, there was the eye contact and all that other jazz going on that let me know I could approach her, but that's not important to the story.

 

We spoke at length that evening. She was obviously startled, and scared, and a bit inebriated at that point because I had to step in and cut her off from the vultures that were buying her shots that night in hopes of taking advantage of her. In truth it was more than a simple bad day, but we crossed paths that day, exchanged numbers, and spoke in fits and starts since then. She had likely no idea about the D/s world let alone D/lg, but you know what that does not matter. Before we separated that night and I made sure she got safely home she said thanked me more than once and said I was 'one of the good guys'...

 

As it turns out, Lauren is a two time world champion Muay Thai fighter. She owns and runs her own dojo. She is NOT dainty in the least bit, at least not on the surface. She is a person, with real life aspirations, who fell into a rut and needed someone to talk to and help her out of that rut. No one else at that time could see her struggle. They just saw the pretty packaging and circled her like flies on shit all just trying to get whatever it is they wanted out of her. Let me be clear - I am NOT her Daddy and such terminology has never been used. We have never had any kind of intimate contact and I don't ever envision a scenario where we will. And yet, at least for a period of time, I certainly played the part. I now train underneath her and even act as a sparring partner on occasion. There is a knowing look that gets exchanged between us from time to time when training or sparring. It's fun actually because of the fact that we have had such in depth conversations in the past. I see her tutor or spar with other individuals, and it's never quite the same. There is just a level of familiarity between us that makes it different and I can catch her sly smile concerning the whole situation as easily as she catches mine...but unless something changes drastically that I'm not currently seeing there will never be any kind of relationship between us other than what it is right now.

 

So...because she is what she is, a literal ass beater, does that make her any less of a bg than someone who is self proclaimed? No, I don't think so. She doesn't know this world and if openly asked with zero context she'd likely deny any association. Am I less of a Dom because I didn't take steps to 'assert' myself over her? Fuck no. I am a person, who saw another person in need, who struck up a conversation and had it result in a friendship. Since she has recommitted herself to regaining her previous world title I have assumed the exact role she needs from me. We are friends, we talk about friend things. She reveals her insecurities to me at a pace she sees fit and I don't ask her for anymore than she is willing to give. No titles, no roles, no responsibility. We are simply two humans that interact.

 

Be careful about the real and fake labels. No doubt that there are people out on the edges of this who are looking to take advantage of others less knowledgeable, but for those of us who are GENUINE it is just a simple matter of compatibility. Rather than throw a blanket statement of fake over anyone just try to assume that maybe they just are not what you seek.

[Untwisted]

To look at it another way, all dogs are loyal companions and love to fetch sticks, right?

You get a dog, you look after it and do everything right. 

 

You throw lots of sticks but the dog doesn't even look up, and it bites you every day.

Is that a fake dog?

[Daddy's_Babygirl]

I don't believe there are fake Daddies. There are people out there who I would never consider to be a caregiver, but if they say they're a caregiver, they're a caregiver. Someone above said "if they do everything different of how it should be done- they're fake".... who determines how something should be done?

 

For example, many of us aren't hardcore into BDSM even though we're in a branch off of it. We do things very differently than traditional Dom/sub couples (I know... I've been traditional Dom/sub and my husband and I's dynamic is so very different now). Is he a fake Dom? Am I a fake sub? No, we're just different types.

 

I think there's hurtful Daddies out there. I think there's wonderul Daddies out there. I think each persons want for a Daddy changes, although I doubt many are looking for the hurtful type. Some people are turned on by cheating. Some people are turned on by pretty physical pain that most would call abuse. It isn't our place to judge another.

 

To the OP.... if your Daddy makes you question weather he's real or not I'll leave you with this- does he make you feel tingly? Special? Important? Do you feel a connection on a deeper level than just the surface? If not- he's not fake- but the two of you are likely incompatible.

[Guest Princessaj]

REAL =

1. Know what you want in a Daddy/Mummy/CG and in a DDlg relationship and tell the person your are getting to know. 

2. Don't compromise.

 

FAKE =

1. The potential Daddy/Mummy/CG disrespects you, ignores what you want and is only interested in their one sided selfish agenda.

2. You allow them to behave badly and wonder why.

 

If you don't know what you want/will make you happy, you are not ready to hold "someone" else responsible for your happiness.

 

Please be and act responsibly for what will make you happy. Hugs

[Guest littleaddie]

REAL =

1. Know what you want in a Daddy/Mummy/CG and in a DDlg relationship and tell the person your are getting to know. 

2. Don't compromise.

 

FAKE =

1. The potential Daddy/Mummy/CG disrespects you, ignores what you want and is only interested in their one sided selfish agenda.

2. You allow them to behave badly and wonder why.

 

If you don't know what you want/will make you happy, you are not ready to hold "someone" else responsible for your happiness.

 

Please be and act responsibly for what will make you happy. Hugs

I love ur font and ur absolutely right

[Gabboo]

I do not understand people who say there's no such thing as a fake daddy. A fake daddy is the same as a fake boyfriend. Someone who cheats, doesn't care about the other person, and uses the term "daddy" to take advantage of littles is fake. Likewise for littles who only want to take advantage of others.

 

These people aren't fake people, of course, but there behaviour consists of lying, cheating and only caring about themselves. Some even do this to see how many they can hurt, and see that as a badge of honour.

 

How exactly is that not fake when it pertains to behaviour that is the exact opposite of what should be done?

 

Yes there are different styles, but to say there is no such thing as a fake daddy/little is to ignore the real damage such people cause. Different styles and preferences are not the same as outright abuse and taking advantage.

THIS

[Gabboo]

I don't believe there are fake Daddies. There are people out there who I would never consider to be a caregiver, but if they say they're a caregiver, they're a caregiver. Someone above said "if they do everything different of how it should be done- they're fake".... who determines how something should be done?

 

For example, many of us aren't hardcore into BDSM even though we're in a branch off of it. We do things very differently than traditional Dom/sub couples (I know... I've been traditional Dom/sub and my husband and I's dynamic is so very different now). Is he a fake Dom? Am I a fake sub? No, we're just different types.

 

I think there's hurtful Daddies out there. I think there's wonderul Daddies out there. I think each persons want for a Daddy changes, although I doubt many are looking for the hurtful type. Some people are turned on by cheating. Some people are turned on by pretty physical pain that most would call abuse. It isn't our place to judge another.

 

To the OP.... if your Daddy makes you question weather he's real or not I'll leave you with this- does he make you feel tingly? Special? Important? Do you feel a connection on a deeper level than just the surface? If not- he's not fake- but the two of you are likely incompatible.

yeah but I'm pretty sure a Daddy isn't supposed to abandon his little..all these people saying there are no such things as a fake daddy are either blinded or ignorant

[Guest kaylieXo]

Men that just want to ask you about sexual stuff and the conversation always seems to steer into that direction even if your own intentions are pure. I think that's a good way to spot them and a way I have in the past. Unfortunaley I dont think this site has a block button...I could be wrong but I think that's something they should be adding for safety reasons

[Satan]

Men that just want to ask you about sexual stuff and the conversation always seems to steer into that direction even if your own intentions are pure. I think that's a good way to spot them and a way I have in the past. Unfortunaley I dont think this site has a block button...I could be wrong but I think that's something they should be adding for safety reasons

there is a block button. If someone is bothering you , remove them as a friend ( only way people can message you is if you add them as a friend first) and contact a member of staff.