Problems with Being a Switch

[alicekitten1287]

Hi everyone!

 

I know most of you don't know me but I have been around for a little while. I am having an issue that I"m hoping you guys can help me with.

 

I am a natural switch. I can go in and out of little/sub space easily. Usually this wouldn't be an issue but its starting to give me some problems. My living situation consists of two couples, my friend, who is also a little, and her Daddy and my Domme and me. My friend's Daddy is new and has only been with her since April. Her last relationship was long distance so she didn't have a Dominant here with her. During all of that my Dominant side came out to help here. So for a while I have been switching back and forth constantly. For example, in the morning I make my Domme's lunch and then turn around to a differentt counter to help my friend get ready for work. Its giving me a feeling of whiplash. Then she got this new Daddy (yay for her!) but the need to help her has not gone away. I am not going into little space except after sex because it is the only time I am alone with my Domme and can let go of being an adult. Even then it only lasts for a few minutes.

 

I don't know what to do. She has said before that she doesn't need me anymore because she has a Daddy but he isn't a good one. Then she will turn around and come to me when she needs help with something. I want to shut off that side of me for now. In the future I might need it back but I can't keep doing this. I want to be able to let go of being an adult at home but I can't. It seems unfair that she can go into little space whenever she wants to but I can't. Does anyone have any advice?

[Guest Loki]

Speak to her as adults. If she doesn't understand your needs, then you must do what is healthy for you - whether that's only engaging her as a little, or even just outright not interacting with her.

 

Your needs are just as important as hers. It's time to take care of you!

 

I know that's sometimes difficult. I symthasize.

 

Don't wait till you burn out. That's not fun.

[Guest bunnydragon]

You need to express your self and cut her loose stop mothering for a little bit and let her make her own mistakes

[alicekitten1287]

You two are absolutely correct. My Domme has been saying the same things. My needs are just as important as hers. This issue has been causing my depression and anxiety to get a lot worse, making self care really hard. I know that I need to shower at least every other day and that I need to eat three balanced meals a day, but that is so hard to do when you have problems just getting up in the morning to go to work. I think that not being able to be little for more than a few minutes a day is exacerbating my depression and anxiety. I will take your advice though, I will do my best to stop mothering her and take care of myself. That is difficult sometimes as Pinkyellowblue pointed out. I really appreciate that you two took time out of your day to respond to this post. Thank you!

[Princess Light]

Think about what you really want and need for your self care and draw up boundaries along those lines. Then talk to her and make those boundaries clear and known. If you regress into your sub space and need help sticking to your boundaries, i'd suggest you ask your Dom to hold you accountable. Having boundaries does not make you a bad person, having boundaries does not make you a bad friend. We all need these for our own sake and mental health. I hope this helps 

Edited July 31, 2017 by Princess Light