nervous as heck but I have so many questions about being a little

[Brand new little!]

So I've been in a wonderful relationship for three years but all of a sudden BAM! It happened, my lover has decided to take it the next step and officially be my Daddy. We have played around with the idea of a d/s relationship for a long time but he's finally said he wants to be serious and I'm so excited! (But also sssoooo nervous) personally I've always known that I had childlike tendencies and yes I do have a teddy and his name is puppy(I've had him since I was born) but not until recently after my daddy's request that I do my homework on this did I realize I identified as a little. I'm not sure what age specifically because it rages from how I'm feeling...So long story short I have SO many questions and in need of advice on how to be my daddy's best little girl! Edited July 22, 2017 by Brand new little!

[Guest Mittens]

Hummm! I found your post hehe! Alright, you two have been together for years. That means you can work through all problems, you have gotten over hurdles, and nothing worth breaking up has come across your paths so it's safe to assume if all continues down this path that commitment isn't an issue either. He wants to take a new step with you, in being your daddy. You say he is new which is fine, and you are new which is fine. Just make sure you give each other reassurance and help when you both need it. Make sure to be there for him if he feels down or if he isn't doing a good job and always be honest. Honesty creates trust and with that trust when you tell him he didn't do anything wrong or if he did do something wrong it helps build up his confidence and guides him to where he needs to go. "Ok this is bad lets not do it again". It takes great patience on you and his behalf so don't leave on the smallest of issues. Make things clear for him and he should for you as well. Being a DD isn't the easiest thing, it's looking after someone who is mentally vulnerable and fragile, that's why Littles regress into their littlespace with stuffies, toys, baby talk, sippies and bottles and rattles and all that. Not everyone has to do or like the same things, I've seen littles who only like stuffies, some who dont' like stuffies but like cartoons.. So be yourself! and talk with him long and extensively about what you can do and need to do, what he likes what his interests are, set rules and boundaries and don't forget about aftercare! There are tons of sites and links that can help you with the info if you don't know what it is. You can always come to me as well, i am here to help everyone I can, even if your daddy has questions he can come to me! I welcome him . Don't be shy, it isn't bothering me at all. Thanks for joining and I wish you the best and answers to your questions!

[Brand new little!]

Thank you again for being here for advice! I'm so excited to open up to him in this new way, and for myself. He has been there for me through all my worst moments and stuck with me. Also he has been my solid rock when I thought my life was falling completely apart. My real fear is myself and my confidence to truly imbrace my little side without feeling ashamed or embarrassed. He knows how I am and how little I act and that's why he's made this push towards this direction. But also I'm worried that with my low self confidence that it will get in the way. We are both the same age and young(college) and I'm worried that if I truly let go he might not be able to handle it along with his stresses. I'm head over heels for him and would do anything to make him happy because that makes me feel SO happy.

Maybe some advice from your perspective what could I do to help him with this new daddy role? What keeps you strong for your little when things are tough for you too. Or how can my daddy stay strong for me when maybe my episodes leave me unable to give him help. (I dread the moments that I my panic attacks are too much for him)

Also maybe pointers on how to take baby steps in this new daddy little relationship?

[Guest Mittens]

Of course! That is a lot to say, where to start. Well I would say take it slowly. I know jumping into something new is always fun and exciting especially for both of you! However it can weigh a lot too. When sudden changes happen it can throw people off. So if you got this huge burst of energy and then you reclused in a little ball and didn't talk because you lost all that energy and confidence you had, then it makes him feel like he might of done something wrong. Communication is the strongest tool in any relationship. If you ease into it, he can handle the things as they come and you can handle the things as they come to you as well. A DDLG relationship for people who love the idea concept and it's always been natural for them their whole lives, they say it is stronger than any vanilla relationship. I want to tell you of a few things regarding this. Everything you feel will be stronger, your love will be stronger, your pain is stronger. Remember, the stronger you love and feel towards someone the more things hurt. So that's why I said not to jump into it. I mean it is your choice, you can if you want, but imparting my own perspective I recommend this. Personal experience. One little thing could hurt you more than you could ever imagine possible and it was something stupid and simple you had in your past or wouldn't bother you much at all that you get past, and it becomes stronger and harder to get over. So jumping in all at once can cause some couples to break up. I say to you though, if you both truly love each other, you both will suffer during a break up. Take a breath, calm down, and work through the situations. If they become unworkable then maybe you can consider a break up, but at that point you won't be feeling as strongly for the person as you previously were. But I don't think you will get to that point, not everyone does. But I like listing all possibilities because no one answer or path is right. You get panic attacks now, if he handles them well now, he will handle them just as well as a daddy. Being a daddy isn't just a title, it is treating the person with extra love care and respect. It is being a caregiver. It's like having a child irl. If they get cut, you clean it and bandage it for them and kiss it and make it feel better. You tell them it will be ok and you give them a treat or something to help them. It's special care that most vanilla relationships don't have. Establish rules, hard limits and soft limits. Soft limits are rules that can be broken in case you are bratty. For example, say you want a bed time. And you throw a fit wanting to stay up, he can punish you with a list of punishments you are ok with. This can be the common spanking or standing in a corner or it could be more restrictive like no cell phone or t.v or computer ect. It can be taking toys away and many other things. I can give you tons of ideas of rewards and punishments, but that's for a later time if you want. Hard limits are rules that are big no no's. Most of these are common among all relationships.. No cheating, No lying, ect. It can even be DDLG tuned. I have met some littles here that NEED to separate little space from sex. If you go into little space (daddy space in this case) and treat her like a little girl during sexual activities it's a deal breaker and they'll break up because of it. Set rules and limits, tell him what's ok and what's not ok, and ask him what is ok and what isn't ok. You can carry over your vanilla rules as well, but creating rules is good, it helps get him into a dominating role, where he can be like a caregiver to you, and most littles love rules. Even simple silly ones like "You gotta eat your veggies" or "You gotta go to bed on time" Even if you have a bedtime already. It helps littles be put into littlespace and it helps daddies be caregivers and more dominate. Panic attacks are hard to overcome. I get them too, and remember Daddies can be sensitive and fragile as well, they are a support structure tuned to their littles. It doesn't mean they have to be Arnold Schwarzenegger or Rambo and take stabs and bullets like it's nothing lol. They can have fears, they can be crippled too, even from depression and anxiety. So be little, be peppy, be happy. Worry will always happen on both sides, but fight it! say "NO!" to yourself and "NO!" to the voices in your head telling you to worry or you messed it. And fight it be a strong little and he be a strong daddy and you two won't have many problems. I personally treat my Panic attacks with neuro feedback, it is basically controlling my brain waves and only sending out happy juice so to speak. You need to learn bio feedback which is basically meditation to calm your body control your breathing control your heart rate and you can ease many of the physical symptoms of panic attacks, and then you control the mind and you can calm it as well after you calm your body and then you can focus more clearly and not feel the side effects. There are many doctors who can help you with it, no side effects all natural, but i learned online by watching videos and thinking of how I could apply it myself without training.  It has helped high functioning autism and ADD and ADHD severely, seen through test results. hehe. As for helping him with his daddy rule, again make rules, talk about what you want from a daddy. You want attention, you want punishments, you want rewards, you want this /that. It helps give him an idea of how to be a daddy and what he can do to make you happy. Don't jump into all of it and since it's new you can't expect people to remember them all or keep up with them, so if he makes mistakes help him ^^. Don't forget to do the same for him, what he wants what he enjoys ect.  What keeps me strong for my little when things are tough for me.. -sighs- I no longer have a little I think. I don't know what to say on that because I don't' know if we're broken up or not, however when we were together what helped me stay strong was her cheerleading. "I am here for you daddy" "We can get through everything don't worry" "I love you forever" "I want to marry you" "You are my daddy forever." I kept all her notes and card and letters she wrote for me, if you want to see the things she said and did, I can show you. They all mean the world to me and they all motivated me when I needed it most, maybe you can get ideas from those if you would like. But what really helped me most was reassurance. How your daddy can stay strong for you. He needs to know that you have issues (which he does) and he needs to support you. When these issues like panic attacks occur, all other things are null and void and you do all you can for her. Your problems, you're issues, don't even matter. My (ex?) LG had seizures, and I dropped everything and coddled her I held her hand, got her drinks, if she was hot i got wet cloths to cool her down, I would read her books, get her stuffies, play with her in some way to help her overcome that fear and anxiety. Just stay strong, and save all the issues until things are calm and better.  Some nifty ways to make baby steps (no pun intended I assume hehe) would be do things one at a time. Set a single rule or maybe 2 rules, follow them, do little space a few times a day, ease into it. Watch reactions and observe each other and don't be scared to ask if you did something wrong, either of you. It helps the other grow stronger and know what might of gone wrong and to help oncoming disaster. Do more and more, maybe start with 1 toy or little thing like a binkie/paci or maybe a onesie and test the waters. Be open and honest and genuine, don't let feelings get hurt nor let down (hard to do for most). But most of all, don't lose focus on that love you have for each other. If anything goes wrong or you feel uncomfortable then use a safe word or mention it and then stop immediately, go back to vanilla to collect yourselves and what not. Don't bite off more than you can chew, but don't be scared to bite off anything at all.  If that didn't help, let me know, I'll give more