Fake - It Needs to Stop

[Guest littleloveslars]

That was epically awesome, or awesomely epic, or both!

 

I've been promoting this same general idea in other areas of life. As a society, I feel we've gotten too quick to judge and label each other. We've lost the basic respect for each other as fellow humans. All of us are unique, and yet, if someone isn't just like us, or just like we think they ought to be, we judge them to be inferior and label them as such. Someone who parents differently is a bad parent, someone who drives differently is a bad driver, someone who worships their God differently or not at all, has different political views, different educational goals, life goals, etc., all labeled as something derogatory and condescending. Being different doesn't mean they are stupid, dumb, ignorant, or fake.

 

None of us are perfect in probably any category, let alone EVERY category of Life. We need to forgive others as we want them to forgive us, often for transgressions we are each are unaware we even committed. That "bad driver" that cut you off, might have realized it too late and feel very bad about it. That might be the first time in 5 years they've done that. Guess what, at some point in your 40-60 year driving history, you're going to accidentally cut someone off too. We all need to stop assuming the worst about each other, in every aspect of life, online AND offline. :-)

 

SO MUCH YES. JUST YES. THANK YOU

[Little Illy]

That was epically awesome, or awesomely epic, or both!

 

I've been promoting this same general idea in other areas of life. As a society, I feel we've gotten too quick to judge and label each other. We've lost the basic respect for each other as fellow humans. All of us are unique, and yet, if someone isn't just like us, or just like we think they ought to be, we judge them to be inferior and label them as such. Someone who parents differently is a bad parent, someone who drives differently is a bad driver, someone who worships their God differently or not at all, has different political views, different educational goals, life goals, etc., all labeled as something derogatory and condescending. Being different doesn't mean they are stupid, dumb, ignorant, or fake.

 

None of us are perfect in probably any category, let alone EVERY category of Life. We need to forgive others as we want them to forgive us, often for transgressions we are each are unaware we even committed. That "bad driver" that cut you off, might have realized it too late and feel very bad about it. That might be the first time in 5 years they've done that. Guess what, at some point in your 40-60 year driving history, you're going to accidentally cut someone off too. We all need to stop assuming the worst about each other, in every aspect of life, online AND offline. :-)

 

Exactly - people tend to forget that the thing that make us Us, is that we are all different. Sure we may belong to a group (DDlg, BDSM, Retail, CEOs, Wives, Siblings, etc) but that doesn't mean we are the same as everyone else in said group. And though sometimes those differences are not so good, for the vast majority they are why we love each other.

 

At the end of the day if you have to label someone in a negative light to make you feel better about yourself/situation then, in my opinion, there should be some self-reflection done. Of course there are legitimately bad people out there, but not nearly as many as people would label (inside and outside of this community).

 

My hope is that we can grow as a community in accepting these differences (the legit kind, not the bad kind) because it will really bring us all closer together. And provider a much stronger support system for everyone here.

[TheGiftedStars]

Very interesting and well put together.

I do agree with the word "fake" being tossed around on impulse. And like every other community, this one has its own issues as well. It's good to not be too strict when it comes to labels (this community isnt a religion after all) lol. A lot of the things you mentioned that other CGs and Littles have said that are required aren't relatable to me either. I dont color every night and call my CG by "Daddy" 24/7. This post clears up a lot. Thanka for bringing this out to the light.

[Little Illy]

Very interesting and well put together.

I do agree with the word "fake" being tossed around on impulse. And like every other community, this one has its own issues as well. It's good to not be too strict when it comes to labels (this community isnt a religion after all) lol. A lot of the things you mentioned that other CGs and Littles have said that are required aren't relatable to me either. I dont color every night and call my CG by "Daddy" 24/7. This post clears up a lot. Thanka for bringing this out to the light.

Honestly I completely understand. I have been told I was not a real little by quite a few people, even on this forum (both cgs and littles) and I honestly don't think they were being mean. I am 100% sure a majority of them were just unfamiliar with the fact that a little doesn't HAVE to do this or that. Like love glitter and loooove pink. I hate both.

 

Anymore with how the tides of social norm and acceptance are going, I am hoping this expectation of what a CG or little "should" be will be destroyed. There is no "should," only what "is." The only thing I ever think is a "requirement" of this dynamic is to see that it is true for you, an individual. That's it. If it's not true to you, oh well, but I see that as the only way a "must" is allowed to be categorized. Because otherwise if the dynamic is "true" to who YOU are, then you're not being real with yourself (excluding any partbers) and that can lead to unhappiness. But even in that case, it's no one's business except that person (and in some cases, their partners if they don't communicate).

 

All in all, the whole "faked" and "a REAL CG/little..." mentality needs to be done away with. I highly doubt it ever will, but it's a pipe dream of mine.

[Chubbyprincess84]

I could not agree more and have gotten into few different arguments on fb because of it... He is fake because he cheated... no.. that makes him a cheater... it has nothing to do with him being a daddy or a dom. He would have cheated in a vanilla relationship. The term 'fake' has been driving me nuts since I joined the fb groups a couple months ago.

[Guest Fros†beard]

I just wanted to say, to both sides, be careful.
Predatory individuals can be extremely patient; they can pretend to be something they're not for months and only drop the act when it's already too late.
They'll seem too good to be true because, well, all of it is a lie. They'll tear you open and suck you dry, leaving a grey, hollow shell behind before moving on to their next victim.

What I've been wondering is, do these people even realize what they're doing? Are they unable to feel remorse? Are they, in a way, grey & hollow shells themselves?
Are they trying to fill an insatiable void within? I have so many questions, but from my experience, this kind of person will absolutely deny any and all faults. It's like they've devised another layer of existence in their heads, one where they are infallible, but paradoxically also the victim if things start to slip out of their control.

[Little Illy]

I just wanted to say, to both sides, be careful.

Predatory individuals can be extremely patient; they can pretend to be something they're not for months and only drop the act when it's already too late.

They'll seem too good to be true because, well, all of it is a lie. They'll tear you open and suck you dry, leaving a grey, hollow shell behind before moving on to their next victim.

 

What I've been wondering is, do these people even realize what they're doing? Are they unable to feel remorse? Are they, in a way, grey & hollow shells themselves?

Are they trying to fill an insatiable void within? I have so many questions, but from my experience, this kind of person will absolutely deny any and all faults. It's like they've devised another layer of existence in their heads, one where they are infallible, but paradoxically also the victim if things start to slip out of their control.

 

 

Thats absolutely true - I didn't focus on littles being predators due to the trend I've seen on the forum (so many littles screaming Daddies are fake), but I can count at least two predatory littles that I have recently seen. They are very real and they pose a very real threat. It does cut both ways.

 

A lot of these people are narcissists, so they don't realize they are truly hurting people. Rather they focus on how to fulfill what they need, which overshadow their actions. Of course this isn't the case for all of these people that are predators, just a portion of them. Sadly there are so many mitigating factors that it would be nigh impossible to pinpoint a general reason.

[Little Illy]

I'm bumping this because in the past two days of my return - this issue has been flashing all over the place.

 

It really saddens me to see this mindset on the forum :|

[Cr33pyHollow]

never let this go away this is so important 

[Lil' Miss Dolly]

AHH! I've been gone for months and this is still going?! Incompatibility doesn't make you a fake Daddy or a Fake Little. Everyone wants different things - You wouldn't walk into McDonald's and ask for a whopper and then screech like a banshee that they're a fake Burger King because they don't have it. That's how insanely silly this whole argument has become. This community is vast.. with everyone looking for something different. If someone ghosts you or leads you on - They're just a douche. If someone crosses your limits without thought of how it would hurt you - They're most likely abusive. If someone doesn't want to be with you because of your physical appearance/personality/ideal of the community/life goals/etc - it doesn't make them fake; it simply means you're not compatible. You don't have a long term relationship with every person you go on a date with. This is no different. 

[PrincessNicki]

I agree 100% with what you’re saying

[Daddymanchetseruk]

I only read the top part. But the bit I read I completely agree

 

Anyway that would call someone a fake daddy is most likely a fake little.

It's so stupid. There are no rules of how to be etc.. it should Ben a natural progression of two people ideally in love and that part of the relationship as well as everything else naturally evolving.

 

I also find this need to put an actual age to it etc..the same. It's like a fad.

It's unique to the person although obviously some of the same things a lot of people would like.

 

Having not read the whole message this could just be my little irrelevant rant but there you go x

[Daddy4Princess]

i think this was very well put together, and would recommend it for a sticky.

[Guest Ignea]

On the original post, al i can do is

 

Applaud and tap my hat..

 

Well said , thank you

 

 

This should get a sticky or special place o the forum, thought over well , explained cristal clear

[Guest PaintedBird]

I just wanted to pop in and say I loved this post! Thank you for this!!

[Little Illy]

Bump bump bump bump bump....

 

 

I can't believe we still have this issue in our community. There is a difference between being Fake and being Incompatible...  

Edited May 15, 2018 by Little Illy

[Frog]

Just my two cents... I've had bad experience with some littles. To be honest, I don't know if they knew about the community, or if they were just into the online kink fascination. But I've been ghosted and had one who on Day 1 called me "Daddy" and started asking about diapers. (I'm not into ABDL.) I don't know if they were just into calling someone "Daddy" or if they were just overly needy.

 

Were they fake? Possibly. Will I insist they were fake? Probably not.

 

We didn't click, I called things off quickly, and I never looked back. Simple. I won't judge another little for the actions of another, little or wannabe little.

[Little Illy]

Were they fake? Possibly. Will I insist they were fake? Probably not.

 

We didn't click, I called things off quickly, and I never looked back. Simple. I won't judge another little for the actions of another, little or wannabe little.

 

And this is the mature response!

 

They could be uneducated, inexperienced, incompatible, or simply fake. But the fact is, WE DON'T KNOW. All we know in these situations is that something went awry and it ended. Especially as bystanders to a very, VERY, small part of their one-sided story of the relationship. Yall know how long I write my posts (and I know it annoys some of you), but even if people made posts that long about their "Fake" partners.... it is still not enough information to conclude someone is fake!

 

Anyways, I wont rant anymore XD XD 

[Guest SayiaBoo]

Just because you have a PREFERENCE doesn't mean they are FAKE. Brava.

[MommySophia]

This was quite a good read. As a trainer the word "fake" to me is vile. Thank you for explaining it like this. 

[Guest Kittyn]

Thank you very much, this is very well written. I am glad someone see's the issues within our community as well as I. There are all types of dynamics within this lifestyle and this dynamic is no exception. -stands up and claps-

[Guest brattynsweet]

I completely agree. Thank you for taking the time to type all that down for everyone. I'm new here, and I am learning more and more about this community. The first thing I came to understand is that there is no clear definition of what a little or caregiver should be and act like. It's all about compatibility. Don't have high expectations; no one is perfect. And it should be common sense that no one can be in that headspace 100% of the time. We all need space, a little break, when life gets tough. Being in a relationship means showing support when your partner is suffering. Don't expect them to be a perfect caregiver, or a perfect little all the time.

[PiperParadis]

As a person that got into this not long ago, I REALLY apreciate it. I think this should be in a place where every new person in this forum reads it.

For me it's been hard to assimilate that I felt identified with the DDlg lifestyle/relationship type/whatever, because everything I've known about or the image we tend to have is that if you're a little, you like coloring books, wearing ponytails and pink porn-version of childlish clothing and your daddy wears suits, gives you treats and have dom sex with you while introducing you to "this new game in which you make daddy happy but it's between us and nobody can ever knows" which is a disturbing idea in any way you look at it.

Knowing that DDlg goes farther than that, that there's multiple types of relationships, that you, as little or as daddy doesn't have to be or to act a certain way (You can be a submissibe daddy and a dom little, or vice versa) is awesome.

Reading you post made me feel more secure about the decision I took about entering in this forum and giving it a shot.

THANKS.

[Fragile Princess]

The only fake Daddies are f*ckboys just wanting nudes.

[Aston]

The only fake Daddies are f*ckboys just wanting nudes.

im not sure why you felt necessary to contribute this to this discussion but after some of my latest interactions with "littles" im becoming more and more convinced that any kind of thoughtful communication is completely wasted on them.

 

what's the point of wasting energy on reading someone's profile and past posts, so you can get a good idea of who they are so you can come up with a well thought out opener with the hope you can start some kibd of meaningful conversation with them. onlyy to have them

 

a: ignore it

b: react incredibly hostile

c: quit responding after 2 days.

 

after my latest experience im genuinely done with it and frankly im about about one step away of giving up on common decency and just whip my dick out and ask for nudes like everyone else.

 

at this point im just tired sick of putting in the wasted effort

 

But despite that, the person who I interacted with was in no way a "fake". sure, they were emotionally damaged, but they were still a genuine little.

 

people in this community tend to label any kind of undesirable behavior as "fake"

 

fuckboys asking for nudes are an irritatiting nuissance. but they are crude, and theyre easy to spot.

 

that said

.

truth is, there is far more malignant behavior out there than just that

 

there are definately some "fakes" out there. there are some predatory assholes out there calling themselves daddy. and either naive or emotionally vulnerable girls who cant distinguish dominant behavior from severe abuse.

 

in the last few days alone I've seen several instances where someone who was looking for a caregiver was repeatedly ground down by guys who mistook their own toxic personality for "dominance" and think that being a domme means emotionally damaging someone