Hiiiiiiiii I need a teensy bit of advice about my daddy

[Guest bbymia]

Hiiii everyone, I'm super new here so I'm not quite sure how this works yet but I was wondering if I could get some advice on a thing with my "daddy". So I'm a new little and I love being childish and goofy and whatnot and have just discovered this community a few months ago and I looooooooove it. So, just for backround, I'm poly and I'm suuuuper comfortable with this. I met this guy (daddy) and we've been talking and sending nudies and whatnot and I really think I might love him and he's so sweet and a great daddy overall (well, as good as a LDR one can be).

 

So, recently, he asked me if I wanted to make it official, him and I and I was so happy and I was all excited, and then he mentions that he might be poly and I got even more excited. He always asks me first to make sure I'm okay w/ it but he messes around with other girls, and I'm totally ok w/ that because I know that he still loves me. So because we have a LDR, I asked him if I could do *it with a really nice friend of mine (since I am a virgin and would like to at least get it out of the way) and I thought it'd be okay. He said he didn't like the idea, which is understandable, but I felt a little shut down. I felt it was a little unfair since he could mess around and I couldn't, and I was under the impression that he was totally okay with polyamory. He knows I love him, but I'm just a little conflicted due to this.

 

If anyone could offer any advice as to how to talk to him or maybe help me understand, that'd be great! Thank youuuuu

 

-xoxo, grly

[Little Illy]

When it comes to polyamory, my motto is "fair is fair." If he is saying something is fair for him, but not for you - then I find that a bit selfish. Things should be equal when it comes to open relationship, polyamory, etc type relationships. Otherwise there will be a conflict and one will always seem like they are being restricted.

 

I would have a serious sit down with you Daddy (potential Daddy) and tell him your concerns. Maybe if it isn't okay for you to mess around, it shouldnt be okay for him to. If he cant understand this... maybe he wants an environment where he can play all he wants but his girls are restricted only to him. Its an icky thought to have, but one you must always look out for.

 

I wish you the very best! I truly hope it all works out.

[PlumpNekoPrincess]

As a member of both the poly community and being a little of the ddlg dynamic, I'd say his daddy instincts are kicking in over his poly tendencies. I think you two really should have a very long chat and figure out each other's definition of poly and discuss and set any rules in place that you can both agree on. Same goes with your ddlg relationship. Both poly and cgl relationships have many different ways they can be done depending on each couple's unique set of ideas and needs and it's important that you both come to a common conclusion for your specific relationship. 

Before I can give any further advice, that talk reallyyyyy needs to happen! There could be many reasons for his reaction/reply and without knowing how his mind functions, I'd need more info! I don't want to just out right say he's being unfair without hearing his reasons behind said decision. 

[Guest bbymia]

As a member of both the poly community and being a little of the ddlg dynamic, I'd say his daddy instincts are kicking in over his poly tendencies. I think you two really should have a very long chat and figure out each other's definition of poly and discuss and set any rules in place that you can both agree on. Same goes with your ddlg relationship. Both poly and cgl relationships have many different ways they can be done depending on each couple's unique set of ideas and needs and it's important that you both come to a common conclusion for your specific relationship. 

Before I can give any further advice, that talk reallyyyyy needs to happen! There could be many reasons for his reaction/reply and without knowing how his mind functions, I'd need more info! I don't want to just out right say he's being unfair without hearing his reasons behind said decision. 

 

 

When it comes to polyamory, my motto is "fair is fair." If he is saying something is fair for him, but not for you - then I find that a bit selfish. Things should be equal when it comes to open relationship, polyamory, etc type relationships. Otherwise there will be a conflict and one will always seem like they are being restricted.

 

I would have a serious sit down with you Daddy (potential Daddy) and tell him your concerns. Maybe if it isn't okay for you to mess around, it shouldnt be okay for him to. If he cant understand this... maybe he wants an environment where he can play all he wants but his girls are restricted only to him. Its an icky thought to have, but one you must always look out for.

 

I wish you the very best! I truly hope it all works out.

Thank you guys so much!! <3 I'll definitely talk with him a little more about my concerns, just need to get the courage to do so first lol 

[Guest bunnydragon]

The thing with pollys is that they still belive they own u he may not be comftorable with you doing a polly relationhip too. some times still.But thing that worried me is that u want to get your virginity out of the way.I understand that being a virgin kinda sucks but when you meet the right person that you truly love is amazing.I know its your body and you can do what every you want with it but you should wait and think hard about it so you dont have regrets later in life

Edited July 19, 2017 by bunnydragon