Need a CGs point of view

[Guest ~lele~]

I wasn't sure what section to post this. I'm just gonna put it on here and hopefully someone can help or relate.

 

When my Daddy and I first met I was an extremely sexual and naughty person and he felt he finally had met his match in every way.

 

My health started declining vastly shortly after, mentally and physically. I had major surgery and now have an autoimmune disease. I've lost all drive and interest in sex but love my Daddy. We are LDR and we both know that's all we'll ever be. But, we still love each other and want to stay together, can't imagine not having one another.

 

The problem is, Daddy is still very sexual and has no outlet that satisfies him but he says doesn't want any other little. We once had rules and punishments that were strictly enforced and satisfying to both, but since I've changed so much those have been lost to us.

 

So, we fear we're losing our dynamic and it's got Daddy down and me too. We both feel like failures. I need the structure and rules to keep me feeling little, it's just how I work. He wants to give them, but he doesn't really get anything in return but my behaving. If I misbehave, he is unclear how to discipline me appropriately and it be satisfactory for him. I realize some couples may view the need for these things in a different light but we could truly use some good advice or suggestions. Thank you in advance.

[osito]

*hugs*

Man that seems like a tough situation.

 

I'm not super experienced, but I think some things might help.

 

First, if you haven't done this, communicate with each other about what you each need in a relationship, and then figure out what each can offer. I believe there's nothing wrong with compromise in a relationship, as long as each partner is being adequately satisfied. Have a talk where you address everything.

 

Second, well, that's the main thing. Be 100% honest with one another with what you can give to fulfill the other partner and yourselves. There's gotta be some kind of middle ground. When you find it, just make sure you're both satisfied by it.

[Guest Mr.Stuffykins]

In this sitation I think there has to be an emphasis on understanding one another. On his end he has to try his best to accept that things are different now. Fixating on how things were will prevent you guys from being happy. I'm sure the sense of satisfaction he obtained from those sexual activities can be acquired in a different sense. Toning down his level of sexual desire while you try your best to reach some sort of compromise. In your post you stated that you lost all interest in sex. I think, as difficult as it might be, you need to find a place where you're comfortable being sexual. Since his drive is very high he needs to lower and you need to bring it up. For both, the task will be difficult, but it is an absolute necessity.

If he is completely reluctant on trying or unable to find gratification in giving you structure - then perhaps you should consider getting a platonic caregiver? Someone who can give you rules/struture/discipline without any sexual or even romantic attachment. Solely for the purpose of bringing some composition in your life.

 

I do pray that everything will work out between you too. Take care