Question from a little

[sweetlittleone21]

I currently am talking to someone who says he wantss to be my long term daddy and at first it was supers nice tslking to him but he's starting to be sexual more often where its like everytime i show a little bit of my little side he makes an innduendo and suggests stuff and he still isnt sharing a lot about himself? Like i know he could be shy but how are we supposed to get to know one another? He doesnt ever mention any of his friends by name, and doesnt even have my number saved in his phone even after a while of talking to eachother, he doesnt really seem to want to talk about anything to do with our individual lives outside of the dd/lg even though at first he did it was all very generic and basic. My friend said he might just be self concious but it feels off to me. What do you all think? If you had a little and were talking to them for a while would you avoid mention your personal life all together except in a very generic sense? Like he hasnt even given me his actual name which is super weird, i want to consider him but at the same time im not sure i want to tell him yes to being my Daddy am I overreacting?

[Guest Prat]

Well you've only just begun interacting and there's already communication / compatability issues. I see a couple red flags there and I don't think he'd be good for you.

[osito]

This doesn't seem to be a good situation.

You want to know a person before entering a committed relationship. Like, I'll be completely open with someone before asking them out. They're going to know exactly who I am. They're going to know about my family and friends.

Umm and they'll surely know my name. That's kind of what you give when you introduce yourself to someone >_<

 

Cheekiness aside, this situation seems fishy and potentially harmful.

[TwilightSparklez]

Hiya sweetlittleone21 I'm sorry your in this situation but unfortunately it happens. I agree with everyone there seems to be lots of red flags and this doesn't seem to be a good situation, and the biggest of those is the fact he hasn't given you his real name, that's initial contact 101.

 

Have you talked to him and mentioned there are things you are concerned about and things you need to talk. If he refuses or his answers seem sketchy walk away this situation already seems unsafe as is. I would say if he does agree, have this conversation in a public place and make sure you have a safe call and a friends knows where you are, just a bit of dating 101.

 

And remember there are lots of wonderful loving Daddies and with patience you'll find the right one if this is not the one for you. And we're all here for you to.

[MisterMomo]

Being daddy or mommy says you can trust him and long term says he knows you and care for you ...   I dont know how someone could know he wants to be a daddy if you dont know each others on other levels..  names/interests/life ...   isn't it part of caring ?  You could want a daddy to be there with you and help you with those parts of your life too..  and you could know about him too ...

 

Maybe there are other ways to the DDLG universe that says you dont need to know more about each others... I dunno ... but I prefer intimacy of knowing each other and caring for each others with our whole life ...

[A Cuddly Dom]

I sense a lot of red flags here. If he is being vague about friends, day to day details, and hasn't saved your number to his phone, that would make me suspect that he has something going on that he isn't telling you. It's unlikely that someone would want to commit long-term to such a serious relationship without really getting to know one another properly. Also, the continued sexual pressures he is putting on you would suggest to me that this is more of a kink thing for him. There's nothing wrong with the kink end of things, but it's his responsibility to state that outright and be clear about what kind of CG he wishes to be.

 

You might try to open up a conversation outside of the dynamic to talk about these issues, but if his answers don't ring true, you will have to decide what your next move will be.

 

Remember, just because you're a little doesn't mean you have to surrender your personal power in any way. He isn't your Daddy unless you say so, and a decision like that requires a lot of thought and time to feel out how the relationship is going to function.

 

Best wishes to you.

[Guest Mittens]

In my personal opinion, I feel that you are seeking something more passionate where he isn't being so passionate. It feels like you want him to commit and be lovey dovey and to cuddle and coddle and just put you on his phone, and write your name on things. DON'T GET ME WRONG! I love that stuff, I love when littles are that way and I am worse than a teen reality series. I always put my LG as my phone background but the lock is something different that isn't of a person so no one can see her but me, I make an e-mail with her name in it like myname_loves_hername or myname_and_hername_forever type of thing. I do all those things but that's who i am. However, it things started out nice and slowly got progressively worse, maybe he going through a lot of stress or anxiety and sexual innuendos and things like that are his way of coping. I know when i am stressed and full of anxiety more than my concentration can bear I can get short and seeming like I am mad, but i am not. I am just concentrating on reducing my stress and it takes all my focus so I can't respond normally. I always feel bad after and cry or make it up as much as I can, but I would say... IF YOU LOVE HIM, try talking to him first, see if something is up, ask him all the questions on your mind and heart. IF he responds well, go from there, if he messes up again he is struggling, try offering help, if he doesn't respond well or care at all about it, I would say it is time to leave before your health could be at risk and you be forced or guilt tripped into doing something you dont' want to do just because of obligation or your love for him. If it is one sided it won't ever change. That is my opinion, I hope it helps you, and sorry if it upsets you.

[sweetlittleone21]

Thank you all for responding, i kinda figured there was red flags just sometimes I'm not sure if I'm overreacting to things. After a couple more issues popping up I think I'm going to try to end it all before it gets further though I honestly have no idea on how to go about it we never really solidified things because I wanted to get to know him first but I just am no good at these kinds of things -.- Edited July 18, 2017 by sweetlittleone21

[Guest Mittens]

Thank you all for responding, i kinda figured there was red flags just sometimes I'm not sure if I'm overreacting to things. After a couple more issues popping up I think I'm going to try to end it all before it gets further though I honestly have no idea on how to go about it we never really solidified things because I wanted to get to know him first but I just am no good at these kinds of things -.-

Making sure to tell him that you are interested in a relationship of love, care, and passion, rather than the sexual side is a good way to go. Just be honest, it is difficult, but if you saw this person torture an animal or child, would you hold back your words? If he was on the stand for murder, would you not charge him guilty? Hopefully he gets his act in line and changes but you deserve so much better. I hope it helps, and it is difficult to say sometimes. I know sometimes you wish someone else could do it for you or you could just disappear. I never have done that, and I won't do that to anyone, but everyone feels it at least once at some point.

[Subtleties]

Like others I'm seeing red flags right away.  Sounds like he's only interested in sex, and not building a long lasting nurturing relationship with you.  I'd stop the conversation and keep looking.  Doesn't seem like it would matter much if you have already told him your interest and intentions as he continues getting more sexual in his dialogue with you.  Sad and frustrating that too many people rush to the sexual part of the relationship before trust has been established.