A thousand suns

[DeeDee!!]

Has anyone else noticed that Daddies tend to get very intense very quickly? I've noticed that the last few times I've started talking to a prospective daddy and getting to know them, just chatting and all that, they get caught up in things super quick and start saying things like they love me? Which I would never do after 3 weeks. Of course, I tend to be very reserved about my emotions and even though I do like these men I'm not likely to communicate that.

 

But, back to the original question; has anyone else noticed the phenomena of very intense daddies? Or daddies being prone to catching feelings like the common cold?

[Mikaitaku]

I am not at all prone to that. If I bother to say something it is because I have felt it for months and I mean it. It sounds kind of scary too.

[James.]

They are likely not very serious, or they are new to they dynamic. It's very easy to get caught up in meeting a new person through ddlg or bdsm, simply because of the innate chemistry of being in complementary roles. It's safe to say that if you take a random Daddy and a random little, each will possess a number of unique traits that the other person is looking for. It's very easy to feel that the person you are talking to is "the one," even after only talking for a short time, simply because they possess a lot of traits you're looking for that you don't typically find in most people. That's one reason why you see a lot of quck relationships on here that blow up right away. It's very easy to rush.

 

I can say from personal experience that most littles I've talked to have gotten attached very early in much the same way you described. It's just something that everyone, especially those who are new, needs to watch out for when meeting people in the ddlg community. Take your time to get to know the other person beyond the dynamic. Rushing nearly always ends poorly, even if you are as compatible as you think. In order for a relationship to be healthy, it needs to build slowly over time through mutual trust and understanding of one another.

[potato]

I've had my first and only daddy so far say 'I love you' after THREE DAYS!! I s so shocked and told him to calm down and he *TRIGGER WARNING* hurt himself. He was....very unstable and intense.

[Mintea]

I literally just made a topic about this a few days ago. 
I find it so very fake for daddies to chat it up for a day or two and then feel that's enough time to just throw down some more intense things. 

I get people are looking for legit relationships on here, but I feel like people forget that you don't just jump into one. You really need to get to know someone before you just dive on in. 

[Guest]

Quite a few desperate people on this site. Lmao

[Hastings]

As someone who has a tendency to write long messages and detailed communication, things do progress quickly in my relationships (even in vanilla). But that is because by the 5/6th message I expect to be writing more than six paragraphs per message. With that style, A LOT of communication happens in a short time. If that is the case then I could see things becoming legitimately intense for both sides quickly. 

 

Without significant communication, however, I would be highly suspect of anyone who became intense after any less than two weeks. Even that's pushing it. Sadly, a lot of men try to abuse the potential intensity of the DDlg bond to meet an objective and then move on. Some will become intense early to manipulate guilt later to keep people in an abusive situation. Overall, the people who try to push intensity very quickly are bad news. They are the type who tend to be less respectful of boundaries later on. 

[DarkAvatar]

You've been talking to them for 3 weeks, if they said the love you after a day or two that would be a red flag.

 

It is possible to fall in love online, 3 weeks, depending on how often you talked and how much he knows about you, would enough time for it to happen for some people.

 

If you feel the same way it's ok to communicate it (and maybe set up a Skype meeting to get a better idea of what your both like in person?) but if you think he is going too fast you should let him know.

[mylittlesidewearsblack]

i am not going to say that it isn't possible to fall in love that quickly, but what it likely is is not love, but what the polyam community calls "NRE" or New Relationship Energy. basically, it's that feeling that you get when you are totally smitten by someone - how cute they are, how that little nose thing they do is adorable, how well you get on, all that - and it is a SUPER GOOD feeling! it's chemical, and you can't get any better than that, hahaha. but a lot of people *do* confuse that with "love". 

 

but it doesn't always last. enjoy it, revel in it, but let it ride. a good relationship will still jazz you up in 6 months, 9 months, a year or more. but if it doesn't last, that's ok! you don't need to worry! life is about following your bliss. 

 

but love, real love, is about choice. it's about choosing to include someone in your life, choosing to spend time, choosing to forgive, choosing to work. so a word to those who are excited about their new relationships - enjoy it, but give it time. it's still just a cute lil caterpillar at first, but it can be a beautiful butterfly. 

[Guest ~*~Sachita~*~]

They are likely not very serious, or they are new to they dynamic. It's very easy to get caught up in meeting a new person through ddlg or bdsm, simply because of the innate chemistry of being in complementary roles. It's safe to say that if you take a random Daddy and a random little, each will possess a number of unique traits that the other person is looking for. It's very easy to feel that the person you are talking to is "the one," even after only talking for a short time, simply because they possess a lot of traits you're looking for that you don't typically find in most people. That's one reason why you see a lot of quck relationships on here that blow up right away. It's very easy to rush.

I can say from personal experience that most littles I've talked to have gotten attached very early in much the same way you described. It's just something that everyone, especially those who are new, needs to watch out for when meeting people in the ddlg community. Take your time to get to know the other person beyond the dynamic. Rushing nearly always ends poorly, even if you are as compatible as you think. In order for a relationship to be healthy, it needs to build slowly over time through mutual trust and understanding of one another.

Thank you for explaining this!

[plumflower]

>.> My Daddy and i said i love you in less than three weeks. However Daddy means what he says, he will never say what he doesn't mean. Sometimes, it's really easy for us littles to fall in love with the Daddy that we are talking to and it's really easy for Daddies to fall for us littles too. If you think it's too intense then it's too intense for you There's nothing wrong with that. You take it at your pace. For us, it was good.

[Bjorn]

In my opinion, pace of a relationship is much like the pace of a river. No two natural rivers are exactly the same, and neither are their currents. They can be fast, they can be slow. Strong and mild. But the thing is it isn't forced, it's just the flow... If you feel if you're being forced, that's not good. It creates pressure and stress, then it's no longer natural. It's been changed to suit the desires out the one who created the pressure.

Now that being said, it's okay to state your feelings. It's okay to say "Hey, I think I love you." But It should also be okay for the other to respond "I'm not sure yet", or "I think this is a little fast", or even "I need time to figure this out". All of these can sound bad to the recipient. However it doesn't mean "no", it means "not yet, give me time". If they freak out, walk away for your own sake and theirs. If they ghost on you, he wasn't worth your time. However if they say ok, and wait until you're ready, good on them. But that goes both ways. Good on you for making sure you felt the same way, Good on them for sticking it out and being there. However on the other end, don't wait forever. If they say give me time, and it goes for a long while like months not days...and they haven't made up their mind... talk it out and see what's going on. There might be a hang up you're not aware of. Just my opinion

[DeeDee!!]

i am not going to say that it isn't possible to fall in love that quickly, but what it likely is is not love, but what the polyam community calls "NRE" or New Relationship Energy. basically, it's that feeling that you get when you are totally smitten by someone - how cute they are, how that little nose thing they do is adorable, how well you get on, all that - and it is a SUPER GOOD feeling! it's chemical, and you can't get any better than that, hahaha. but a lot of people *do* confuse that with "love". 

 

but it doesn't always last. enjoy it, revel in it, but let it ride. a good relationship will still jazz you up in 6 months, 9 months, a year or more. but if it doesn't last, that's ok! you don't need to worry! life is about following your bliss. 

 

but love, real love, is about choice. it's about choosing to include someone in your life, choosing to spend time, choosing to forgive, choosing to work. so a word to those who are excited about their new relationships - enjoy it, but give it time. it's still just a cute lil caterpillar at first, but it can be a beautiful butterfly.

 

This is my favorite answer so far! I've never heard the term NRE before but that's super useful, thank you

[osito]

such an insightful post, mylittlesidewearsblack! Thanks!