New Daddy needs advice

[Sithanric]

So I've been dating my girlfriend for a while now and we finally got around to talking about this lifestyle that she craves and needs. She's been holding it away from me thinking I would be turned off by it but after doing a bit of research it sounds both fun and sexy. She of. Is a little and wants me to be her daddy. Only problem. Is I have no idea where to start. We're going to sit down soon and talk. I was wondering if there was a other daddy out there that could give me some advice and or take me under his wing. Edited July 1, 2017 by Sithanric

[Spooky]

Your little is YOUR LITTLE! No two littles are the same and no two CG's are the same!

 

Talk to her about exactly what she wants and needs. 

I suggest starting with this resource, sit down with her and talk to her about what needs she has and how you can help fulfill them!

 

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/12727-a-starting-point-for-rules-rewards-punishments/

Edited July 1, 2017 by Spooky

[Guest Scottist]

I'm happy to help! So first of, you should need be protective. VERY protective. Littles love to feel safe and when Daddy asks when their okay after even something small, most will find that a show of affection. And, ironicly, its the little things that make littles feel the most loved. Asking how she's doing, what she's thinking about, and, of course, always being there for her when she needs someone, though that part shouldn't have to be told. Also, littles love cuddles. So your going to be cuddling a lot.

 

And all littles need rules, of course. When thinking about rules, think of her as a small child. No swearing, a bedtime, and limited access to suagar are all basic rules that all littles need. Rules need to be personalized for the little they are for, so try not to take a pre-made list online and just use that. You can use it as a template, but make sure to make the neccessary changes for your little. No lying, cheating, alchohal or drugs without Daddy's supervison, or limited access to television or other technological devices are other good rules, but again, all rule lists need to be personolized to the little they are for.

 

Now lets talk punishments. But first, what not to do. There are a few that some people use that are actually very damaging to a little. First, taking away her favorite stuffie. That is "little abuse" as I like to call it. Littles see stuffies as living, breathing people and love them to death. Many use them as coping methods to deal with stress and anxiety. So when you take her favorite one away this can really mess her up. Another bad punishment is not talking to her for x amount of time. Not many people use this, but I've see the damage it does. You seem like a nice guy so I wouldn't think you would do this but it still has to be said. This is probably the worse thing you can do a little. Giving her the loving, caring, and protective relationship she needs and then depriving her of it for any amount of time when she could be talking/with you is unnaceptable and cruel. Again, you don't seem like the kind of person to do this, but I feel like it has to be said.

 

Now that thats out of the way, there are many punishments you can use to teach a little she did wrong. No sugar, toys, screen time, or a good spanking are all decent punishments, but every little has their own quirks, and may have certain things that can be used specifically for them as a punishment. My little, for one, hates wearing a collar so I make her wear her collar until she proves shes going to be good when shes bad.

 

I think I ran through the basics, if you need anything else feel free to message me!

[cuppycakes]

Sit down with her and discuss what she wants and needs! That's really all there is to it.

 

If she wants rules and punishments, then go for it! Maybe she needs a strict daddy, maybe she needs one to be more on the loving and nurturing side, maybe she's a brat or maybe she's not. Each relationship is different. Communication communication communication!

 

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/51-general-advice-for-new-daddies/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/5454-lets-discuss-healthy-caregiving/

 

Take a look here, as well as the link that Spooky provided. Don't be afraid to ask if there's something you think you might be doing wrong, or if you're not sure if she likes it or not. Just talk to her!

[PartyAnimal]

Allow me to begin by saying we are all still learning (or at least should be).  I think you are getting solid advice here.  What I say constantly because I believe it is absolutely essential is, "Communicate, Communicate, Communicate."  As you were already told, "no two little are the same....no two CGs are the same."  You are in a good place to learn on this forum.  I know it has helped me tremendously.  The fact that you can admit that you do not know it all is refreshing too.  I find far too many "Daddies" who simply want to be "in charge" and have no willingness to put in the work required to be a good Daddy.  To be a Daddy is work!  To truly know your little takes real time and effort.  It is tremendously easier to live in a normal, average. vanilla relationship, BUT when a trusting little finds a Daddy who can see beyond his own wants and desires and truly seek her best - it is a truly amazing thing!

Stay teachable.  Remember trust as a Daddy is EARNED not demanded.  Be the greatest student of your little.  Listen to others, but discuss everything together.  Be prepared to "fail" at times, but know "failure" is just another opportunity for the two of you to better communicate and further bond.  I wish you both all the best.  

[Lil' Miss Dolly]

Two cents from the other side of the fence:

 

1- Confidence! You obviously care for her, you obviously want to do what's best for her so you need to have confidence that you CAN do what's best for her and show her that.

 

2- The "Daddy Look/Voice"- the bane of Littles everywhere! Sometimes we littles like to act a damn fool! The Daddy scowl can and will stop most (non brat) littles dead in their tracks. Find yours, practice, don't let the power go to your head!

 

3- understand and accept that you're both learning! - this dynamic is one which you should never stop growing and learning not only about your partner but also yourself. Its a constant evolution of self! Make mistakes but learn from every one of them.

 

4- Communication. Its the most vital part of this life. Period. Honesty is a close second. You lose those and you lose everything.

 

5- give your little structure. We need it. We crave it. Schedules, chore charts, rewards and constructive criticism.

 

6- Remember the gift. Your little is giving you her submission and that is a beautiful gift - never take it for granted and never assume you're entitled to it.

 

7- Presents. Lots of Presents.

 

 

Best of luck to you both and welcome to the blanket fort!

[plumflower]

Two cents from the other side of the fence:

 

1- Confidence! You obviously care for her, you obviously want to do what's best for her so you need to have confidence that you CAN do what's best for her and show her that.

 

2- The "Daddy Look/Voice"- the bane of Littles everywhere! Sometimes we littles like to act a damn fool! The Daddy scowl can and will stop most (non brat) littles dead in their tracks. Find yours, practice, don't let the power go to your head!

 

3- understand and accept that you're both learning! - this dynamic is one which you should never stop growing and learning not only about your partner but also yourself. Its a constant evolution of self! Make mistakes but learn from every one of them.

 

4- Communication. Its the most vital part of this life. Period. Honesty is a close second. You lose those and you lose everything.

 

5- give your little structure. We need it. We crave it. Schedules, chore charts, rewards and constructive criticism.

 

6- Remember the gift. Your little is giving you her submission and that is a beautiful gift - never take it for granted and never assume you're entitled to it.

 

7- Presents. Lots of Presents.

 

 

Best of luck to you both and welcome to the blanket fort!

 

All this!!

 

I like to highlight and reinforce a few things: 

 

1. Confidence. Your little is looking up to you for answers and decisions. It's okay to not know what you are doing but always be confident.

 

2. The Daddy look/voice: OMG YUS! This is to keep your little in check. If she's a bratty little this is to pull her back otherwise you will lose her respect. The brat or little needs to know when she has gone to far and we need to know that Daddy is in charge. Sometimes when I cross my lines, my Daddy gives me one look and I freak out. (I'm thinking about it and wanting to hide right now)

 

3. Communication: Your little needs to know. If you don't let her know she will blame herself. Likewise if you don't know how can you fix it?

 

4. Punishment: This one might seem a little weird but it wan't until my Daddy started punishing me that I understood it. Yes, we will cry, we will try to get out of it but explain it to us. I realized that my Daddy shows me that he cares for me when he punishes me. It's as important as the rewards, it a different way of saying, "I care for you and that's why I taking my time to correct these things."

 

5. Rewards: We love being reward even if it's a simple "Good girl." Good girl is the best thing you can ever say to your little.

 

6. Promises. It's important to keep your promises to your little. OMG this is important. If you break it, she will think that it's her fault. That she did something wrong. My previous Daddy broke so many promises and I thought it was me who didn't deserve it.  If you aren't sure you can keep a promise DO NOT SAY "I promise." SAY "I will try my best, baby girl."

Edited July 6, 2017 by plumflower