Do you have to acknowledge ddlg to be in a ddlg relationship

[Jojobabycakes]

I got into a relationship with someone great 5 going on 6 months ago. We started out very awkwardly as we had only talked on messenger prior to meeting. Over time we have been seeing each other more and more (he lives three hours away) and we seem to be developing a ddlg relationship. He calls me baby girl and princess cuddles me baby talks with me and even gives me baths. I never asked for this it just came naturally. The one time i brought up wanting to call him daddy and suggested we try rougher sex he just shut down. He had never heard of ddlg before and as i did my best to describe it to him i could just tell he was getting more and more turned off. After that conversation i have tried coaxing him into spanking etc but...nothing he just shuts down. I love this man and he is very much my daddy (cant call him thar) but he isnt much of a dom. I guess im curious if you have to engage in rough sex to have a ddlg relationship. And if not why do i feel like that is a big thig im missing out on?

[littlecl13]

you definitely don't need to engage in rough sex to be in a ddlg relationship! there are tons of non-sexual littles and daddies. there are also many littles and daddies who are heavily into bdsm. and there's a bunch of people in between!

 

i think you should talk to him about your relationship. it's okay if he isn't comfortable with the label of ddlg or being called daddy. there are lots of other things you could call him (i know there's a post around here somewhere with a buuuunch of name suggestions). and your relationship doesn't need to be labeled as long as you are both comfortable and happy!

 

i also think it might be a good idea to think about why you're wanting rougher sex. is it because you think that's what a ddlg relationship is "supposed" to be like? or is that just what you like sexually? you should talk to your boyfriend about this and see how he is feeling. maybe ask what is holding him back from being more dominant (and it's totally okay if he just says it's not his thing, but i also know some people who have been hesitant because they're afraid of hurting the other person)

 

communication is so important, so that really needs to be your first step!

 

(wow this was long. hope i helped a little bit.)

[Jojobabycakes]

Thanks for the reply i have had him tell me he just doesn't want to hurt me or make me think any differently about him. I tried encouraging him he suffers from anxiety so i think fear of not doing things right has him really stressed out. I can live without rough sex but id rather not because i like the idea of it so much.