Are all daddies mean?

[Little.bear.tori]

My daddy just left me like every daddy I have ever had. Why is it that no daddy wants me? I'm good when I have to be and a brat when I want punishments but I do that in moderation. We were perfectly fine and he left me. He just left me!!

[MoDaddy]

You probably just weeded out another fake daddy. Just move on until you find the right Daddy for you!

[Princess-P]

It sounds like he left rather sudden considering you made a post earlier today about him coming to visit you soon.

 

To be honest it sounds like its for the best he left now rather than after your visit, since you seemed very stresses about being intimate. That would have made things much worse.

 

I'm sure right now it seems like men are mean and all assholes but I assure you they are not. Leaving without an explanation is the worst thing to do. But not all men are like that.

 

It may not have been any thing you did. It may have just been your chemistry being off. Or maybe in this case he's not a nice person. Its hard to say. Reflect on your relationship. Did it move quickly? Were there any signs something was off? Did you feel happy? Fulfilled? Or just glad to not be alone?

 

Take your time, dont look for a new daddy right away. Work on yourself, build some confidence in who you are. If your happy with yourself you won't worry about if a daddy will ever want you, and thats a great feeling.

 

Its OK to be upset, but dont let it get to you too much. Some people take a long time to find a partner. Dont settle for whoever comes along. And dont blame yourself for every disappointment or rejection. Learn from them.

[Guest Mr.Stuffykins]

In my opinion I just feel as if you've encountered a lot of fake daddies that give themselves the title without actually being one. When the feelings are mutual a daddy should never simply abandon a little. Abandonment, pressuring you to do things you arent comfortable with, focus on the sexual aspect etc these are all qualities that a fake daddy would exhibit (Just naming examples) . A true daddy wouldnt ever make you feel this way. A true daddy would make your feelings the priority.

 

If he left then its for the best - as I always says: everything happens for a reason. Stay optimistic in knowing that you will find the perfect daddy for you. He wasn't the one and it was better to know now than later.

Take care frau and I wish you the best.

Edited June 21, 2017 by Stuffykins

[Guest ☽ ᴍᴏɴᴏᴄᴇʀᴏs ☾]

All people are different. It is okay to feel hurt and distrustful of new people when one is abandoned (it happened to me too). But do not close yourself to the possibility of meeting new people, there are wonderful people in this world. But now you should devote time to yourself, heal your heart that is the most important.

[Zenmackie]

He sounds like a fake Daddy to me.  I've said it before and I'll say it again:  A real Daddy will always make his little one's happiness, safety and well-being his absolute #1 priority.

 

And both Daddy and Little have an obligation to communicate with each other.  If you're in a relationship and you're not checking in with each other on a regular basis to see if there are any issues that need to be addressed, then the level of commitment is not very deep.

 

Be patient.  Just as with any other kind of relationship, chances are you'll have to wade through a lot of phonies and wannabes before you find the real thing.

 

I posted the thread below some time ago, and I wish absolutely every Little would read it (and make any would-be Daddy read it as well):

 

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/21396-a-littles-bill-of-rights/

[Ink]

I had some doubts about this guy from your other post. I'm really sorry it hasn't worked out for you.

 

If you've had a string of relationships end this way, how about you discuss with us how you go about seeking new relationships, and how they tend to progress in the early days? Perhaps together we - this community - can work on a new approach for you to take (down the road, not immediately) that could find you a more loving and nurturing caregiver.

[LittleRae]

If it wasn't a fake Daddy, I would say that some personalities just don't click, and lots of people are involved in DDLG in different degrees. For example, some people only do it in rare occasions, and others (more like me) are in LS most of the time. You just have to take your time and find someone who is just as eager about it as you are. I hope this works out for you. 

[Little.bear.tori]

Well we started out as a master/slave relationship. We met over Facebook cuz someone said they were looking for slaves in NC and I'm one state away. So I commented then he left a response saying he was in my state too. So I added him and we started talking. He told me how in real life he would never do something's done in roleplay. And eventually I foun out he was a daddy. He then engaged and said he never wanted to leave me or lose me that he loved me for my heart not my body. He loved me for everything I am. He has been feeling sick recently so I'm hoping that its just that that made him say he wanted to take some time. If not then idk cu I was accepting of all his fetishes ad he accepted mine. We loved eachother

[cuppycakes]

My daddy just left me like every daddy I have ever had. Why is it that no daddy wants me? I'm good when I have to be and a brat when I want punishments but I do that in moderation. We were perfectly fine and he left me. He just left me!!

 

No offence, but I also saw you respond to an ad in the Personals section today, and I don't think that's healthy. I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life, but if you keep rushing into relationships it'll be harder and harder for you to find a good daddy. Today alone you asked for advice about this guy, he broke up with you, and now you're already looking for someone new. That could actually make you an easy target for fake daddies because it seems like you're so vulnerable. Please take your time and don't just look for someone new right away, or it could have bad consequences (like your last relationship, which it also seemed like you rushed into).

 

I'm not trying to offend anyone, I just really think it's in your best interests to wait.

 

(As I'm typing this I see your post that says you loved each other, and now I'm really concerned. Why are you looking for a new daddy already if you loved him??? Why are you looking for a new daddy if you think you'll get back together??? This attitude could really hurt someone and I STRONGLY advise against it! You need time to get over someone, not just find a new guy! Please for the sake of yourself take a step back and think about it from another's perspective.) I'm not angry, or sending hate, I'm just concerned for the well being of yourself and the others involved.

[Little.bear.tori]

I get over them by getting a new guy. I have never been alone. I started dating in sixth grade an slowly I started going from guy to guy until eventually I went to dating online. These guys are easier to keep. And when they leave you move on faster. I don't show my emotions because t is just a way for people to hurt you. They take your emotions and twist them until they hurt you more than any other person could ever hurt you. It's why I don't cry. But because I sit cry I cry in redo ly bad web I do. Also it has led to me either being bipolar or having a personality disorder which eventually led to self harm and over eating. I was Bullied a lot and I was emotiknally and verbally abused. He always got away though

[cuppycakes]

I get over them by getting a new guy. I have never been alone. I started dating in sixth grade an slowly I started going from guy to guy until eventually I went to dating online. These guys are easier to keep. And when they leave you move on faster. I don't show my emotions because t is just a way for people to hurt you. They take your emotions and twist them until they hurt you more than any other person could ever hurt you. It's why I don't cry. But because I sit cry I cry in redo ly bad web I do. Also it has led to me either being bipolar or having a personality disorder which eventually led to self harm and over eating. I was Bullied a lot and I was emotiknally and verbally abused. He always got away though

This is the least healthy way to have relationships. You should be waiting AT LEAST a week in-between relationships. ESPECIALLY since you're not sure if you'll get over this guy or not.

 

I understand getting hurt can be hard, but why even date someone if you're going to keep everything bottled up all the time? What's the point? A partner is supposed to be a best friend, someone you trust unconditionally. ESPECIALLY with ddlg. This honestly just sounds like you're wasting your time and your partner's time.

 

I'm sorry but I 100% disagree on what you're doing, and think it would be better for everyone if you stepped away from dating and tried to discover yourself for a while. Get some help, therapy, a close friend to talk to, maybe medication for your disorder.

[HisuianLilligant]

Definitely not all daddies are like that- my daddy is always super supportive and tries to make me happy even when I try to push him away. He is always nice and makes sure to talk to me 24/7. You'll know when you find the right daddy and he'll never ever leave you

[Guest ☽ ᴍᴏɴᴏᴄᴇʀᴏs ☾]

I think you really need some time alone. Take the time to get to know yourself and what you are looking for in a relationship. Do not just try to fill the void with new people. You do not depend on anyone to be happy. Your partner should be someone to share your happiness with not someone to bring you.

 

And I'm sorry if it sounds hard, I try to put myself in the position of a caregiver, and I really would not want to be with someone who has the capacity to replace me so easily, I would feel really insecure.

Edited June 22, 2017 by ☽ ᴍᴏɴᴏᴄᴇʀᴏs ☾

[cuppycakes]

 

I think you really need some time alone. Take the time to get to know yourself and what you are looking for in a relationship. Do not just try to fill the void with new people. You do not depend on anyone to be happy. Your partner should be someone to share your happiness with not someone to bring you.

 

And I'm sorry if it sounds hard, I try to put myself in the position of a caregiver, and I really would not want to be with someone who has the capacity to replace me so easily, I would feel really insecure.

 

 

Agreed.

 

As a little, I wouldn't want my CG to do this, either! I would be extremely hurt and feel used and unwanted as well.

[Little.bear.tori]

It's just easier that way to moe on and show no pain. If you do you are able to keep yourself from getting as hurt from one relationship. You raise your head tilt your nose up at them and act like your better than them an dot need them in your life. If they had the capacity to leave you then there was no more room left to love you.

[Guest ☽ ᴍᴏɴᴏᴄᴇʀᴏs ☾]

The hard way is sometimes the right one. Nor is it okay if you do not live the pain of a breakup and simply go on to the next relationship, it is not healthy. It does not give you the ability to learn from your mistakes, from loving yourself, and it is not just for other people to be replaced like a pair of socks.

Love people really, take the time to know them deeply and fall in love, not only use them to close a hole.

Edited June 22, 2017 by ☽ ᴍᴏɴᴏᴄᴇʀᴏs ☾

[cuppycakes]

It's just easier that way to moe on and show no pain. If you do you are able to keep yourself from getting as hurt from one relationship. You raise your head tilt your nose up at them and act like your better than them an dot need them in your life. If they had the capacity to leave you then there was no more room left to love you.

 

There's no problem with showing no pain when someone leaves you, but the only reason you show no pain is because you didn't get attached to them in the first place so it literally wasn't painful for you. It is so much stronger to love unconditionally and being hurt by it but not showing pain, instead of loving someone a little bit and not being hurt by it. Obviously you wouldn't show pain with the second one. If you search for a new relationship, I urge you to look for other places other than the ddlg community, as I know many many daddies would be EXTREMELY hurt by the complete lack of trust and effort.

 

I cannot continue this conversation because I'm worried I will become hostile. I will not be responding after this, as it is taking all of my control to remain calm right now. You clearly are not looking at this from any other perspective than your own, and I ask that you please try to put yourself in your partners shoes. Maybe you could see why they break it off with you.

 

Please seek professional help for your disorders, and I hope it changes the way you see relationships.

 

I also want to add that, although this thread is called "are all daddies mean?" I think that in this case you are being the mean one.

[Guest ☽ ᴍᴏɴᴏᴄᴇʀᴏs ☾]

Maybe the reason why they leave you and they do not take you seriously is because in the first place you never take them seriously.

[Little.bear.tori]

No I do get attached. I attach myself to every single person in my life. I fall for people quickly because I hope that this next one will be the one who loves me forever. You guy dot understand me and are only attacking me. I'm sorry I'm not the same as you guys. I'm sorry I'm not the perfect little doll that I'm supposed to be that once I get broken I stay that way until the next person comes and glues me back together. No I get up and grab the broken pieces and go look for the next one myself. I'm right now talking to the daddy who left me. Trying to get him back because I want to marry him still. I don't k ow what bad words are allowed so

 

"Screw you guys, I'm going home."

Eric cartman

[Guest ☽ ᴍᴏɴᴏᴄᴇʀᴏs ☾]

If you still want to marry then fight for it and do not simply look for a way to replace it with another person. Give yourself to the people completely if you want them to surrender to you completely. Relationships must be balanced.

[Little.bear.tori]

He says he still loves me and he acted out because he was feeling sick. I need rebounds just as much as any other girl bu my rebounds become love. So stop being rude to me because im different because how I live my life makes me happy

[Guest ☽ ᴍᴏɴᴏᴄᴇʀᴏs ☾]

I'm not being rude, but you asked for an opinion. And for me it's just not right to go from person to person, I do not think it's healthy for you or your partners. You can not expect to open a debate and expect everyone to give you the reason.

[Little Illy]

I get over them by getting a new guy. I have never been alone. I started dating in sixth grade an slowly I started going from guy to guy until eventually I went to dating online. These guys are easier to keep. And when they leave you move on faster. I don't show my emotions because t is just a way for people to hurt you. They take your emotions and twist them until they hurt you more than any other person could ever hurt you. It's why I don't cry. But because I sit cry I cry in redo ly bad web I do. Also it has led to me either being bipolar or having a personality disorder which eventually led to self harm and over eating. I was Bullied a lot and I was emotiknally and verbally abused. He always got away though

 

 

If I may - I don't think anyone is attacking you. I think they are genuinely worried because that is what we do as a community - we worry about our community members. We see that you work differently than others, but you are also reaching out for support and advise. You can't really be mad when they are giving you advice simply because you don't agree with it. There are a ton of experienced members here who are giving you very good advice. And if it isn't for you, it isn't for you, but it is all coming from a caring place. This is a safe space for you and everyone else. But when we get worried, we try our best to reach out and help. Even if sometimes it comes of a bit strong. That just means we care that much and want to see you safe.

 

Now, if I actually may - I wrote a piece that might actually help you. You've stated that this isn't the way you normally operate, but I recommend giving it a read because 1) it is writing in a clinical fashion, so you wont feel attacked, 2) it might shed some light on what you can do to get that perfect Daddy and 3) it can show you that you're not alone in your pursuit. This is my post - https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/12930-why-we-need-to-be-single/?p=70328 

 

We love our community members and we just want to see everyone safe and happy and secure. <3 

[Guest Mister Tim]

I expressed my thoughts about this in a little poem for you I'd appreciate if you read and think about it a bit.

 

It feels like a blade in my heart

It hurts so much to be torn apart

I cry. I scream!

It's always this same old scheme

 

Tears refuse to roll down my eyes

Why am I not allowed to feel any bliss

Is there always something that has to be amiss?

My feelings always behind a guise.

 

Pain my dear is what makes you feel true love

Sadness is a necessary woe

Not something you can be free of

Not something you can forgo