My Advice to L's Seeking C/g's - A Discussion

[Ink]

A number of months ago my Little One and I were discussing a Little friend of hers who was constantly meeting Daddy's online but regularly being frustrated with their behavior. Either they moved too fast, wanted just sex or would just suddenly stop responding out nowhere. She was getting quite disheartened about it all. Yet when I asked how she was going about finding a Daddy it seemed to be the usual way I see discussed. Post-in or respond-to personal adds, get to chatting and quickly move to instant messaging. It's about that point everything fell apart regularly.

 

My suggestion to her was that early on in the communications with a potential CG, somewhere around the time the relationship moves into instant messaging (and prior to sharing any personal information/pictures) the Little could make a small request. A small gesture of the CG that would mean a lot to the Little. As an example:

 

"It's been lovely speaking with you but I need to go to sleeps shortly. Do you think you could record a short story for me that you've made up for me to go sleep with?"

 

It's not perfect. You may not find Prince Charming right away - but you're no longer the low-hanging-fruit that predators look for. And as a bonus, this open-ended request really gives a caregiver the opportunity to run with the idea and show you their nurturing, caring and/or creative side.

 

I'm of the belief that as caregivers its our responsibility to establish that we are there to nurture and protect and provide for our Littles emotionally before the relationship gets heavy. This act gives the power back to the Little to establish their needs will be met before getting involved and becoming someones submissive. Before putting their heart and sometimes their body in the hands of a stranger in the hope that they've found someone who will still be there the next day.

 

I know this may sound really obvious but I've never heard it recommended. I'd be really interested on hearing stories from people who've tried something similar, or from CG's who either disagree with me or have had a relationship start this way.

[StefanC71_UK]

I have done this with a previous little. Though we had already moved to messaging and were comfortable with each other.

 

There used to be a bedtime routine for her, and one day I knew I wasn't going to be around that night to put her to bed (still long distance)

 

I recorded me reading Little Miss Stubborn and the unicorn. She enjoyed it.

 

There is an app called couple that allows voice recordings but you have to send immediately. You can't save it. It's a great app for ldr btw. Including thumb kiss.

 

Of course you can use email if she is prepared to give that out.

[Guest HisSmittenKittenBliss]

I'm deeply appreciating the awareness, thoughtfulness, and care that I'm reading here. Wonderful, and well done, gentlemen.

[Mewow]

Thank you, one for caring about others including your little's friend, but also for the idea

[Ink]

I recorded me reading Little Miss Stubborn and the unicorn. She enjoyed it.

 

There is an app called couple that allows voice recordings but you have to send immediately. You can't save it. It's a great app for ldr btw. Including thumb kiss.

 

Stefan that's a really wonderful memory! It's not too dis-similar to mine actually. We hadn't moved on to voice/video chat yet, however we were instant messaging each-other like crazy. I found a picture book from my childhood and sent her photos of the pictures whilst narrating the story. She loved it and surprised me with an audio recording of her saying thank you and then passing out. It's the cutest thing ever and I still listen to it

 

Couple is a fantastic app and cant praise it enough. I do wish they'd bring out more stickers though. We abuse the heck out of the ones that are currently available.

 

I'm deeply appreciating the awareness, thoughtfulness, and care that I'm reading here. Wonderful, and well done, gentlemen.

 

There seems to be a lot of really genuine caregivers on this site. I really hope to hear experiences from more of them Thank you for saying so.

 

 

Thank you, one for caring about others including your little's friend, but also for the idea

 

You are most certainly welcome. Was a bit hesitant with the post so glad people are appreciating it.

[Daddy_Shaw]

"It's been lovely speaking with you but I need to go to sleeps shortly. Do you think you could record a short story for me that you've made up for me to go sleep with?"

 

That's a really great piece of advice. I was picturing a little saying that to me and I know my eyes would light up at the prospect. Very sound advice for your friend. 

[Guest ☽ ᴍᴏɴᴏᴄᴇʀᴏs ☾]

I do a simple test. Sometimes caregivers with those who start to talk usually ask me for photos, or my social networks, I have a rule for everyone not to give them so easily, and I tell them that they will have to be patient or if they want to talk to me the inbox of the forum is what makes me feel more comfortable in the beginning. Well, all the people I told did not seem to like them because they did not talk to me again.

[Ink]

I do a simple test. Sometimes caregivers with those who start to talk usually ask me for photos, or my social networks, I have a rule for everyone not to give them so easily, and I tell them that they will have to be patient or if they want to talk to me the inbox of the forum is what makes me feel more comfortable in the beginning. ...

 

Monoceros I think this is a fantastic approach. If they aren't willing to take the time to get to know you in a safe environment first, then how can you be sure that they will take the time to meet your emotional needs further down the track?

 

... Well, all the people I told did not seem to like them because they did not talk to me again.

 

If they can't react politely to your perfectly reasonable request for a safe, comfortable environment then they don't deserve your heart or time.

[jaredstone363]

Wow, lots of great ideas and suggestions in this post. Nicely done!