What if your daddy is bad at being a daddy?

[Baby Brookie]

I started dating my daddy before I realized that I was a little. So as I started acting more and more like a little, he came along with me and became a daddy. We've discussed it and he likes it, I never forced him to be my daddy. I love him to death and he's a great boyfriend but not a great daddy.

We don't live together but we see each other often. But I'm usually in little space at night so I'll text him and ask him to treat me little. Usually he'll ask me something with a cute nickname like "What does my princess want?" and I answer him in little space but then he kind of returns back to normal conversation despite my little talk and calling him daddy.

I've talked to him about it before and he says he'll try harder but I never see him make an attempt. I just want him to understand that this isn't a hobby, it's kind of a lifestyle. When I'm in little space I feel happy and safe and when he ignores it, I get sad and come out of little space.

 

Do you guys have any advice?

[Guest]

The only thing you really can do is voice your opinion, tell him how you feel and see how he reacts. Not everyone can adjust to dynamic as quickly as others. Best case scenario is he just needs time 

[Guest Prat]

He's never been a Daddy before, give him time. He said he'll try harder but has he actually done anything to improve? It would help if he does some research about it.

[Littlest_Bee]

Maybe at night and over text messages isn't the best for trying the dynamic in your case? The most important thing is that you keep communicating. You both love each other and you're exploring this together. It can be hard and mistakes happen but once you found a balance it's going to be amazing.

 

Wish you all the best!

[LittleRae]

When it comes to something like this, it's a weird kind of habit to pick up, especially for Mommies and Daddies, I think. My husband, when we first started LS, he was kind of awkward about it. But when you work on it, you find out what each other likes about it, and it works out. You just have to let him learn how to do it. It takes patience and practice~!

[*Firefly*]

definitley keep bringing it up until the results show

[Hot loving dom]

As with any relationship, communication is key. It shouldn't be a case of keeping bringing it up. Sit down with him and calmly explain.

 

How his differs to other relationships is that the daddy should either be experienced or at least want to learn. I know everyone has to start somewhere but how could someone guide a little if they don't listen to them or know what to do. He should be trying.

 

There are trainers on here for littles and daddies

[Spooky]

"Bad Daddy" is a terrible choice of words. If you are not communicating what you are looking for, the fault cannot be on him. "Unexperienced" may be a more correct and fitting choice of words since this is his first DDLG relationship.

The fact that he is trying at all should tell you how much he really cares about you.
I agree with the above posts, talk to him and work it out. 

Edited June 20, 2017 by Spooky

[SkunkPrincess]

Maybe ask him if he could research more about BDSM and DDLG. When my Daddy wasn't so good at being a daddy, iv'e asked him if he could look up on Pinterest those little cute stories to read so he'll kinda get what it is. He did and well, after that he improved a lot.

[Baby Brookie]

Thank you guys. I think that I need to stop assuming he can read my mind and try to explain how I feel a little better.

[baby__boo]

I started dating my daddy before I realized that I was a little. So as I started acting more and more like a little, he came along with me and became a daddy. We've discussed it and he likes it, I never forced him to be my daddy. I love him to death and he's a great boyfriend but not a great daddy.

We don't live together but we see each other often. But I'm usually in little space at night so I'll text him and ask him to treat me little. Usually he'll ask me something with a cute nickname like "What does my princess want?" and I answer him in little space but then he kind of returns back to normal conversation despite my little talk and calling him daddy.

I've talked to him about it before and he says he'll try harder but I never see him make an attempt. I just want him to understand that this isn't a hobby, it's kind of a lifestyle. When I'm in little space I feel happy and safe and when he ignores it, I get sad and come out of little space.

 

Do you guys have any advice?

the dude that i'm talking to now does that and i call him daddy even though we just like each other. tbh if his not giving you what you need and his not trying when he said he would just leave because being a little is a lifestyle not something you do when you get bored.

[Baby Brookie]

the dude that i'm talking to now does that and i call him daddy even though we just like each other. tbh if his not giving you what you need and his not trying when he said he would just leave because being a little is a lifestyle not something you do when you get bored.

I've been dating him for two years and it's not something that I would break up with him over. If he's not interested in being a daddy, that's okay but I need him to tell me. He's too good to me as a person to break up with him over something that he's just not interested in. I'm going to give him an ultimatum about being a daddy.

[baby__boo]

I've been dating him for two years and it's not something that I would break up with him over. If he's not interested in being a daddy, that's okay but I need him to tell me. He's too good to me as a person to break up with him over something that he's just not interested in. I'm going to give him an ultimatum about being a daddy.

oh okay sorry i didnt know you had been dating him for that long.. and thats true if his not interested but make sure he tells you straight up that his not chill with being a daddy.

[TheGiftedStars]

I have a similar situation. Sometimes I think he can't really respond like how I think a Daddy would respond. It's his first time at it too, so I can't expect much lol. And I've been dating him for 2 years as well!

[Littlest_Bee]

It can be a very scary thing to take control. Even if you want to in theory and have done it in fantasies. Even if you know that the other person really is the one in control because everything has to stop when they say the word or give the sign.

 

That's why communication is sooo important.

 

I hope things work out for you. But remember that this can be quite an adjustment to make. Good luck and best wishes.

[Baby Brookie]

I have a similar situation. Sometimes I think he can't really respond like how I think a Daddy would respond. It's his first time at it too, so I can't expect much lol. And I've been dating him for 2 years as well!

Wow that is really similar!! It's just frustrating because I'm sure in his mind that he's not doing anything wrong but it's just not what I want.

[Baby Brookie]

oh okay sorry i didnt know you had been dating him for that long.. and thats true if his not interested but make sure he tells you straight up that his not chill with being a daddy.

That's alright, I understand

[Baby Brookie]

It can be a very scary thing to take control. Even if you want to in theory and have done it in fantasies. Even if you know that the other person really is the one in control because everything has to stop when they say the word or give the sign.

 

That's why communication is sooo important.

 

I hope things work out for you. But remember that this can be quite an adjustment to make. Good luck and best wishes.

Thank you, I really appreciate your advice

[Littlest_Bee]

You're welcome.

[DarkAvatar]

He is new and it's probably just lack of knowledge.

 

Get him to read up on ddlg, how to be a good Daddy, how to be a good Dom etc.

 

There's a great hashtag on Tumblr, "ddlg guide". Lots of good posts under it.

 

Also you could try telling him how you would like to be treated in little space.