Unsure and Unloading...

[CraftyFaeriePrincess]

So... I'm having an internal conflict.

 

I love being in my little space, I love being little.... but I'm having a hard time staying in it when my daddy is home... let me explain.

 

Daddy has never had a relationship like ours before. He's had very vanilla and I've had very... lots of flavors. I'm bringing new things for him to try and he seems to have taken to all of them and likes them. The newest thing has been, well, this. DDLG. I brought it up right before he left for a big job, he travels for work. And all throughout the job we texted and talked and Skyped and he was very very happy with being daddy and me calling him daddy. I was in little space all the time and I hadn't felt so free in so long. I couldn't wait for him to come home so we could be like this in person!

I was wrong... he said been home for 3 weeks.... he only acts like daddy during sex... it's nothing at all like when he was gone. I've given him lots and lots of opportunities to engage my little space with me but he just doesn't seem to "get it" ... there's no rules enforced, there's no fun games.... there's nothing at all like he said that he wanted... I've even told him flat out that I was in little space and started coloring and looking up at him and he just said I was adorable and went back to watching tv...

 

I don't know what to do. I guess I got too excited and let myself get too far into being so comfortable in my little space... I know I should just talk to him about why he's not acting like he was and why things aren't like he said he wanted... I asked him many times if he wanted me to dial it back and was it all too much and I asked him to be honest with me because I didn't want to push him too far. He told me he loved it and he couldn't wait to get home so he could be with me when I'm feeling little... but it's nothing like he said.... and I'm upset about it, but I feel like it's my fault for getting to excited.

 

What should I do... should I just suppress my little side for awhile? I love daddy dearly, it's not a deal breaker for our relationship by any means. I'm just... disappointed and I feel a little let down and a little mad that he lied and a little guilty because I know he didn't lie on purpose....

[cuppycakes]

I think you should sit down with him and tell him specifically everything in this post. It sounds like he may just be very dense and doesn't quite understand.

 I've given him lots and lots of opportunities to engage my little space with me but he just doesn't seem to "get it" ...

There's no shame in telling him right out "I want you to be my daddy outside of sex" or "I really want rules and punishments" or even "I feel like you're not following through on the promises you made to me when you were away". 

 

I know I should just talk to him about why he's not acting like he was and why things aren't like he said he wanted...

Yeah! Do that! If he's really not getting what you want, you should 100% ask this! You just gave your own advice haha. There can only be good to come out of this conversation. Worst case scenario, he tells you to dial down your littlespace, but you were even going to do that before talking to him! Best case scenario, he apologizes and you two discuss exactly what you want and make a change for the better!

 

And another thing: stop blaming yourself!! It's not your fault, and you shouldn't feel bad for getting excited about something!

[xMoonBeam]

Communication is key. Tell him what you want and need, how you feel about the situation. Perhaps try to find time with him to sit down a moment and talk about it.

[CraftyFaeriePrincess]

Thank you both I know what I SHOULD do... it's just a matter of actually summoning up the courage to do it. I'm quite timid when asking for things, regardless of what it is. And he is wonderful, honestly he is, I think he's just been so caught up in playing catch up with everything else that this aspect of our life has justness kind of fallen to the back burner. Thank you sometimes I just need some reassurance.

[PartyAnimal]

As the guy who began in a very similar situation of being very vanilla and my amazing lady being "more flavorful"... I offer this advice: meet with him in Big Space. Openly, calmly,and honestly talk through everything. Make sure you explain your expectations and listen to his expectations. When guys are not confident in an area that tend to shrink away from it. If this aspect is all new to him, it would not be surprising to me that when it comes to real life he's hesitant. If after talking to him, if he is still open to being in a Dd/lg relationship, my advice would be encourage everything he does right. There is nothing that makes me more happy than knowing I please my baby girl by providing her the caring Daddy she needs. At times I even get in trouble for going way overboard with stuff that she encouraged me in because I so love making her happy. He will be the same way. Encourage, encourage, encourage! He sounds like a great guy. I'm confident you two can work this out. I wish you all the best.

[Ink]

If you have previously brought other kink things to the relationship then he needs to be told how this is different. It sounds like you are settling on the idea of DDLG being where you belong but if you've had a long string of kink or alternative lifestyles that you moved between with him then he may not really understand the level of commitment you're asking of him this time around.

 

It sounds like he's a busy guy and may be hard to pin down to seriously talk about this. Could you ask him to go on a 'Little Date' with you, where you can plan in advance the types of activities you want to do together. Then afterwards you can tell him all the things you did (or perhaps didn't) like about the day, what you'd like to experience regularly, whats a really, really special Little reward for you - that sort of thing. If communicating with him directly isn't getting there but it sounds like he's on board then showing him may just make all the difference!