MDLB, MDLG, DDLB

[submissiveboyjimmy]

I don't want to come off like I'm complaining, which is hard for me sometimes, I wish there was more MDLB acceptance, not only for me but also MDLG, and DDLB.  This lifestyle already seems niche and to make matters worst everything still seems either hyper masculine and hyper feminine either through conditioning or biologically.  It makes it hard to hold out for the right person when I feel like no one is ever looking for me or that who I am is not acceptable.  Be myself but doing so I'll most likely be alone forever.  I know this is a bad way to look at things and I do get short positive spikes but this is the way things appear to be.  Not to say reality could very very different from the way I'm interpreting it, but my mind makes it real because of my experiences and observations.  It's very discouraging and sad.

 

I've read a ton, worked on myself, grown a lot, I still have more to work on, but it seems like it's all passing by and I'll never find that person.  I keep thinking of reasons why, I'm to old, submissive guys aren't accepted, depression, anxiety, maybe I'm holding out for too perfect of a person and my expectations are too high. 

 

I use logic to sort through options, the worst is giving up, close second is pretending to be someone I'm not, condition myself to be what society expects of me which is to be dominate, or keep improving myself and just wait which doesn't seem to yield many results.

 

/end rant

Edited June 14, 2017 by submissiveboyjimmy

[HisuianLilligant]

I always thought that being myself would have me be alone forever and I found my daddy when I wasn't really even searching for one and now I'm in a wonderful DDLB relationship so I think there's definitely hope for you I also deal with depression and anxiety issues as well and had high expectations but I ended up with the most perfect daddy I could imagine

[xBabydollx]

I completely understand what you're saying, but u have to

keep being patient and be true to yourself. D/s thrive on

trust and u can't have trust if u are lying to ur self and ur

partner. So be who u are and remind ur self that there 

are def ppl out there looking for someone just like u.

Reality is everyone will never fit a certain mold/ideal,

and there will always be ppl looking for something slightly

diff, even if u don't notice them ur self right away. They

exist and there may be more of them around than u think,

and even if not, they are somewhere. That is guaranteed.

Just got to wait

[Guest qtpie]

ddlg lifestyle is based in love and acceptance of everyone, as it is a kink not understood by the majority of the population and frowned upon in many ways, so it would be silly (for most people) to discriminate as we are all in some way discriminated too. Imho it's not that there is not acceptance of mdlg, ddlb and mdlb, it's that the demographics for these kinds of relationships aren't just that usual as you need to find a person that IS into the kink AND of the correspondant sexuality. 

 

I understand your feelings, I've had problems with it too and it feels awful to feel alone and thinking you're never going to find your caregiver. But don't worry, there always is someone, even if it takes long to find...

[HisuianLilligant]

I've felt this way before- I pretty much gave up on finding a Daddy who would accept me for who I am after 1-2 years of searching but I ended up with the best Daddy I could possibly hope for(without looking) and am in a wonderful ddlb relationship

[Littlest_Bee]

I sometimes feel bad because I think my guardian was imagining a little/middle boy before meeting me. So I wonder - Am I good enough? Am I too little, too much work? Will this end if somehow the perfect little boy comes along? (We're both bi.)

I know rationally that I shouldn't worry because we fell in love with each other but sometimes I'm just insecure.

 

I was contacted in the past by someone for roleplay who wanted to know if I would mind playing a boy for her because she just didn't like girls as much. So believe me despite my limited experience, there are people out there for you. Maybe some aren't actively looking right now but they'll know when they get to know you.

 

I think the scariest thing is how easily you could miss someone because we usually keep our kinks secret. As written by Shel Silverstein in "Masks":

She had blue skin

And so did he.

He kept it hid

And so did she.

They searched for blue

Their whole life through.

Then passed right by —

And never knew.