Feeling like an inadequate Little....

[Guest MCLOveDOlly]

Being very new to this forum I wasn't sure whether I should begin posting right away. But here it goes....I am a very capable, grown, independent woman, divorced with a family of my own. The curiosity to research then submerge into the DDlg lifestyle has only become stronger and stronger. I am not pretending to know it all or even be close. I have known my Daddy for years, we have been an online couple, a rl couple and best friends. I always felt he was Daddy material, being very much on the Dominant side yet with a teaching, caring spirit. After a long period of learning and researching time we've decided to take that step, actually becoming "contractual". But since we have it seems it's been nothing but rules, reprimanding and correction, coaching and teaching. I realize that is part of it and that he is looking out for my best interests, however I feel insecurity and jealousy prod him to do so. It has become almost difficult to deal in, not easy and flowing as it once was. Again, I am not saying I am perfect by any means, I know a Daddy has needs too. But it becomes difficult to fulfill them when I can't slip into Little mode and just be me without tons of scolding and coaching. He's very well spoken and articulate. A very intelligent man. But I have always been so as well in "adult" space. Once I switch to Little time it seems he feels the need to berate me with every rule and failure. It's becoming damaging and makes me not want to be in Little mode. That was my escape, coping mech as well as even just because I adored it. Am I being a brat? He seems to feel so....thank you for reading. I apologize if my rant is all over the place, I'm just very confused. 

[DMDaddy]

I don't exactly have all the info, but maybe you should try to have an adult mode talk with him? Tell him you feel inadequate and that he's been correcting you too much? Maybe your daddy is super strict, or perhaps he's not sure exactly how to treat you and is being too strict because he doesn't know another way to be? Just communicate is my advice, have a conversation as adults to determine behavior as Little and Daddy. Hope this helps a bit

[Guest blumonkey]

rules are for bettering the little, not for lack of trust or making the daddy less insecure/jealous. get rid of rules which are there to keep a tight leash on you. does this describe any of your rules?

 

-talking to others without permission

-always letting him know where you are

-etc

 

with my last little, I didn't have rules that involved her talking to others, hanging out with others, nor anything to do with family - in fact, one rule was all rules were suspended while she visiting family or had family visit her. rules a daddy should have, not rules written by an ugly green-eyed monster

[jaredstone363]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. It doesn't sound like your being a brat. You're bothered with something and should never feel like that when something is bothering you. Have you tried sitting down and talking with him in big space? Communication is key in any relationship, more so in a ddlg relationship. Communication needs to start at the first sign of something bothering you. Ask him to take a couple steps back with the rules and reprimands. Maybe start over and make a new set of rules that you both agree too. 

[PartyAnimal]

I love this post and find both the question and the responses helpful to me as a fairly new Daddy.  I appreciate all of you for sharing.  It is exactly stuff like this that makes this forum so helpful to people like me.