Ddlg to vanilla

[KiggysDaddy]

So recently my little and I went through a very hard time in our relationship. All of a sudden she doesn't like punishments, rules, dress code, or most of the things we used to love doing together. Now I'm okay with this, but I find the change from seriously BDSM to more vanilla, very difficult. It also makes me feel like I did something wrong, when she's assured me its just that she changed what she likes. She has also been spending a lot less time with me, so I guess I'm just having trouble coping. Any advice on changing from full Bdsm to a more vanilla side of ddlg? I feel like I'm taking all these changes to mean that she doesn't like me anymore, when it could very well be that she isn't into ddlg as much anymore since I was her first Daddy.

[softangel]

you're going to have to respect her choice and you'll have to do whatever makes you feel happy. if you really love her then stay with her but if you feel like you need more than what you're getting right now and you find yourself losing interest in her then it may be best to break things off. but i'm saying this not knowing how the relationship really is between you two! you know how things are and do whatever feels right. you should probably talk about it with her either way to get insurance from her and how she's feeling.

[cuppycakes]

Is there a reason she's spending less time with you? I would say that it would be much easier for you to transition back to vanilla if you two were together more.

 

If you're still worried about her feelings towards you, then I agree with softangel, you should talk it out and make sure you're both on the same page; make sure you both want the same thing.

[PartyAnimal]

I think you've received very good advice here.  Communication, communication, communication - the key to basically any decent relationship.  Find a setting/scenario that is meaningful to her and helps her feel safe and free to talk openly.  Then listen, a lot!  Ask specific, thought out, open ended questions until you both know where you stand.  Then both of you can evaluate what you have and determine what your next course of action is for your relationship.  I wish you all the best in whatever that looks like.

[Guest Stainedblack]

Having gone through this myself. Talk about it, if feelings have changed or someone isn't getting what they need it's time to part ways. Don't settle for something where you won't be happy.

[Guest littleloveslars]

I go through bouts of this. Sometimes life has a way of catching up to me, especially lately. My Daddy injured his back and hasnt been able to help me with things around the house which has given me a lot of responsibility, plus other family stuff going on, and being pregnant. Its just really hard to feel little when so many things rest on my shoulders. I have gone entire months without being or feeling little and have even asked to completely stop the ddlg dynamic before. I think for some personalities thats normal. Daddy hates the idea of not being in a ddlg dynamic. But if i am too stressed and overstimulated to get into little space, he doesnt try to force it. Give her patience because she may not be ready to share her burdens with you. And try to help her as much as you can. Easing her stress may be the key to helping her open up about it if she has a lot going on. Best of luck!