Disappearing after a day or two

[Esmizurov]

Am i the only one that has potential littles just stop talking after a day, even if it looks promising? Its getting kinda disheartening and i kinda expect it. But that doesnt mean i stop trying, dont get me wrong. I definitely am trying. But like, it is getting harder to try. Sorry for kinda dumping it all here :/

[tayiie]

nope, I have over 50 conversations where daddies just stopped talking to me for no reason. Some take a day, others take a week. But I have never talked with anyone from this site longer than a week. With other words, its probably common on both sides.

[Esmizurov]

Ive even talked to littles who have had the same problem as you Tayiie. And they always dissapear. Its kinda just. Meh

[tayiie]

Yea. It is. What i hate the most is that I get my hopes up, then i get dumped. Then i get my hopes up, then i get dumped. Then i sometimes just dont give a shit when someone new talks to me and i can seem a bit bitchy qhen in reality ive just been abandoned too many times.

 

I try to be happy when i talk with others, but some days i just wanna say "fuck y'all". But like you, im not going to give up. Somewhere out there is the guy for me

[Nel-Chan]

My,problem is every guy minus 2, that has talked to,me, almost immediately wants me to be on Kik with them, a lot pushbit only after 1-2 exchanges. Several have friended me, I send a hello or thry send me something and after I respond...POOF gone. Then I have my problem of being Hypersexual so certain things ppl say set me off and I lose focus of the main reason Im,on here...realize what happened and cut ties because Im not just looking for sex.

 

Soooo,it's a never ending struggle of peepl wanting a easy hookup and ppl just not talking/stop talking.

[tayiie]

Yes! That fucking kik thing!!!! I hate it! KIK is the worst messaging app ever. It doesnt send me notifications and it deletes the messages sometimes the users too from my log!!! And people just stop talking there too "its easier to talk" no ur a lazy person who isnt really intrested

[Nel-Chan]

*Nods*

 

It def seems to be a lazy and them wanting something easy. I keep trying to move forward but it gets tough

[Esmizurov]

Mhmmm, gotta stay positive right? I will admit i do have kik. But i do get to know the person for a while before anything else

[Raphael]

"if you're initiating all the texts in the relationship, the recipient just isn't that into you; if you're not getting any texts back, the recipient isn't into you at all."

 

That pretty much sums up the state of online friendships/dating nowadays.

Be it in here or in Kik or other IM apps, the majority of your chatting partners will simply ghost on you, some will reply only when you text to them, and a tiny minority will really be engaged in meaningful conversation.

 

There's no easy way to deal with ghosting or uninterested chatters. You either accept the facts and move on or you get distressed over something you don't have much control over.

 

And being honest pretty much all of us are guilty of the same sin to one degree or another... what is the saying? "those who are free of sin..."  So let's try our best to not do the very same thing we are so frustrated about.

Edited June 5, 2017 by Raphael

[Kara]

"if you're initiating all the texts in the relationship, the recipient just isn't that into you; if you're not getting any texts back, the recipient isn't into you at all."

 

That pretty much sums up the state of online friendships/dating nowadays.

Be it in here or in Kik or other IM apps, the majority of your chatting partners will simply ghost on you, some will reply only when you text to them, and a tiny minority will really be engaged in meaningful conversation.

 

There's no easy way to deal with ghosting or uninterested chatters. You either accept the facts and move on or you get distressed over something you don't have much control over.

 

And being honest pretty much all of us are guilty of the same sin to one degree or another... what is the saying? "those who are free of sin..."  So let's try our best to not do the very same thing we are so frustrated about.

But sometime and I mean in only a few cases those people really are very busy it's not that they don't want to talk to you time just flies by... or am I wrong about that too?  And I'm sorry in advance I don't normally respond to something for caregivers but I saw this one come up... trying not to intrude

Edited June 5, 2017 by Kara

[Guest peachikitten]

Yeah. I have had a few possible daddies talk to me and then immediately want nudes and stuff. If I decline they stop talking. It's hard to find a daddy irl and seems difficult to find them online too. It's a never ending struggle. ;-;

[Guest Princessaj]

Been there...never done that.

 

I have been ghosted even before there was the internet or kik.

 

Ghosting is rude and they are insecure. 

 

As for insecurity, its a case of them dropping you before you can drop them. They are insecure and don't know their value or yours. Don't ask people to appreciate you if they don't know how. It is not your job to teach them, leave them as they are and leave them alone. Don't give them free rent in your head.

 

Here are some of the tactics I use when meeting someone new....

 

1. I make a list of questions, that by their answers, will tell me if I want to continue to talk to them even if it doesn't happen. I stick to my list and PAY ATTENTION. I never get off the phone saying "well that was a waste of time." It is my time, and I use it wisely.

 

Learn the art of conversation so that they don't feel like they are being interrogated  Keep it light and keep it moving. 

 

2. Set an amount of time that the call will last. Test your list of questions on someone. Even with chit chat in between, a list of 5 questions will take you about 15 minutes to get through.

 

3.Even if the call is going really well, "have an exit" planned. Either tell them before that you have an appointment to go to or something that will let them know that this is the time they get and if they are interested, use it wisely. Leave them wanting more.

 

4. After every call/interview, I upfront never end the call without making a decision. If the answers to my questions tell me this person is not for me. I TELL THEM! I thank them for their time and wish them the very best in their search. End of.

 

If you want to talk again, say so. Leave the door open with a cheerful invitation.

 

Yes, it is a numbers game. The search requires talking to a lot of people.

 

Has it ever dawned on you that no one is ever too busy if they want something.

 

There is no excuse for anyone to ghost. Value yourself.

 

Hugs

[PartyAnimal]

Relationships of any depth require work.  The reality is, MOST of the people we talk to are not going to be a good fit for us.  I agree with peachkitten (but from the opposite perspective) "It IS hard to find a daddy (or in my case, a little) irl and seems difficult to find them online too."  But difficulty is not a bad thing.  When something is worked for, it is really treasured once found.  Develop a list of conversation provoking questions - Questions that cannot be answered with a quick yes or no.  Be more concerned with creating a conversation before creating a friendship, and then a friendship before creating a relationship.  The right Daddy or little for you is out there. Keep you heads up, good people.    ~One optimistic Daddy

 

And big respect for Princessaj for her great post that she finished right before mine.  Well said.

Edited June 5, 2017 by DPsEverWolf

[Nel-Chan]

Relationships of any depth require work.  The reality is, MOST of the people we talk to are not going to be a good fit for us.  I agree with peachkitten (but from the opposite perspective) "It IS hard to find a daddy (or in my case, a little) irl and seems difficult to find them online too."  But difficulty is not a bad thing.  When something is worked for, it is really treasured once found.  Develop a list of conversation provoking questions - Questions that cannot be answered with a quick yes or no.  Be more concerned with creating a conversation before creating a friendship, and then a friendship before creating a relationship.  The right Daddy or little for you is out there. Keep you heads up, good people.    ~One optimistic Daddy

 

And big respect for Princessaj for her great post that she finished right before mine.  Well said.

 

 

Things are appreciated when you do find someone special, but I'm find in my own personal experiences that my mental roadblocks make it hard for me to see any positivity in having people just walk over you.  It's also when I let my guard down and feel secure when I've been wiff someone (regular relationships) that I find that's when I get hurt the most.  I am tired of people using me in my life but  my self-esteem and real need of having to have someone...cripples me.

Edited June 5, 2017 by Nel-Chan

[Ami29]

I agree with the comment that some actually ask for nudes after like 2 mins and when you say no, they disappear..I say goodbye with a smile..but when someone who's been sweet disappears on you that's when the "what if "ideas start invading your head..fear of rejection and insecurities are born..but let's keep in mind that someone who is interested in the real you and sees a potential thing with you ..would never drop you or disappear. I know for sure I would never settle for less just because of few people that couldn't handle my awesomeness for few minutes..lol..jk

Just believe there is the right daddy or the perfect little for each one of us,just around the corner (not sure which one exactly)waiting to jump out and scare the living hotdogs out of us and love us to pieces..hugs

[Atticus]

There are definitely a lot of creeps out there who will leave as soon as they realize you're not a sex-crazed voyeur. I've made some lasting friendships on here though. As a rule, if you want to keep conversations going, ask questions. If they ask you a question, answer, and then you ask one. If you just directly answer a question and say nothing else, it gives the person the impression you don't want to talk to them. The upshot of asking questions, is you get to know the person at the same time.

 

I will say though: There's legitimacy to the site's messaging system being a pain, especially now that the chat room doesn't have a good PM system (currently it doesn't have one at all AFAIK).

 

The site doesn't display any notifications unless I refresh the page, so my only option, other than nonstop browsing the forums while I'm expecting a reply, is to sit there and refresh over and over. Combine this with the fact that most conversations never get past "Hi" and it's easy to see why people just want to jump onto a different messaging system right away.

 

I created a KiK specifically for DDLG, but honestly, it's one of the worst chat programs, so I can sympathize with the folks who've complained about it in this thread. I've never had it lose messages or anything, but the fact that it's only on mobile makes it pretty frustrating, since I browse the site on my laptop, not my phone. There have been decent multiplatform chat programs since smart phones came out. Why people don't use them, I honestly can't figure out.

[tayiie]

Yes, the sites notifications suck. However i have made it so whenever i get a new message i will get an email, and that email gets shown on my screen. So then i know faster if someone messaged me so when people say they dont get notifications i think "no you just havent tried all options yet"

[PartyAnimal]

There was a line in the Disney cartoon version of Robin Hood in which Robin quotes a Middle English saying from around 1545, "Faint heart never won fair lady."  (Youtube clip:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3Ge3pcgEgc ) Relationships are not for the timid, this is especially true for the Daddies out there.  None of us will find what we are looking for if we continually get frustrated and turn inwardly.

 

I agree with princess ami that we should, "Just believe there is the right daddy or the perfect little for each one of us,just around the corner (not sure which one exactly)waiting to jump out and scare the living hotdogs out of us and love us to pieces..hugs"