Dumb things 1st time Daddies do.

[Guest JoeKarr]

Hey guys, it's me again.  I'm looking to do another collection of experiences, but this time it's in the vein of First Timer's Foibles.

 

I'm looking for CareGivers' stories of their first attempts to be a CareGive and how they went wrong.  I'd like these to be from CareGivers, but if Littles have gotten permission from their CareGivers to tell their story then that would be fine.

 

Now, as usual...the ground rules:

 

They should be real stories.  Things that have personally happened to you.

 

This is also not a "How to spot a 'Fake Daddy'" slam book.  These should be stories of CareGivers trying to be good ones, but making mistakes...because you know...we're human.

 

As before, nothing degrading or hateful.

 

And above all else, have fun with this.  See how far you've gotten as a CareGiver.  Take stock in how much you've learned over time.

 

Anyways, hope you guys have as much fun with this as my last thread.

 

Later Dayz 

[Guest Loki]

I somehow became a caregiver to a little that wasn't anything but little. So my advice is : make sure you get to know them first and don't let them force you into being a caregiver. Also, never just blindly enter DDlg relationships. Always, always discuss limits and such.

 

I won't go into details, but he gave me absulute control and never gave feedback on what was comfortable for him or what he actually wanted. He also never asked me if I was okay with this or if it was something I wanted.

 

Not only was this unhealthy for him, but it was also a huge stress on me. I couldn't do anything without worry that I was being inappropriate. I tried to be his Mommy because I thought if I let him go he might go to someone abusive and who doesn't care.

 

Never ever stay in a relationship where the only reason you're in it is to prevent what might happen.

[Guest CharlieFPG]

I remember trying to enforce aspects of the relationship via a contract and a set of really specific rules during the first attempt at the roles. This is pointless at best. In hindsight, I was trying too hard to push my idea of how the relationship should be, and this behavior prevented the dynamic to be enjoyable. I should have take things easier and let them flow.

 

On another relationship I sent approximate deadlines for steps of the relationship, at which time we would be dating, and what would be happening then; this scared the potential little/sub, even thought she did not said it was among the reasons.

 

In my most recent relationship I noticed there was not much interest in doing things or roleplaying, althought DD/lg aspects are integrated in the core of the relationship, there is little to no roleplaying. It is important for each part to voice out how they feel and I tend to keep things instead of opening and communicating.

 

I do hope this helps. As I manage to remember different things, I will be sharing.

Edited June 1, 2017 by CharlieFPG

[Enigma]

My first time as a Dominant overall, my Little actually complained that I wasn't dominant enough. I was so used to normal relationships where both people treat each other equally, and he told me I was "acting more like a boyfriend than I was a Daddy".

 

And so when I tried to be more dominant, it was to much for him and he then expressed being upset that I was to dominant, so it took me awhile to find a proper middle ground.

 

It really was just a huge mess of me trying to figure out what I should and shouldn't be doing. Thankfully, my Little at the time was more than willing to be patient with me and let me figure things out on my own.

Edited June 1, 2017 by Enigma