Trying to get a weight off of my chest

[Guest whatever]

So umm... I debated for a very long time whether or not I should even post this. Even now I am not sure I want it seen or not. Umm..anyways this is an open letter of sorts, to a guy I fell in love with, when I knew I shouldn't have, but I wouldn't regret him for a single second. 

 

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I miss you…

 

You weren’t mine and I wasn’t yours…not really…and yet part of me belongs to you. Telling you how I feel was like bungee jumping. I was free falling, hurtling towards the ground, yet somehow you took away my fear and made me feel safe. But now you’re disappearing…and I am left in this eternal free fall. The wires have been cut and there is no sign of the bottom. And I keep waiting for you to come back and save me.

 

I said I was happy to just be your friend because I love you. And being hurt by having you in my life is better than being hurt by not having you in my life at all. But now that you are disappearing, I am left with this bitter nothingness that has left me hollow. There is no joy or even closure to be found. Only this numbness.

 

We changed. Us. You and me. Just like you promised we wouldn’t. Endless hours became spare minutes. Did I make it that easy for you to walk right in and out of my life?

 

Despite my best efforts to move on, as I’m sure you want, my heart remains open to you, in the hope that you will fill the empty void that threatens to consume it. As I said, I wasn’t yours and you weren’t mine…

 

…but I miss you.