Suggestions for a better first date?

[Maximuswood]

Hi, I'm new to ddlg for a couple weeks now. Involved for a week woth ldr. My first ldr connections, seem to jump very quickly into an affectionate, chatting in which i imagine that we both understand that we are strangers, and we do, and i ask about her very often to figure her out. And see it as a start out strong, and learn as we go kind of deal. But my very first facetime, I found myself challenged in a very unique way, it was a very good learning experience that I think I handled very well. But i was introduced to her room and her stuffies, and I couldn't muster comfortable feelings, or expressions. I had good thoughts, about playing with some day, but I didn't like my facial expressions, and basically what im saying is that I think it have been better to FaceTime with her a different way, to get to see and know her, form a better connection than our ability to txt good. Does anyone have any suggestions? Something more than a movie, or possibly including a movie ALSO. Something we could do or something? Id like my first experience to be less, omg, I know these are important to her, but I'm feeling off put at the moment.

 

The chat ended quite well, but id just like a better experience.

Edited May 25, 2017 by Maximuswood

[Guest mlkykit]

Question, are you and this person in a relationship or are you just getting to know each other? I was struck by you saying that conversation tends to quickly jump into "affectionate chatting". Sounds a bit like moving too fast.

 

Maybe try talking to her about this and figuring it out together. Clear communication and compromise are essentials for a healthy relationship.

 

If, as far as you know, she had a good time for your first FaceTime but you didn't, let her know and find stuff you can do.She won't know unless you talk. Also, if your main concern is that you didn't convey your positive thoughts well, maybe try making a more conscious effort - talk a little more, smile, ask questions and make conversation. If you want something to happen, you're going to have to make some form of effort and work at it.

 

LDRs usually require a lot of input from both sides for them to work. 

[Maximuswood]

I did ask her about them as best I could, I even suggested a story book reading to look for a name. That's why I was excited about my effort. I think I did tell her about it. I dont want to be to personal here, but by your confusion on your correct assumption of multiple girls within a week, as I began typing to one I liked that I was talking to another girl, I didn't like what i was typing, and realized for me, it's best to just talk to one girl at a time, so i had to end this specific relationship. But to build off that, I appreciate your comments of talking and communication. As I've scoured these forums, I see that as a common answer, and an obvious one, but it's really nice to hear it as advice from you.

[Guest blumonkey]

San Bernardino... fragmented memories of raves at the masterdome wayy back...

 

Anyway, as the dom, be the guiding force. Littles are typically highly affectionate, so you have to be the brakes.

 

If I'm called daddy under 1 month, I correct her and tell her she can call me by my first name, at most, Sir. I consider the first month or two to be the vetting process. I would be slower with a LDR than with a local one. This is time to get to know each other, not an insta-relationship.

 

If she is local, I would take her on normal big dates (bar, dinner, dancing, or other adulting stuff) or little dates (zoo). 

 

I would discuss her little side, but not engage in it until vetting is complete and I feel we know each other pretty well and no red flags on either side. During the vetting process, I will tell her what rules I have made for her specific developmental needs, but do not enforce them.

 

This way I don't have a long string of littles in my past, 4 over the years. Some doms may have that many in under a year.

 

This may be unpopular with some, not being able to 'get to the daddy/little fun' quickly, so be it.

[Daddy's_Babygirl]

Well I'm not entirely sure I understand....

 

It sounds to me like this is a very new relationship, and you guys may possibly be moving very quickly. My husband is also my Daddy, we've been together nearly 5yrs and just started this dynamic less than a year ago. I worry about how early the DDlg part is introduced, but to each their own.

 

Personally, I would get to know each other on an individual level first, then add in DDlg and see where that gets me.

[Maximuswood]

Ok, ty all, it was a short period of communication. I think I was just inexperienced and nervous about meeting my new littles stuffies. I was considering a more of a dinner and a movie kinda feeling, but we're talking 4x as much as my first relationship, and we've had deep topics of conversation as well. I feel good and asked to meet her stuffies. I dont think she remembered my mention of how i felt after my first facetime