Self hatred and disgust

[Guest Kali]

I had a LDR with a wonderful little, but it came to an end due to me not reading her needs correctly. Quite apart from the loss, I feel absolute disgust with myself, total loss of confidence in caregiving, and it's just horrible. Any other DDs been through this?

Edited May 24, 2017 by Kali

[Johnny Hammersticks]

Maybe her expectations were too high? Maybe it was a little bit of both, but whatever happened wasn't 100% your fault. You aren't a Superman, and you probably aren't a psychologist, so whatever the reason for the break up, you have to just chalk it up to a simple twist of fate. Try not to be so hard on yourself.

 

Try to take solace in the fact that now you can both pursue relationships that are more fulfilling to each of you. Really, you can't beat yourself up over it.

[Guest Kali]

If only it were so easy. Honestly I feel like I need punishing or to be hurt. Almost feel like I need to switch, as I just don't feel worthy to call myself a Daddy or Dom any more. Maybe if it was a superficial relationship I could chalk it up and move on. Maybe I just handle failure or change very well... 

[tayiie]

without knowing the whole story. Sometimes it is 100% someones fault, but most of the times it isn't. Not knowin what has happened and all all I can say is that don't put yourself down. I feel that we should all learn from our mistakes, if we do that then we aren't such horrible persons. Because it just shows we can grow and become a better version of who we are.

When you say you didn't read her needs right, could it not have been that she wasn't fully clear of what she wanted? Maybe? I don't know, but that's just a thought.

Anyhow, if you feel that you will learn from this and do better in some way then I don't think you are a horrible CG, if something I would say you are someone who cares enough to make yourself into a better CG. Because they way you describe your feelings is telling me that way.

Cheer up :3

[Guest MeneerM]

Never been through what you have been through. When you didn't read her needs well enough I agree with Tayiie... maybe she wasn't clear enough. I sometimes misunderstand my little too. It can be hard reading feelings sometimes.

Do not blame yourself communication is a two way street!!

Edited May 24, 2017 by MeneerM

[Guest Kali]

It's hard. Most of all because I know I'll never find another little like her. Another aspect which makes it super hard is that she was my only kinky friend so I have nobody to talk to about it. It's more natural for littles to vent on here and get assistance - Daddy's I guess just need to suck it up. Edited May 25, 2017 by Kali

[blegoo]

I guess I went through something similar recently. I've tried finding new littles and it just hasn't been the same. Don't know if I'm even capable of falling in love anymore. Maybe time will heal my problems though. Right now is not a good time for me to search for any relationship. But I can't help it because love and affection is something I desire more than anything else. Emotions are hard

Edited May 25, 2017 by blegoo

[Guest Kali]

I totally hear you. The time and energy in building another relationship is not something I could imagine finding right now. It all seems pointless after I thought I had something good. I certainly doubt I could be as emotionally flexible again, as I now believe it just makes it easy to get hurt.

[blegoo]

I still think it's possible for me (and you). Right now I'm focusing a lot on self-improvement, because in order to find the best significant other I can find, I'm going to need to be the best me that I can be, because I doubt I will get as lucky as I was with my last relationship.

[tayiie]

I can sort of feel the same way as you two, Kali & blegoo, i sometimes feel that ( after one of my exes) I will never find any guy that will make me feel the way he did. I am however lucky that my ex and I still talk as friends though its making it rather hard for me to actually let go. But Im trying my best. I also notice I can be a straight up bitch in certain conversations because I feel that there is no use in even trying because I will just get hurt. Then again Im trying to improve myself but it is hard as I dont know whats so wrong with me that makes 50 guys just ghost on me in a conversation I thought was going rather alright. It takes time to process losing the one you thought would be your SO, for me it took about a year, then I spent a year doing very bad choices that could have endef up very badly for me. Now I have come to my senses and Im trying to find my SO but its hard. But I try.

 

Just know Kali, there are probably others like you who have gone through the same stuffs. I hope that you can find such a person and maybe he or she can help you feel better but I dont think that you should give up being a daddy dom just because of this, if its truly some part of you then dont let that part go.

[Guest Waiting4us]

We all are walking our journey and we all are wearing different shoes so as we are all unique and special not all will understand us. My little left me without a word but I am more grateful to her for those moments we had so I am not concerned about what happened later. Maybe she wanted something more but she failed to ask and I failed to deliver but that does not make her guilty nor it makes me unworthy. Communication is key in a relationship but as we all have thoughts going on each moment at times we fail to realize that since we allowed the other to be part of our journey, it is also important to let other know how we are feeling. All I will say is never blame self because no one is wrong. What was meant to happen will always happen and we need to accept things as they come. Move on with life is best way to let go.

[DollDirector]

As blegoo has hinted,time is going to be your best friend.

Once you have reached a point such as " well,for now I am happy to be on my own,I don't need searching" you'll know you are safe and open. My bizarre advice would be to make sure you have a balanced approach to food; For example,if you keep being unable to eat something you normally like,that's a warning you are at risk of becoming depressed,beyond the grieving you are going through,which is normal.

[Guest Kali]

Time is the main thing. I feel slightly different about it each day. i've gone through shock, grief, confusion, despair, introspection, frustration, anger, and now Im starting to accept it. But sometimes I still feel the other things but not dor long :-) It did really affect my work, and appetite for a week or two, but that's ok now. Thanks for your thoughts.