Where are the mommies and little boys (including non binary people)?

[Guest Maru]

I'm one of you and I wanted a thread where we can chat about this. How is it to be a part of the minority in your experience?
I'm a little and I'm nonbinary (I don't really identify fully as any gender). I find it difficult. Looking for a caregiver, I only seem to find daddies who look for a little girl. I recently chatted with someone on omegle and I said "I'm a little" without specifying gender. However they kept saying "You're a nice little girl" and such. 
DDLG which is a term often used about this community means daddy dom little girl. I personally prefer CGL which means caregiver little. But the fact that it's usually called DDLG does not make it easier for girls who are doms, boys who are littles and people outside the binary. Most people seem to assume every little is a girl and every dom is a man (from my experience).
Have you had many experiences where people assume you're something you're not, or even had bad reactions to it? Do you have any advice to give to others that may get into that situation?
 

[Daddy's_Babygirl]

Hi :3

 

I'm not a minority, I'm sorry if you feel like I'm overtaking your post. I am indeed a little girl. I'm a minority in that I don't age play, though. I'm just me :3. I have a girl I work with who assumes I'm not kinky (most people at work think this), and said something hurtful a few months back about Dom/sub relationships. It really hurt and bothered me.

 

I've let it go since then, and realized people assume what they want and comment on what they do not understand. I use DDlg as it relates to my dynamic the most, however when I'm unsure of what another's dynamic is, I strive to use CGl. I've never much considered the minorities who may be reading my postings who may feel left out, though... I'll try to work on that!

[Harley_Quinn]

I'm gender fluid! Daddy tries hard to not focus on the girly part of it but he has a hard time cause he says it's not real :/ it is massively difficult.

[Enigma]

My Little is actually a trans FtM. It's much more rewarding than I thought it would be, since I treat him like a male, you can visibly see his mood spike up in happiness because of how much attention I give it. It definitely helps that he knows I don't date females cuz I'm gay af.

 

The only difficult part is that you see so many female versions of nicknames like "babygirl" or "princess", that you can slip and use one of those names instead, and that's... not good.

[TheGiftedStars]

I actually agree with you on this. I consider myself to not fit into any traditional gender roles as well. I just feel neutral. As for caregivers I would prefer a female caregiver. But like you said most people on here are heterosexual dom males and Little females which does make it harder for minorities like us.

 

Maybe there should be another section for non binary doms/littles and minorities..

[LittlePupRune]

I'm a nonbinary daddy. I don't fit the traditional male daddy look or role all that much so some people get confused when I say that I'm a daddy. My little in also nonbinary, sometimes my little girl, my little boy, or just my little one. We're very loose with gender most of the time, so its sometimes weird when I come on here and see predominantly very binary relationships and nothing that looks like what my little and I have

[Guest Loki]

I'm ... I actually don't know what to class me as. I'm male as a middle and female as a little. Middle is my default. Female is my physical. But I'm happy with my body sooooo :/

 

I just go with female 'cause I'm too exhausted to explain. I have enough to deal with my being pansexual, my depression and my facial disability. So I just let it slide. I don't correct and I don't request to be treated as a male most of the time. I'm also part Native, so there's that.

 

Too many battles lol

Edited May 26, 2017 by Pinkyellowblue

[Guest little_nerd]

I'm non binary and male. *waves*

 

Here's a link for some really cool non binary id's that some nb folks find helpful. I certainly did

https://pride-color-schemes.tumblr.com/post/159849116290/galactian-alignments

 

 

 

But yeah, in general everything is so binary and het I'm like, deep sigh. Even the gay scene is really binary. I like to spend time with nb friends and just chill

[Guest Kali]

Wow... I feel so unhip thinking of myself as, well, just plain old bi or more accurately pan and quite binary in my self identity. But going back to the topic of the OP, although I'm almost exclusively Daddy Dom, there is (probably now way too late) emerging fantasy of being part of a CG/little family with a little sister to share a Daddy, or just having a Mommy. Sometimes, the need feels really strong, too.

[tylerxo]

I'm a little boy but don't have much experience so I can't quite comment on the difficulty of finding a mommy. I've been trying for about 2 months on other random sites up until I found this one. Scrolling through the personals is really discouraging cause it's mainly daddies looking for little girls as said by the OP. But in the meantime while I'm searching for my perfect mommy I'd love to make some little friends  .

[chubbylilwolfcub]

I am currentlt in a DDlg dynamic but I do know what you mean. I have had a Mommy in the past and I have known a female caregiver who prefers the term Daddy despite her gender identity. I was introduced to the lifestyle by a DDlb couple. I follow a few little boys on tumblr and at least one non binary little as well. I even act as a platonic caregiver to some friends of mine (one male one female) who occasionaly feel little but not enough to delve 100% into the lifestyle.

 

Far too often it is assumed that everyone in the lifestyle fits into the DDlg terminology which is simply not the case. I've even seen people on Tumblr repeatedly refer to a FtM trans little boy as "she" "her" and "girl" despite being asked repeatedly to respect his pronouns. It's really crappy. Minority CGls deserve respect too!

[james-the-daddy]

My Little is actually a trans FtM. It's much more rewarding than I thought it would be, since I treat him like a male, you can visibly see his mood spike up in happiness because of how much attention I give it. It definitely helps that he knows I don't date females cuz I'm gay af.

 

The only difficult part is that you see so many female versions of nicknames like "babygirl" or "princess", that you can slip and use one of those names instead, and that's... not good.

That's the best that you treat him like a male (because he is duh). I hope I can someday find a daddy like you because I'm also FtM and a little and my last daddy was straight and he made me feel really crappy and yuck. But yeah I'm happy you treat your little so well I rarely see that with FtM DDLB relationships which makes me sad so this made my day I'm so happy for your little. This all sounds super weird but you've no idea how rare this is

[switchlittleloves]

I think that minority littles are amazing. This is coming from a pansexual, biracial, little/daddy, kind of genderfluid (I enjoy it in roleplay), Texan, and just a weird combination of things. However, I do find that identifying as a minority does come with some problems. I've found, in my experience, that it's better to just be who you are. Identify as yourself, and worry about the rest of the world later. If calling yourself a minority makes you feel more unique, and doesn't become a problem for you, then do it! Like I said, I like the concept. I just feel like it's easier to feel excluded when you think that way. Some people may fall into the "woe is me" state of mind and let the fact that they are a minority keep them from finding like-minded people. Like I said, it's just my opinions and thoughts. Have any of you experienced that feeling? Kind of like you're isolated from everyone else? I've definitely felt that just from being a male little. Edited June 8, 2017 by switchlittleloves

[SleepyToddler]

It sucks, plain and simple. You're not wrong about everything being geared towards cis Daddy Dom/Little Girl relationships. It is difficult to find people outside of that very vocal dynamic but we do exist! I'm a bisexual trans man little. Things may seem discouraging and a they might take a bit more effort but it isn't impossible to find what you're looking for, whether it be a Mommy Dom or other littles that aren't cisgender.

 

It does feel rather isolating though, I wholeheartedly concur. 

[Enigma]

That's the best that you treat him like a male (because he is duh). I hope I can someday find a daddy like you because I'm also FtM and a little and my last daddy was straight and he made me feel really crappy and yuck. But yeah I'm happy you treat your little so well I rarely see that with FtM DDLB relationships which makes me sad so this made my day I'm so happy for your little. This all sounds super weird but you've no idea how rare this is

 

Honest to God, it really bothers me that people in the world can't be more considerate of trans and non-binary people. If you're a straight male don't date an FtM if you aren't willing to accept it. If you're a straight female, don't date an MtF if you aren't willing to accept it. Relationships shouldn't just be a throw-away, and you shouldn't date people with the intent to change big things about them. If you date somebody, you should be hoping to try and make them a life-time partner, and disrespecting a huge part of what they are in no way helps accomplish that goal.

 

FtM people, are MALES.

MtF people, are FEMALES.

Non-binary people are WHATEVER THEY IDENTIFY WITH.

 

I hate that people are so selfish and only consider what they want and don't consider others. 

 

I actually really hate the phrase; "I wish there were more people like you." because I'm just a decent human being, and if there aren't people "like me", then that just means the world is woefully short of decent people.

 

Sorry for ranting. This is just a huge thing for me, and none of this was aimed at you.

Edited June 8, 2017 by Enigma

[*Firefly*]

hai im a nonbianary switch and youre right it is really hard to find doms and subs that dont ft intoo the "normal" cgl setup.

honestly, it sucks but you gotta hold out hope.

[james-the-daddy]

Honest to God, it really bothers me that people in the world can't be more considerate of trans and non-binary people. If you're a straight male don't date an FtM if you aren't willing to accept it. If you're a straight female, don't date an MtF if you aren't willing to accept it. Relationships shouldn't just be a throw-away, and you shouldn't date people with the intent to change big things about them. If you date somebody, you should be hoping to try and make them a life-time partner, and disrespecting a huge part of what they are in no way helps accomplish that goal.

 

FtM people, are MALES.

MtF people, are FEMALES.

Non-binary people are WHATEVER THEY IDENTIFY WITH.

 

I hate that people are so selfish and only consider what they want and don't consider others. 

 

I actually really hate the phrase; "I wish there were more people like you." because I'm just a decent human being, and if there aren't people "like me", then that just means the world is woefully short of decent people.

 

Sorry for ranting. This is just a huge thing for me, and none of this was aimed at you.

I honestly agree with you so much. Don't apologise for ranting I understand, it's a huge thing for me too

[PrincessLiv]

I'm gender fluid! Daddy tries hard to not focus on the girly part of it but he has a hard time cause he says it's not real :/ it is massively difficult.

 

So your Daddy doesn't respect your gender identity? thats super sad. Hopefully he comes to recognise its validity soon 

[submissiveboyjimmy]

I'm a submissive little boy looking for a mommy, they are hard to find, I've been looking under rocks, everywhere, no where to be found, I've been sad with no one to cuddle with

[Guest ☽ ᴍᴏɴᴏᴄᴇʀᴏs ☾]

I'm a little genderfluid. And yes, it's difficult, I've been looking for a caregiver for months. And they usually talk to me heterosexual boys, and it's tiring when they start asking about your gender, and when you try to explain, they practically take you as a joke, a "tumblr stupidity" when I've been feeling this way since before Tumbrl was created.

My ex-girlfriend (it was a vanilla relationship), she had a bad time talking about this kind of thing, and I was always afraid to tell her that it was genderfluid, only some friends know, and there are friends I do not know whether to tell them or not Because it is really stressful to explain it.

Edited June 14, 2017 by ☽ ᴍᴏɴᴏᴄᴇʀᴏs ☾

[HisuianLilligant]

I'm a little boy with a daddy!