What would you do?

[Guest gabri]

I am a new Dd just starting to explore this dynamic online and I have placed an ad on Reddit looking for Lg who would be interested in the same!

I have got a couple of replies and we are in the finding ourselves sort of stage! I have taken all the advice here into consideration and we are just chatting instead of jumping straight into daddy / little relationship.

My concern is although I clearly stated my age on the ad and mentioned quite clearly that I was looking for 18+ little, one of the responses I have got was from a girl who may or may not look over 18, judging by her profile picture.

I have asked her twice, she says she's 18 but I am not entirely sure. Don't know if there's a way to find that out at all!

 

I am more than happy to keep this sexually-free and I am not pushing it at all, nor is she to be honest! But what do you guys feel about this? Even if completely clean is it ok?

Thank you in advance for all the help!

[ChibiPuppy]

Edit: I realize that what I said may have interfered with site rules and chose to remove it.

Edited May 18, 2017 by ChibiPuppy

[Nymph]

It might just be bad luck that she happens to be barely legal and that she happens to look younger... but there is waaayy too many lg's out there underage that lie about it to get a chance... it makes sense that they feel they belong due the childish nature of the dynamic... a lot of this girls "grow out of it" very few are the real deal nowadays that this has gone more mainstream. Some are just plain jailbait and some others expect money from an older guy, be careful.

 

I don't know how old you are, if you are very young yourself it makes sense she contacted you and girls like her will keep contacting you whether they are really 18+ or not. Take things slow and if she is lying she will mess up eventually. No need to ask her every 5 minutes, on the contrary, let her forget age and talk about her daily life. There should be hints there for her real age (school, work, drinking, age of her friends, age of her parents, life experience in general, etc.)

 

Good luck and welcome~

[Guest Candy Minx ♡]

i wouldn't be okay with it but i'm glad you took the moment to question if it was 

okay and ask. 

 

i, personally, am against underage littles for a handful of reasons. the biggest

and most prominent reason being because it's for adults. legally, 18+. when 

you get into the mindset that it's okay to let underage people into our playground

things get a little wonky. BDSM - which cg/l falls under - is an adult thing. even if 

it's not sexual, i don't think we need to be hooking underage people onto it just

because.

 

then there's the fact that if one is to be accepting of the underage little, it can be pushed

as far as why not an underage sub, slave, pet - all these things that are, again, for the

18+ adult. 'if they feel like a pet and they're underge let them be a pet and keep it BDSM

free.' you can't. DDLG falls under BDSM. BDSM means bondage, discipline, dominance,

submission and i don't think that's kid-friendly imo.

 

legal trouble? yeah. you can get into it if they're underage. underage littles

already see this as a crazy new and awesome thing that describes them perfectly

( and i'm probably going to get shit for this, it's fine - a lot of younger and under-

age littles are about being a little because it's either a phase or they see the aesthetic

of it and want in. no one wants to be someone's phase. i can't tell someone they're

not little but i do wonder about the undeveloped and inexperienced mindset of those

who are that young and express that they're little. cg/l has become somewhat

'popular', i suppose. ) and naturally, they're going to want in on it. some at the expense 

of lying. which can get a perfectly innocent DD into trouble.  if she sends photos,

you don't even have to ask, you'd be in possession of underage nonsense. 

 

when people are okay with underage littles, they accept them into this world, this

dynamic - what's stopping the ones who aren't borderline adults from jumping on

board? saying that people deserve to be happy in an adult dynamic as someone

underage isn't fair to the adults abiding by the rules and keeping kids out and

it's usually us that suffers when a big story hits the scene because of an age difference

thing because at one point it was a 'matter of being happy' and then it turned into

a mess. the DDLG community takes a hit ( we're already associated with pedophilia,

incest - we really shouldn't be eagerly lining ourselves up to take underage people ) BDSM takes

a hit, chances are a few people took a hit or two in the process. 

 

it's already an issue and with meeting people online it's so hard to tell if 

they're telling the truth or not, not everyone does. ADULTS have issues with 

online lying/ghosting/fading, VANILLA people have issues with online lying/ghosting/

fading. 

 

accepting an underage 17 year old little is just a gateway into accepting other things

from children that should wait until you're adult. acceptance is just putting other people

at risk and on their part that isn't fair at all. there's a reason, even on this website, that

you have to be 18+ to participate and i wish people understood that. it's scary what 

people can do online now. just imagine if it was really someone else pretending - 

catfishing. lots of stuff.

 

*you = general term. i was in no way speaking to anyone in particular. i was voicing my

opinion.

 

you said you got a few replies, i would personally kindly reject her and move on. i gave

my opinion on underage littles and that took 99% of this up but i had to explain why

i'd reject her. good luck and be safe.

Edited May 18, 2017 by Candy Minx ♡

[ChibiPuppy]

Edit: I realized what I said may interfere with site rules and decided to remove it.

Edited May 18, 2017 by ChibiPuppy

[Guest Bunnyblossom]

CG/L and DDLG are for adults only.

It's not only about sexual maturity but also mental maturity.

Your brain is still developing at like 21.

And they totally ARE under the bdsm category. A CG is the alternative name for a Mommy or Daddy dom.

It doesn't have to be a sexual relationship. Just the way it is.

 

18 is SO young that it shouldn't even count imho.

Everyone should wait til 21+ for adult appropriate activities.

 

Basically if you have any unnerving doubt about her age- get out now.

Cuz it's the internet. Which is shady af sometimes. It's not worth the shitstorm you're potentially facing.

[Guest Candy Minx ♡]

There is technically no reason to say cg/l is within BDSM, as long as you don't make it a BDSM thing. You can do cg/l without there being a dominant and submissive factor. What if a little simply want a reassuring partner who can indulge in them being younger every now and then? No dominance. No submissiveness. No sex. Once you remove those factors it's no longer a BDSM thing, it's simply two people enjoying themselves. Why do you have to put an age on it when there is no need to? BDSM is for 18+, I agree on that, but cg/l doesn't have to be that. I can't stress how often people on this website say all littles and caregivers are different, so that should apply to this too. And no, him going with a 17 year old doesn't invite him to do all kinds of other things regarding children and younger people. The sole fact he reached out here is proof enough that he has a sensible mind and not a preying, dominating personality that preys on young girls. You're putting far too much personal opinions into this, seriously.

 

I perfectly respect that websites such as this has an 18+ rule. For good reason too. But what people do in their spare time is up to them, and as long as they are aware of the risks and what is okay and not okay you should let them do their own stuff. So instead of condemning anyone for considering it and promptly telling them to not even bother, why don't you tell them what is NOT okay to do with an underage and leave it at that? Just because one or two 17 year olds indulge in littlespace that doesn't mean the community as a whole will be majorly affected, not even to mention they are not really allowed on any website yet. So if they find a boyfriend who's willing to act like a non-sexual, non-dominating daddy, then that should be perfectly within their rights.

 

the reason is that it blossomed under bdsm. it is still consider bdsm even if you don't think so.

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/6743-cgl-history/ Bull's answer to be in particular. i suppose

you could look up leather daddy history if you'd like as well. but cg/l is still BDSM. you can't

unmake it bdsm. even though it's changed over time it's still under the same umbrella term.

i put age on it because it's a matter of keeping things legal and safe for everyone, you, me, 

the OP, and even the possibility of an underage little. 

 

everyone on here is about doing each relationship differently and that's great. you can change

whatever you want in a ship to make it work for two people. you can't magically make someone

a legal adult. that has an actual time limit. i don't see why anyone would want to accept anyone

underage into a bdsm setting no matter how non-bdsm they think it is. being underage should

not be shoved into the same category of if a relationship has rules or TPE or the many different

ways to cg/l. 

 

and i didn't say that about him? i clearly stated that the way i used you was a general thing with

no one on the receiving end, it was my opinion. i actually don't even know what you're getting

at with

" And no, him going with a 17 year old doesn't invite him to do all kinds of other things regarding children and younger people. The sole fact he reached out here is proof enough that he has a sensible mind and not a preying, dominating personality that preys on young girls. You're putting far too much personal opinions into this, seriously. "

because, like i said. i meant generally. a whole community or even parts of it accepting underage littles will

encourage underage people to jump in on the scene. i don't know why anyone else would think otherwise.

never said OP was preying.

 

and what people do as a WHOLE is up to them, i don't see what that has to do with anything

either. op or anyone else.. free to do whatever they want? with your logic that means it's okay

for someone, say, 16 to relationship with a 24 year old. because that's what they're doing, they're

aware of the risks and what is okay and what isn't, they're happy?

it's not okay. there are legal rules there for a reason. what's okay and what isn't varies from person

to person but to keeping a solid, bolded line with the age 18+  means we don't have to worry about

anything going that can get someone into trouble on any level, small or large. i also don't think

you realize i have no control over this situation so it's not a matter of 'you should let people do

what they want'etc. i have control over my opinion and views though. 

 

i will continue to strongly disagree with what i disagree with. i do not see an issue with me doing

so, i do so respectfully. the forums are here for expression, it's okay for people to disagree on

things, not everyone has to agree on every matter. this is just one of the many. i have strong

views on being underage and participating in adult things, it's not an issue at all.

 

i don't tell people what's okay to do with underage people because i don't think it's okay.

Edited May 18, 2017 by Candy Minx ♡

[Princess-P]

Your profile says your 29 years old. You should know the answer to this question. Its common sense.

 

No. No its not OK to actively engage with a minor even in a non sexual way.

 

If in doubt, block and ignore. And if she says she's over 18 but you have doubt... Move on. Lots of people lie about age. And it can really bite you in the ass even if you play the "oh I had nooooo idea". Bull shit. Back off.

[Guest gabri]

Thank you all for your feedback. I didn't mean to start a war here, I apologize if I have.

I have not considered advancing if I knew she was under 18... I was considering and asking your opinion about what to do, not being able to guarantee she was at least 18.

Please note to my first post: I have stated my age on the ad.. I have stated clearly that I was looking for 18+...

 

I was reading a post here about red flags. Well, the first red flag was when she told me her age was 18... I asked again.. It just seem too border line.

Then her profile picture seemed quite border line as well.. She could well be 18, but there's no way I can be sure, isn't it? And that was why I was keeping it clean! 

 

I was thinking about following nymph's advice about finding out a bit more while discussing daily life and daily routine... but I understand that I can easily be put in a situation nobody wants to be in! I totally understand your view, Candy Mix! I'll move on! 

[Johnny Hammersticks]

You could always just ask to see her ID if it's that much of a question to you, I've seen that suggested on here, in similar situations before. If she isn't comfortable with that and says no, she says no, so be it. It can't hurt to ask.

[Guest Candy Minx ♡]

Thank you all for your feedback. I didn't mean to start a war here, I apologize if I have.

I have not considered advancing if I knew she was under 18... I was considering and asking your opinion about what to do, not being able to guarantee she was at least 18.

Please note to my first post: I have stated my age on the ad.. I have stated clearly that I was looking for 18+...

 

I was reading a post here about red flags. Well, the first red flag was when she told me her age was 18... I asked again.. It just seem too border line.

Then her profile picture seemed quite border line as well.. She could well be 18, but there's no way I can be sure, isn't it? And that was why I was keeping it clean! 

 

I was thinking about following nymph's advice about finding out a bit more while discussing daily life and daily routine... but I understand that I can easily be put in a situation nobody wants to be in! I totally understand your view, Candy Mix! I'll move on! 

 

i don't think you started a war. it's just that even suggesting things/being okay with underage people in here

is a no-no and you didn't i think you're fine, nothing wrong with getting suggestions

on how to advance!

Edited May 18, 2017 by Candy Minx ♡

[Guest Bunnyblossom]

Quarrel sir? I have no quarrel sir! Good day!

[Guest Princessaj]

Hi and thanks for asking us to be a sounding board.

 

As for the "barely 18 year old" or any other younger-ish than legal gals that approaches you....

 

Have you considered that you could be being set up by a police sting?

 

Very active online 24/7, 365 days a year and quite aware of the DDlg Lifestyle.

 

 Hugs

[DollDirector]

I like what Johnny Hammersticks says. Definitely un-romantic but you might go even further: Meet in a public place where there is a copy machine. You can't do more safe: ID document shows where people live. Un-romantic but polite ! Because of course you apply to yourself what you ask from her and both of you will get a copy of the other's ID. Once this paperwork is over you can have a wonderful meeting and carry on discovering each other.

[cuppycakes]

I agree with @DollDirector that you should ask for some kind of legal document. Even if you asked her to show you her license/birth certificate on a skype call or something, you could check her date of birth.

 

"Un-romantic but polite !"

[Guest thelittlestcorgi]

Get official, photo ID of some kind.

 

If someone you're essentially considering dating isn't even willing to show you something as basic as their state ID card - which they have to give to random people just to get a motel room on their own, buy a beer, be behind a car wheel, enter some stores, etc - then it's a fair bet that you can't trust them to be honest about anything, let alone in a relationship.

[Guest ~DaddysLilMonster~]

Ask her proof

[PartyAnimal]

Simple advice: RUN!  In a world of predators you do not need to take any chances.  We have enough to deal with when it comes to people's wrong perceptions about the DD/lg community.  Actually (intentionally or not) living out their stereotypes by involving minors hurts all of us.  Exercise the greater maturity for the greater good.