UGH I NEED TO RANT

[LittleRae]

So my Daddy and I are getting married on Saturday! <3

 

But the thing is, we had someone decide that our wedding was not important. Not just someone. One of my bridesmaids. We had told her OVER A YEAR AGO, that we wanted her as a bridesmaid. She said yes, and got SUPER involved in the wedding planning process. But like 4 months ago, she decided that meeting up with her LDR was more important. They went to Disneyland THIS WEEK, fully aware that she was supposed to be here for the wedding.

 

To us, a wedding is once in a lifetime. So Daddy's a little mad, and I'm REALLY MAD. I dunno...am I in the wrong here? What do you think?

[Alextheswitch<3]

I WOULD FEEL THE SAME WHAT THE HECK

[Guest Georgia-Daddy2]

No that is exactly how you should be feeling like Disney Land will always be there but that wedding was special and i wish you both the best

[Guest mlkykit]

Put yourself in her shoes. She has a LDR going on; How often does she get to see her significant other? You have yours, I assume, as close as you'd like - to the point where you can get married. She doesn't have that yet, maybe she thought her happiness was more important than yours.

 

Would you have preferred she come to your wedding mopey because she couldn't be with her significant other and instead had to stand and watch you with yours?

 

Personally, I don't think anyone is in the wrong here. What's priority to you, may not be priority for everyone else. I understand why you're mad, and to be honest I'd be a lil' miffed too, but take into account her feelings as well.

[Mikaitaku]

how Long distance are we talking about? different countries? maybe the guy just got the money and time to visit her. It sounds to me that you are self adsorbed and less present things. I do feel that if you say you are going to do something than you should do it but on the other hand being able to meet up with a person you are in a LDR with is more important than you might think it is. 

[LoonyLoveMay]

Congratulations!!! and have a happy wedding and blessed marriage!

I'm sorry your friend do this to you in such important day and moment in your life... you have all the right to be mad. So don't feel bad and rant all you want!
Now is your moment so enjoy it and forget about every thing that make you feel bad!

 

You are going to be the most beautiful bride ever! Smile! Thing happens for a reason!

 

Enjoy your day! and I wish you the best! 

[PrincessAurora]

For everyone saying to put herself into the LDRs shoes. Let me clue you in. I helped plan my best friends wedding. You spend months even up to a year planning this out. You pay a thousands of dollars on the dresses and catering. Catering is all about the numbers. Your paying 60-70 dollars per plate/per head depending on if you do buffet or severice style.

 

She could of asked "hey can my LDR come". Most caterers can accommodate an extra number. But they've already paid the money and now that's wasted money that could of been used elsewhere. There's also the matter of the price of the bridesmaid dress. Most brides will be gracious and pay for the gowns. Another funding opportunity wasted.

This ALSO messes with the timing of the wedding. As you spend 2-3 days practicing the timing of the walks. The bride maid entries. That's also one less set of helping hands. Brides maids jobs are more than just standing there and looking pretty. They all have roles to play in weddings.

 

A wedding is one day. Yes. The other may be in an LDR but she made a commitment to be there for Rae on her wedding day. It's one thing to be sick and unable to go. But this is more of a slap to the face after all the stress planning, fund gathering, and tears. Yes. Tears. There are tears in wedding planning. Sometimes blood if it's diy.

 

 

Now remember. This is all coming from someone whose planned a wedding and had to wrangle in bridesmaids, especially one who decided they just didn't want to be bothered the day of.

 

Rae. Try not to let it ruin your day. In the end it's a day that she will honestly regret missing. It's a very special moment that you share with family and friends. And it's her own fault that she won't be sharing it with you. Just remember. Everyone else there came to support you because they love you and your fiancé.

[Guest mlkykit]

For everyone saying to put herself into the LDRs shoes. Let me clue you in. I helped plan my best friends wedding. You spend months even up to a year planning this out. You pay a thousands of dollars on the dresses and catering. Catering is all about the numbers. Your paying 60-70 dollars per plate/per head depending on if you do buffet or severice style.

 

She could of asked "hey can my LDR come". Most caterers can accommodate an extra number. But they've already paid the money and now that's wasted money that could of been used elsewhere. There's also the matter of the price of the bridesmaid dress. Most brides will be gracious and pay for the gowns. Another funding opportunity wasted.

This ALSO messes with the timing of the wedding. As you spend 2-3 days practicing the timing of the walks. The bride maid entries. That's also one less set of helping hands. Brides maids jobs are more than just standing there and looking pretty. They all have roles to play in weddings.

 

A wedding is one day. Yes. The other may be in an LDR but she made a commitment to be there for Rae on her wedding day. It's one thing to be sick and unable to go. But this is more of a slap to the face after all the stress planning, fund gathering, and tears. Yes. Tears. There are tears in wedding planning. Sometimes blood if it's diy.

 

 

Now remember. This is all coming from someone whose planned a wedding and had to wrangle in bridesmaids, especially one who decided they just didn't want to be bothered the day of.

 

Rae. Try not to let it ruin your day. In the end it's a day that she will honestly regret missing. It's a very special moment that you share with family and friends. And it's her own fault that she won't be sharing it with you. Just remember. Everyone else there came to support you because they love you and your fiancé.

 

Like I said, understandable why the OP is mad; Nowhere did I say they had no right to be. Someone gives their word, they ought to keep it - I agree. I'm very aware of the stress involved in planning functions.

 

However, the fact of the matter is, you have to also think of the other's feelings as well. Opposing priorities can't be negated because you deem them less important. Some people can't be assed to have their partner come with them to a function, especially when they only get to see them ever so often. Maybe they wanted to be alone with them. Maybe the partner didn't want to attend the wedding of someone, I assume, they don't know. Shit happens, and sometimes people will put their happiness, wants and needs above yours for whatever reason. Comes with the territory of life, and it makes no sense to get all heated about it.

 

But really, would you have preferred a wet rag at your party? Chances are if they had opted to attend, they would have been mopey and dreary because they didn't get to spend they day how they wanted to. Wedding days are too precious for that, the OP should let it go and just enjoy her day.

Edited May 15, 2017 by mlkykit

[Ami29]

Omg..that's awful..and I would never even talk to than person ever again in my life.it is your wedding..it's more important than any Disney land visit..but never mind..and forget..anger would spoil the day..better find out sooner than later who is real and who's fake..and get rid of them.i understand your anger and no one can blame you, but focus on yourself rather than someone else.

i wish you happiness with your life with your daddy/groom

[DollDirector]

Sad.

This reminds me of the time there was a letters / counseling section in women's magazines. There was a classic,keep coming up subject,like "she has been my best friend for ages and now she's met that man and it's like she doesn't care about me any more"...

Maybe she had this feeling first,and could not face the situation.

" 4 months ago,she decided that meeting up was more important ",you say. Maybe in the future you two will have the conversation you should have had at that time.

For now,you're quite rightly living the situation as treason. At least you have got a week ! Could have been worse,you can tell yourself; Could have been only a day...

[Guest Bunnyblossom]

Your wedding's only the most important thing to YOU and your Daddy.

 

And it's a fraction of what getting married is about. Literally one single day.

[Guest Cutecumber]

So my Daddy and I are getting married on Saturday! <3

 

But the thing is, we had someone decide that our wedding was not important. Not just someone. One of my bridesmaids. We had told her OVER A YEAR AGO, that we wanted her as a bridesmaid. She said yes, and got SUPER involved in the wedding planning process. But like 4 months ago, she decided that meeting up with her LDR was more important. They went to Disneyland THIS WEEK, fully aware that she was supposed to be here for the wedding.

 

To us, a wedding is once in a lifetime. So Daddy's a little mad, and I'm REALLY MAD. I dunno...am I in the wrong here? What do you think?

I would be angry but understand that they are not my true friend. Two words: Love clouds. It clouds up your judgement and makes it hard to do the right thing sometimes (i.e. fulfilling your promises and responsibilities) Some people just aren't mentally mature enough to put their wants and desires aside for something that is important to someone that they care about.

 

Good luck with the wedding, I'm sure it will be a beautiful thing! What color theme is it? What type of cake will you have? Let me know!!

 

BTW my birthday is this Saturday haha.

 

xoxo Cutecumber

[LittleRae]

how Long distance are we talking about? different countries? maybe the guy just got the money and time to visit her. It sounds to me that you are self adsorbed and less present things. I do feel that if you say you are going to do something than you should do it but on the other hand being able to meet up with a person you are in a LDR with is more important than you might think it is. 

 

He lives in another state. And originally, he was also coming to the wedding.