Advice/Help for new DDLG relationship

[FarPrincess]

Hello to everyone reading this,

I have come to ask for some advice amd help for not only my relationship but myself as well. My back story is that I am a fairly new Little and discovered what ddlg was recently this year. My whole life I have always acted much younger than what I was. I loved princesses and dolls as well as people basically treating me as if I was younger. It always gave me kind of an escape even then from the life i was living. Fast forward to this year I was at school when I meet these two girls. While talking one asked me if I was a little. At first I was confused then she explained it to me. I then researched the community and decided to become a little.

When I decided to become a little I told my boyfriend about it and he agreed to become my daddy which made me so unbelievably happy. We then started to research things together and learn more together. Though we never really started doing ddlg. We would do it sometimes and I would act little but its becoming less and less now sadly. We also have a little rough patch in our relationship due to sexual reasons as well as us both having certain needs and wants. I personally can not do anything sexual sometimes kissing is hard too mostly when I am really depressed. Though Daddy is more sexual and though our ddlg relationship is non sexual he gets sad about him being a sexual person because he wants to wait for me but it can be hard sometimes. I feel bad for putting daddy through that as well as my depression. I want so much from daddy but I know he is only human. It's like I want him to take a magic wand out of his pocket and take me to our own little fantasy world where nothing bad happens.I know that is not expected of a human I still do it. I just expect so much for him because he is my happiness and light in this dark world I feel. I basically rely on my fantasy world and Daddy to keep me happy which can hurt a relationship. I also am worried daddy is only doing this to make me happy. I want this to be a mutual thing and for both of us to be happy. I feel like he just doesn't know what to do. Today he told me he doesn't know how to be a Daddy because he never really had a dad. I completely understand that but I worry if he truly wants this or if he is just is trying to make me happy. I just I don't know what to do.

Please help me

[Princess-P]

Unfortunately there's nothing any of us can do to help you. You need to learn how to be happy on your own and not rely on anyone else. And if he's trying to be a Daddy for you and doesn't know where to begin... Well that falls on you to. Hes not a mi d reader and since every little and every relationship is different you have to tell him what you want from him.

 

Sorry but the only way to make it work is to talk to him. Its between the two of you.

 

As for the sexual part. Thats hard. If one partner is sexual and the other isn't it can leave both partners unhappy and unsatisfied. It may be a case of incompatibility.

[ForOnlyYou47]

Hewwo I'm looking for a daddy but don't know where to start

[ForOnlyYou47]

Hewwo I'm looking for a daddy but don't know where to start

[FarPrincess]

He makes me very happy and he has been in my life since 10th grade we both couldn't bear being without each other. I just really want to make everything work so we are both happy. I don't know if he wants to be a daddy I am confused about that part. It's more so that he said he doesn't know how to be a daddy period. Or he doesn't know how to act or what to do. Like as if he is not really into it which is understandable.

I am just a perfectionist and I think more with a fantasy point of view than anything so it's hard to do with things too. He is my everything and I wouldn't know really what to do with out him. I hardly know how to care for myself and I just expect a lot out of him. I expect a lot out of life knowing life hurts. Maybe I rely on him because in 10th grade I was really really depressed. I also had anxiety and every day I would have anxiety attacks around the same class period. Though unlike a lot of people in my life he always cared. Every time I needed him he came to save me and calm me down. He is my Prince and my light I just wish he could make everything better or I wish he knew what I was going through but life is more difficult than that.

 

I also worry about communication on both parts too as well. I know i have issues because it's hard for me to talk about emotions and other things as well as me expecting a lot from him. While he leaves me in the dark about small to important things. We are both aware of everything going on we just are kind of stuck. Thank you for responding guys.

[FarPrincess]

Sorry if I am saying too much I just am really emotional right now. I don't know what to do to help him become a daddy. I never had a ddlg relationship before so I feel a little bit confused over how to help him. Any advice of what I can do?

 

Though he does try it's just that he doesn't really seem into it. He doesn't really look anything up unless I ask of we both can. He also stated how how can do this sometimes though he just doesn't know how to get into it I guess you could say. Do you think he wants to be my Daddy or does he just want to make me happy. I don't mind having a Daddy I don't want my boyfriend to think he has to do anything he is noy into to make me happy.

[FarPrincess]

[FarPrincess]

Sorry about grammar guys I type really fast and my phone is really just not that best at corrections.

[Sparklefrosting]

I would say work on depression management. Certain medications and doses can affect your libido.

Research different types of daddy Doms and see which aspects appeal to you and introduce them SLOWLY to your partner. Your fantasy world isn't going to happen in a blink of an eye and sometimes you'll have to make compromises with your partner.

Keep in mind it's not a one way street daddies get burnt out and need care too. Practice self care while you work on simple steps with your partner.

[FarPrincess]

I looked up the different types. I realized I want more of a caregiver role I didn't know there were different roles sadly. Though I have been trying to do things slowly I haven't pushed anything on him and I also haven't really been able to become little. I just do it when he wants to so he doesn't feel pushed. I try not to talk about it as much so it comes naturally. Though I don't know if he is into this as I am. I did try to talk to him but he usually does things to make me happy which is nice but not expected of him. I know he says he doesn't know how to nurture or care for me in this format because he says he is not really into it by the way he said it. I just am confused over what he wants to do.

Also I am kind of an odd pickle you could say. I have no desire for sexual things an do just I can't do them at all.

Also how to I practice self care because I kind of don't know how to really care for myself and my boyfriend doesn't know how to either. He tries but it's hard for him because he has issues of his own to deal with. I also was going to ask about how to deal with separation because I am very dependable on my boyfriend. Thank you for your advice it was greatly needed.

[Princess-P]

OK, so you have a lot going on here.

 

Sounds as though you have some mental health issues that a professional may be able to help you with. You can not ask your boyfriend to be your only support for depression or anxiety. Thats putting way too much stress on him. Your grown, take responsibility for yourself.

 

Also if you have a boyfriend why are you worried about where to find a caregiver? Unless you are in a poly relationship and your boyfriend is ok with you having a Daddy as well and you all talk openly about it.

 

It also sounds like your rushing things. There's no wat for him to know how to be a Daddy if you dont tell him what you want him to do. This is YOUR problem to fix. Not his. Tell him what you want, he cant read your mind.

 

While you may think being a little is all about being cute and being taken care of your very wrong. It sounds like you have a lot of maturing to do and a lot to learn about yourself before you can expect anything from your partner. Figure out your own needs, learn to take care of yourself. Then introduce your boyfriend to what you have learned.

[FarPrincess]

I think what I am trying to say is being misunderstood. I am not trying to look for another caregiver I just want to know if my boyfriend is ok with with us being in a ddlg relationship. I don't want to just tell him what to do because he knows what i like but it's the fact he can't really act nurturing or connect to felt like I do. I do know some things of ddlg and I may be new to it but I am matured and have being dealing with mental health problems since I was 13 I am 20 now. I have been to therapy since i was 13 and i know for a fact sadly that therapist and medicine do not always help. I do not put everything on my boyfriend I just want happiness and I hope for certain things in a relationship is all. I know ddlg is not felt about being cute its more than just that but every relationship is different. For me it's age regression and for me to feel safe and be who I am in my heart which is child like. I am sorry if I seem immature for wanting and hoping for certain things but if anything I think i am trying to be nature about this situation. I am going about this slow and i am not pushing my boyfriend to do anything I just want him to be happy and for us to be happy. I am sorry if i seem upset but all I really want is advice and help is all. For a lot of people age play is a way to escape from reality and this is my therapy. Being able to escape and be who I wish to be or going to a place of fantasy helps me. Thanks for your input though.

[FarPrincess]

Sorry some words in there were added or misunderstood by my phone it has a odd keyboard.

[Princess-P]

I may be completely misinterpreting what your saying but thats just the way your post reads to me.

 

I still think you should explore being little alone. If your boyfriend has not taken to the CG/l dynamic it may be because he's not a Daddy. So be it. You can still both be happy.

 

Its great you do seek professional help. And if age regression works for you then great. But you may just be in this on your own. As long as he's not discouraging you from being little, then his involvement may just be something you have to do without.

 

If he does want to be involved then saying things like he knows what you like is not the right way to do it. Even people who have been together for years can't always know what the other person needs. I know, I've been with my Daddy for 10 years and I still have to tell him things.

 

Again, just explore on your own. Find Happiness in your relationship without CG/l being prominent. Introduce things to him when your ready. Talk. Tell him what you want/need, do not assume he should know. Be specific. If he doesn't want to follow through accept that. If he doesn't show interest accept that too. And if you can't accept that then you may have to have a very serious conversation about your relationship and where its going.

[LittlePupRune]

Hewwo I'm looking for a daddy but don't know where to start

Put something in the Personals

[FarPrincess]

Thank you for helping me. Also its ok it's hard to really understand things when it's written out a lot of times. Sorry about my post bot being worded in the nest way. I agree with you very much I do need to look more into CG/L. I did try to look some things up but they weren't the best sadly. Could you recommend anything or do you have any advice for this or anything at all will be amazing. Also I was thinking the same thing involving my boyfriend I do not think he is into being a daddy. I feel like it is to make me happy but I love him even if he isn't my daddy. I just wish he understood that I try to tell him and ask him but I know he won't say if he isn't best fit to be a daddy. Maybe he will be and maybe he will not but it's ok i love him still. Also your right I shouldn't assume he knows everything about what I need or like. Even if i have known him for 5 years there's always more to learn. I really appreciate all your help.

[Guest Princessaj]

Hi and thanks for including all of us in your DDlg adventure.

 

I am, as everybody knows, a list maker...

 

I suggest that you write a list of all the things you love about being a little from all of the angles.

-How you want to look 

-how you want to act 

-what kind of little things you want

-what DDlg things you are curious about trying

-if you don't know find out, you are in the perfect place to discover it all

-keep going, have fun with it

 

When you have that list done, start a list of what you want in a Daddy. Don't worry about what is "right" or wrong." Remember you can always add things, subtract things as you go along.

 

When you have all of that stuff out of your head and on paper..screen...sit down with your boyfriend and show him, tell him....

 

You both/all don't know what it is to be down the road of DDlg and you should stop requiring your selves to know what to do or not to do.

 

It took me since last August, tons of research, reading, study, making DDlg friends and more research, study, reading in this forum to get to a place now that I know what I want as a middle and what I want in a Daddy. Daddy showed up through a vanilla dating site a month and half ago. I told him what I liked about DDlg and he couldn't be more into making me happy even if he only knows what I tell him.

 

So you never know what will happen, what you can learn to know is what you want to try....life is long, don't be in such a hurry. Life made me grow up sooooo fast. DDlg is such an amazing gift to us all. All I can think about now is that I have this fabulous opportunity to be 13-18 years old "actually" for the very first time. Hugs

[FarPrincess]

Y9i are sooo right you truly are. I feel like I can be a perfectionist from the fact that I feel I wasted my life and I have extreme guilt and depression from my life like a lot of do sadly. I wish the world was happier and like some fantasy and I wish I never went through any of the things I went through. Sadly from the time I was till now I was extremely depressed and I was suicidal. I had to stop going to school and I didn't have a youth or high school experience. Not including the other things that happen in childhood. Though you are right little space let's me relive the parts of my life I missed. I have time to learn what I like as well as who I am as well. This really did help sorry if I brought up a sad topic again it's just nice knowing there are people who understand. I really appreciate it I truly do. Also my boyfriend does want to be my Daddy I think I just need to tell him everything you suggested that will truly help us. Thank you again for righting and I love the cursive and pink handwriting IT'S SOOOO PRETTY.

[FarPrincess]

You are sooo right you truly are. I feel like I can be a perfectionist from the fact that I feel I wasted my life and I have extreme guilt and depression from my life like a lot of people do sadly. I wish the world was happier and like some fantasy and I wish I never went through any of the things I went through but I did. Sadly from the time I was 12 till now I was extremely depressed and I was suicidal. I had to stop going to school and I didn't have a youth or high school experience.Not including the other things that happened in childhood. Thank goodness I went to online school so i was able to graduate. Though you are right little space let's me relive the parts of my life I missed out on. I have time to learn what I like as well as who I am as well. This really did help sorry if I brought up a sad topic again it's just nice knowing there are people who understand. I really appreciate it I truly do. Also my boyfriend does want to be my Daddy I think I just need to tell him everything you suggested that will truly help us. Thank you again for righting and I love the cursive and pink handwriting IT'S SOOOO PRETTY.

If I have any questions am i allowed to ask you any in private messages? It will also be nice to have a friend to helo me along the way if it was ok. I am sorry if I am asking for too much I can be a open book sometimes lol.