Single Littles, Structure, and Little Space

[LittleBlackRose]

Hello to all of my lovely little friends out there!

 

I have a point of curiosity that I am struggling with at present so I though I might as well bring it to the masses on the forum. As an unowned, or single, little I have a ridiculously difficult time achieving two things: structure and being fully in little space. My lack of structure is further exasperated by being disabled and therefore living with a number of chronic conditions (both mental and physical). Essentially my time lacks the external constraints of a job or traditional school with the main exception being professional appointments. Fully entering little space is hard for me in part because there is no structure to rein me in nor is there someone around to kind of keep an eye on what's happening.

 

So, here are the questions: What tips and tricks have you learned for creating structure in you life? What little things have you found help you stick to the structure you've created? What tricks have you found work for being fully in little space without a Big around? Conversely, what tricks have you found to bring yourself out of little space when necessary?

 

I'm really interested in seeing what comes up. Thank you all in advance for considering this little post of mine.   

[pinkerbell]

You are telling my story. Only difference is I'm a single mum of grown up children.  One of which is disabled. I work to support myself. I set alarms all the time. I set goals, and break them. I cry, a lot both as an adult and as a little. Sometimes I have to just let myself have a foot in both worlds. For example I always have something pink with me, all the time. My bedroom is my free space to be both adult or little. 

Iv'e just started a journal. The only rule with it, is there are no rules, the time limit is, one page. 

As a little you know that you can come out of little space quickly, because your adult survival brain will kick in, for example if you are drawing and the fire alarm goes off your not going to just sit there. If someone pops around that doesn't know your a little, your not going to baby talk, So relax and find the time to be you. 

I believe that you are better off being little you by yourself before you let anyone see little you anyway. (no one to judge) 

[Nymph]

omg, yes alarms and pink!!

I have tons of alarms set so I don't forget about the world while watching anime, playing games or coloring. I use lists with reminders and the calendar quite a bit on my iPhone. I used to go out of my way to wear at least one discrete little item every day but that usually left me feeling there wasn't enough pink in my life... so I went to the salon and asked for a pink bayalage, we couldn't do it in one go but at least the color is pretty and hopefully will look awesome next week when they adjust it.

 

In my case, I get very frustrated because I do have a Daddy and he is awesome, but we are long distance. Looking back it was less frustrating to be single because at least you looked forward to finding your match you know? but I guess I just need to be patient until we can be together. Until then, he is too busy so I need to fend for myself, it's very lonely

 

I do miss having a set schedule like I did at school, I have tried to do it but it's just hard to find the motivation for it on my own. For stuff I particularly hate but need to get done, such as cleaning and organizing, I like to take before and after pictures and I noticed when I do that I actually feel accomplished instead of tired or resentful by having to do it, of course nothing compares to Daddy's praise, but life has to go on.

[LittleBlackRose]

You are telling my story. Only difference is I'm a single mum of grown up children.  One of which is disabled. I work to support myself. I set alarms all the time. I set goals, and break them. I cry, a lot both as an adult and as a little. Sometimes I have to just let myself have a foot in both worlds. For example I always have something pink with me, all the time. My bedroom is my free space to be both adult or little. 

Iv'e just started a journal. The only rule with it, is there are no rules, the time limit is, one page. 

As a little you know that you can come out of little space quickly, because your adult survival brain will kick in, for example if you are drawing and the fire alarm goes off your not going to just sit there. If someone pops around that doesn't know your a little, your not going to baby talk, So relax and find the time to be you. 

I believe that you are better off being little you by yourself before you let anyone see little you anyway. (no one to judge) 

 

Being disabled I've had to do a lot of work accepting myself so I'm pretty open about being rather child-like. My hair is rainbow and I wear pigtails whenever I want to feel extra little. I do have a couple of friends that know I'm a little that I can safely "little out" with, which is nice. 

 

You are right about the adult brain being able to kick in quickly. I just find that for non-essential functions it's less likely to fade. Honestly, that's part of my wariness for being fully little with no one around. I've fallen into various holes for hours (YouTube, books, games, coloring, etc.) with no one to notice I wasn't eating. Believe me, I am aware of how ridiculous that sounds.

 

Maybe some of this is a little more challenging for me because I am a natural little. One would think that would equal more tools and tricks but it really just means a long history of unfinished everything and an inconsistent record of adulting.

 

I like the idea of the journal and will have to consider that. I also should likely make better use of alarms and calendar reminders. Thank you for responding!

[LittleBlackRose]

omg, yes alarms and pink!!

I have tons of alarms set so I don't forget about the world while watching anime, playing games or coloring. I use lists with reminders and the calendar quite a bit on my iPhone. I used to go out of my way to wear at least one discrete little item every day but that usually left me feeling there wasn't enough pink in my life... so I went to the salon and asked for a pink bayalage, we couldn't do it in one go but at least the color is pretty and hopefully will look awesome next week when they adjust it.

 

In my case, I get very frustrated because I do have a Daddy and he is awesome, but we are long distance. Looking back it was less frustrating to be single because at least you looked forward to finding your match you know? but I guess I just need to be patient until we can be together. Until then, he is too busy so I need to fend for myself, it's very lonely

 

I do miss having a set schedule like I did at school, I have tried to do it but it's just hard to find the motivation for it on my own. For stuff I particularly hate but need to get done, such as cleaning and organizing, I like to take before and after pictures and I noticed when I do that I actually feel accomplished instead of tired or resentful by having to do it, of course nothing compares to Daddy's praise, but life has to go on.

 

I understand missing the set schedule as much as I feel like it chafes in a way. External motivation is much more successful than intrinsic motivation. Have you tried some of the gamification apps? I've downloaded them and started to set them up yet fail to stick with them.

 

I like the discreet little idea for when discretion is required. I'm a natural little so most of the people in my world just know me to be rather child-like. It helps that I've accepted my wide variety of eccentricities (including little-ness) so I'm less phased by people not liking who I am. Between that and being disabled, I am able to get away with things like rainbow hair up in pigtails.

 

The before and after pictures are a really good idea! I'll have to start using this trick. Maybe it will help with that feeling like I'm not actually getting anywhere.

 

Thank you so much for your response.