Daddy works a lot!

[nitefallenstar13]

My Daddy and I are new to this lifestyle but we have always somewhat lived it through our 4 year relationship. I can't speak for him but when I found out it was like I finally felt like I belonged to something I never knew had a name. But anyways my Daddy works A Lot...like 10 hours a day 6 days a week. This just started in November and I have had a hard time coping and in result our relationship went vanilla. When I told him about all of this 2 weeks ago he was ready for it and we talked about and shared ideas but we have yet to have any rules or punishments in stone and I feel like it's because he is too tired all the time. He works nights and can't change shifts. He comes home and sleeps all day til a few hours before work. It's really hard because I feel like he is not around or awake enough to actually live this lifestyle even though we both really want it because we both believe it will save our relationship. Has anyone gone through this or currently going through this that can give us advice on how make this a 24/7 lifestyle with his work and sleep schedule?

[Guest littleloveslars]

My daddy works a lot and also travels for work for weeks at a time. The most important thing i can say is that you are just as responsible for following the rules even if your daddy is not available to enforce them. There has to be a major element of trust or he will think you dont take the rules seriously and will let them go. If you have a bratty side its really important to remember that your daddy works really really hard to provide for your house hold and that by sassing just for attention you are telling him that you don't respect and appreciate him. It takes a lot of open communication. I wish you luck!

[nitefallenstar13]

It's not that I have a problem doing the things he asks of me when he's asleep or at work....it's the fact that he has yet to agree to a set of rules. I have no idea what I'm suppose to be doing or what is right or wrong and he just keeps punishing me in the moment. He keeps saying we will sit down and make some basic one since we are both new to this lifestyle but he keeps putting it off. I understand he works a lot and is tired but I just find it a little unfair that he gets to enjoy the sexual aspect of it and my respect which has been getting a little less these last few days because he doesn't provide me with the the structure and time I need as a human being and as a little. I feel insecure and heartbroken because maybe I want this more than he does even though we mutually agreed. We have been together for 4 years and have a daughter sonits not something I can just say oh well it's not going to work out for us better go find another you know.

[Daddy's_Babygirl]

Hi there!

 

There was a time my husband/Daddy worked 7 days a week, only coming home if they didn't need him. At the time we knew nothing of DDlg but it was a very crucial time in our relationship. This was the very beginning of our relationship and I was raising our son (who biologically isn't mine) more or less on my own. I was 18, had just gotten with a father and was trying to figure this motherhood thing out.

 

This continued for many years. We had a daughter together, and frankly.... my husband wasn't helping as much as I needed with either child. I stayed home, so he didn't feel a need to. I didn't communicate my need for help until I was ready to leave.

 

I don't remember what happened on this particular day.... but I called him at work crying. I told him I was done, and that if we couldn't figure something out our relationship was over. We were both on the same shift (finally! We worked opposite shifts for 3.5yrs!) but I couldn't take it any more. He never showed me how he loved me and he wasn't helping with the kids. I was emotionally over it.

 

My husband did what, in 3.5yrs he had never done, and in nearly 1.5yrs since then hasn't done again. He told his boss he had to leave. If it meant his job he didn't care because right now there were more important things. He had a family emergency to deal with. And we both left work and talked. For hours.

 

That day changed things. I didn't sugar coat anything, I didn't dance around the subject. The first 3.5yrs of our relationship we're so incredibly hard.... that by the time they were over every little thing was a big deal. We're almost 5yrs in now. Like two months away. It has been a hard and well worth it road.

 

Do you love you partner? I sense you have a great deal of love for him. You need to sit down, tell him EXACTLY how you're feeling. Tell him what you need, and tell him you want to do it in X time frame. Explain that you understand he is exhausted in every way, and while you appreciate and respect what he does for you.... you're still a human being who needs attention desperately right now.

 

Understand that the road ahead is very hard. After our talk.... our relationship became the hardest it's ever been. It's been a year or more since that talk though.... and our relationship is so much stronger than it ever was before.

[Princess-P]

Maybe the idea of setting rules for you is a little too much for him right now. I can understand working long days. My Daddy and I both work 12-14 hour days. Its exhausting. Maybe trying to set rules or have an outline and pressure to follow through is something he can't commit to right now.

 

So as an adult little its your job to set your own standards. If your Daddy is working so much and you are not then you need to take Care of him. In turn that will make it more enjoyable for the both of you when he has time to spend with you.

 

You can also talk to him about his sleeping. If he only works 10 hours that leaves a lot of hours available to spend with you. I know everyone is different with what they need for sleep but committing to at least 2-6 hours of available time shouldn't be that difficult. In my home I work 7-7 and Daddy works 8-8(or)10. Usually we stay up until midnight so we can get some time together and still have enough time for sleep and then the day starts all over again at 6am.

 

The point is that if you love each other you will make it work. You need to communicate your need for time together to him. Dont push too much for rules and punishments but if you want some light structure that may be a good place to start. Ask him to make a schedule for you and he can check in with you to make sure you followed it.

 

Talk to him, but take it easy on him. Work effects people in different ways. finding the right balance sometimes take a lot of trial and error.

Edited May 3, 2017 by Princess-P

[DaddyAccorc]

I am sorry to hear this. Me and my little just went through the same thing. You and your Daddy should sit down and talk about how you feel with this. Tell him this is really upsetting you and you want more time for you and him. Communication is key for a Ddlg relationship. You have to tell him what you do and do not like.

 

If it doesn't work out it doesn't but I do recommend that you and him do have a good conversation about this and that he takes this into heart. I know how much Little girls need attention from their Daddy/Caregiver.

 

Hope this came to some use 

[Hellomrstuffie]

This is happening to me too ;-; it's a LDR and daddy rarely chats with me. I tried to talk to him about it many times but he always says that he has alot of work to do... He didn't even give me any attention on Christmas.. I spent it all alone ;-; Edited January 21, 2018 by Hellomrstuffie

[Guest Bunnyblossom]

Noooooooo. That's bleh spending xmas alone. He didn't even message once?

I know Daddies can be busy, but I'd be upset too if my SO didn't take the time to make sure I felt alright if they weren't available to spend the whole day with me (txting, talking, whatever). Because I would do that for him if it were the other way around.

 

I'm sorries. That's a poop way to spend the holidays.

 

This is happening to me too ;-; it's a LDR and daddy rarely chats with me. I tried to talk to him about it many times but he always says that he has alot of work to do... He didn't even give me any attention on Christmas.. I spent it all alone ;-;

[MadameButterfly]

I'm going through something similar right now. My daddy/husband works mon-fri but he started going back to school recently and he has 4 classes he goes to, which hasn't been horribly bad but even when he's home now he spends a lot of time doing school work, so it's definitely been less daddy/princess time.