;-; im scared to find a caregiver because im way too much work

[Guest Cutecumber]

I am so super duper scared to find a CG/Daddy because they will get annoyed at me. Im too cuddly and have some twust issues..I just feel like Im gonna be fowever awone. Why am I like this???

[Guest SilverStar88]

When you find the right one, you will be just perfect for him

[DaddyRaven]

everyone has issues they bring to a relationship; don' tlet that scare you.  

[MonteCristo]

What you feel are imperfections can be perfections in someone else's eyes. You'll never know if you don't try!

[Antoinette]

If you don't feel emotionally ready for a relationship then you probably aren't.

Just keep working on yourself until you are.

[alotalittle]

Like DaddyRaven said, everyone has baggage and issues that they bring into their relationships. No one is an exception to that. Your future partner will also have baggage and issues that you both will need to work through as well. The most important part is willingness to work on those issues together and learning how to grow together rather than apart. You'll find someone (or possibly many someones throughout your lifetime) that will teach you things about yourself and help you grow, and that you will teach and help them grow too. 

 

If you've got some problems that you feel are really affecting your life even without a partner, then it might be a good idea to take some time to work on them. It's important to learn how to take care of ourselves and how to deal with some of our own problems before carrying them into a relationship. For mental health and/or physical health problems, it may be a good idea to seek out professional help from a doctor or therapist. For more basic, day-to-day issues that you'd like to improve on, it may be a good idea to write down some goals or things you'd like to accomplish eventually and then form a plan to slowly achieve them. Self-improvement is a never-ending journey in life that we should all be participating in, but don't forget that self-love is huge part of that journey.

 

Break things down into small steps of improvement, take genuine care of yourself (mind, body, and soul in whatever ratios work best for you), and approach things in life with patience and kindness whenever possible. 

[Guest blumonkey]

As a DD, I'd be a bit disappointed getting onboard just after you got your life in order. Some DDs would agree that getting a little's life in order is part of the bonding process.

[Antoinette]

As a DD, I'd be a bit disappointed getting onboard just after you got your life in order. Some DDs would agree that getting a little's life in order is part of the bonding process.

If a little, or anyone for that matter, isn't emotionally stable the chances are they're not ready for a serious relationship. 'Getting your life in order' is generally something you have to do alone or else it won't be sustainable - bonding process or not. 

[MonteCristo]

If a little, or anyone for that matter, isn't emotionally stable the chances are they're not ready for a serious relationship. 'Getting your life in order' is generally something you have to do alone or else it won't be sustainable - bonding process or not. 

I'm not sure what you mean by emotional instability. For many people, a poor self-image is a lifelong issue that certainly can't be solved. Relationships often alleviate or blur a lot of self-image problems simply by filling the need of being wanted and appreciated. And trust issues can only be resolved by confronting those issues in the proceeding relationship.

[DaddyNewYork]

I'm also scared to find a little.

[SkunkPrincess]

Don't worry hun. Most daddies LOVE to spend their time on a little with issues. Daddies love to take care of a little one and it is their deed to help them and give them the attention they need. It is for both little and caregiver a new adventure to learn! Also, you are not alone!!! There are a lot of little's and even daddies and mommies who have their issues. Nobody is perfect!

[Antoinette]

I'm not sure what you mean by emotional instability. For many people, a poor self-image is a lifelong issue that certainly can't be solved. Relationships often alleviate or blur a lot of self-image problems simply by filling the need of being wanted and appreciated. And trust issues can only be resolved by confronting those issues in the proceeding relationship.

Trust issues can be solved without being in a relationship - what an absurd claim? I myself struggled with trust issues for a long time and the only thing that would help me was to find the root cause myself. 

 

If somebody is emotionally unstable they are usually subject to emotionally unstable behavior - agreed? Now. If you want a healthy relationship you probably want to be healthy yourself first.

 

Yes, relationships can help with a lot of emotional problems, a problem shared a problem halved and all that jazz but what I'm saying is if you entirely rely on your caregiver 'fixing' you because it's a part of the 'bonding process' you're not going to fix your problems in the long run; whether we like it or not most relationships usually don't last forever - so what happens when that person you depend on for you emotional stability isn't there?

 

If you have poor self-image more often than not you don't love yourself and disagree if you'd like but how on Earth can you love someone else if you don't love yourself? Poor self-image can be overcome in most cases with proper professional help, once again evaluating why the problem is there and small steps you can take to ensure you stay emotionally stable.

 

Unfortunately, as much as people like to believe, little's don't (or at least in my opinion shouldn't) rely on their caregivers for keeping their emotional stability or happiness at a neutral/above average level - but hey what do I know, maybe we should rely on them for every little single thing.

Edited May 3, 2017 by xAntoinette

[nitefallenstar13]

I'm sorry but you are coming across very passive/aggressive Antoinette and this isn't even my post and it's making me uncomfortable and feel like absolute shit. Who are you to say that your path to healing is the only way and the right way? Some of us prefer not to seek "professional help" like I do because they have had many negative outcomes from previous tries. As far as your claim that you can't love another if you don't love yourself. Well I call that bullshit. Maybe you can't but I can. Next time when you have an opinion please voice it with regards to others emotions and not just your own. The anger coming from your words is very resonating and for someone who claims they have self love so they now hold the potential to love others well you don't sound very loving or nice at all.

[Guest mlkykit]

I'm sorry but you are coming across very passive/aggressive Antoinette and this isn't even my post and it's making me uncomfortable and feel like absolute shit. Who are you to say that your path to healing is the only way and the right way? Some of us prefer not to seek "professional help" like I do because they have had many negative outcomes from previous tries. As far as your claim that you can't love another if you don't love yourself. Well I call that bullshit. Maybe you can't but I can. Next time when you have an opinion please voice it with regards to others emotions and not just your own. The anger coming from your words is very resonating and for someone who claims they have self love so they now hold the potential to love others well you don't sound very loving or nice at all.

 

I'm sorry...but what? 

 

If someone is emotionally unstable and has trust issues despite there being no reason to doubt their partner, the best and healthy choice is to seek professional help to get to the root of the problem and hence, find ways to solve it. No relationship can solve internal issues, that's not what a Caregiver or romantic partner is for. No one's purpose on earth, or on this forum for that matter, is to be someone else's adult unless that person is their child - and since that is not the case here - the OP is expected to be their own adult and get help if they truly need it. As for whether or not one can love another without loving themselves, that's up for debate; personally, I can't see a healthy or happy relationship where there are baseless trust issues and self-hate on one side. Again, your partner is not responsible for solving your internal issues.

 

Being a Little or having issues in life negates absolutely no one from taking responsibility for themselves. If you've identified that you have a problem, then it is your responsibility to take care of that problem. The people here can only lend advice and a listening ear. The OP has asked for help and they've gotten very good suggestions on how to go about solving the problem they have. No one here is obligated to pat anyone's back because of "feelings" or "emotions" or pussyfoot around anything because someone may be unable to handle objective truth or suggestions. If that is the case and they do feel that way, perhaps they shouldn't ask for help on a public forum.

 

Instead of being so concerned about being offended on someone's behalf and tone policing, perhaps you can also chime in on how the OP can healthily seek help.

Edited May 3, 2017 by mlkykit

[Guest Cutecumber]

I would just like to say that I never said I was emotionally unstable.. I am just hesitant to lose more people I care about, ya feel?

 

It is making me uncomfortable that this has taken a bit of a negative tone.

 

BUT you all mean well and its okay, I'm not feeling too violent,

[Antoinette]

I'm sorry but you are coming across very passive/aggressive Antoinette and this isn't even my post and it's making me uncomfortable and feel like absolute shit. Who are you to say that your path to healing is the only way and the right way? Some of us prefer not to seek "professional help" like I do because they have had many negative outcomes from previous tries. As far as your claim that you can't love another if you don't love yourself. Well I call that bullshit. Maybe you can't but I can. Next time when you have an opinion please voice it with regards to others emotions and not just your own. The anger coming from your words is very resonating and for someone who claims they have self love so they now hold the potential to love others well you don't sound very loving or nice at all.

 

 

I'm not angry at all - in fact you're the one cussing at me and being passive aggressive. The person I was replying to literally was the person that claimed there was only one way to solve trust issues. I NEVER CLAIMED THERE WAS ONLY ONE WAY. 

 

I don't have to be pedantic about my choice of words in fear of offending somebody who may not fully agree - nothing I said was offensive or directly targeting or harassing anybody and the fact that you're the one being rude to me is telling.

 

The tone of my writing wasn't angry at all - just because you interpreted it that way doesn't mean it was. You could have been civil and messaged me privately about this but instead you write a public post cussing and being vulgar all because you perceived my writing to have a tone that it very clearly didn't have. 

 

Not everybody with problems is ready or will ever be at a place where they feel comfortable with professional help. I understand this - I never said I didn't. I'd love to talk psychology with you if you'd like, it's an area of specialty for me but I'll only do it privately and if you don't try to police how I should and shouldn't write my opinions. I'm always up for a debate but being genuinely rude isn't something I'll stand for. 

 

I'm no longer commenting on this matter on this forum publicly because OP feels uncomfortable so if you would like to continue this chat feel free to message me privately.