Pushing boundaries

[SweetSubmissive]

[Sophie]

You shouldn't have to "wiggle out" of the situation. Did you tell him you're uncomfortable with it? You can't let him pressure you into doing things you're not ready for.

 

Also, the "Personals" section is for people looking for a little/caregiver. I moved your thread to "DDLG Discussion" since it fits better here. 

[MrAsphyxiation]

You shouldn't have to "wiggle out" of the situation. Did you tell him you're uncomfortable with it? You can't let him pressure you into doing things you're not ready for.

 

Also, the "Personals" section is for people looking for a little/caregiver. I moved your thread to "DDLG Discussion" since it fits better here. 

Your partner or caregiver should care for you no matter what. He should love you for who you are! If you don't feel comfortable wearing diapers then he should respect that, and not pressure you. He should acknowledge the efforts you are putting in to pleasing him, for example negotiating with pulls ups.

You need to stay strong and tell him that he needs to respect your comfort and wait until you are ready.

[Mr Dawn]

I will answer in two aspects : D/s dynamic (if you think that apply to you).

And only "regression" (without power exchange) dynamic (if you think that apply to you)

 

On the D/s dynamic :

The questions you have to answer by yourself is : do you practice edgeplay (i will explain after) and in which zone do you put diapers.

 

Edgeplay, is playing closer to the limits than to the comfort zone, it's a place where you can say "I like because I don't really like" I take pleasure in being forced, or pushed further.

 

By the way edgeplay is usually described in 3 zones : 

1. it's what please you to do because it is in your comfort, or your pleasant zone.
Call that zone "green" zone.

 

2. it's the zone where you're in discomfort , but you can take pleasure to be forced (physically or mentally) to do something, or take pleasure to do it for the pleasure of somebody else.
Call that zone "orange" Zone.

 

3.the third zone is the zone where you feel really bad in, you don't take pleasure to do it, even when you're forced to and that makes you feel terrible, or very bad.
Call that zone "red" zone. its the hard limits.

 

In this aspect where are diapers for you (only you can answer) ? If orange, go try it, but use a safeword.
Red : don't try it, you can hurt yourself if you do it.

 

On the "regression" side: 
are diapers a regression trigger for your little side?

But it seems it's not the case for you.

 

But the aspect of somebody taking care of you, can it help trigger your little side, even if the diaper is not in your comfort zone ?

 

If yes : try it, if not :

Everybody has the right to have limits,

if something has a risk to make you suffer, even if your partner really wants you try it,  Say no.

 

[SweetSubmissive]

Ah thank you Sophie I was all confused and what not and of course I have told him how I feel but the subject always finds its way into our conversations

[SweetSubmissive]

I will answer in two aspects : D/s dynamic (if you think that apply to you).

And only "regression" (without power exchange) dynamic (if you think that apply to you)

 

On the D/s dynamic :

 

The questions you have to answer by yourself is : do you practice edgeplay (i will explain after) and in which zone do you put diapers.

 

Edgeplay, is playing closer to the limits than to the comfort zone, it's a place where you can say "I like because I don't really like" I take pleasure in being forced, or pushed further.

 

By the way edgeplay is usually described in 3 zones :

1. it's what please you to do because it is in your comfort, or your pleasant zone.

Call that zone "green" zone.

 

2. it's the zone where you're in discomfort , but you can take pleasure to be forced (physically or mentally) to do something, or take pleasure to do it for the pleasure of somebody else.

Call that zone "orange" Zone.

 

3.the third zone is the zone where you feel really bad in, you don't take pleasure to do it, even when you're forced to and that makes you feel terrible, or very bad.

Call that zone "red" zone. its the hard limits.

 

In this aspect where are diapers for you (only you can answer) ? If orange, go try it, but use a safeword.

Red : don't try it, you can hurt yourself if you do it.

 

On the "regression" side:

are diapers a regression trigger for your little side?

But it seems it's not the case for you.

 

But the aspect of somebody taking care of you, can it help trigger your little side, even if the diaper is not in your comfort zone ?

 

If yes : try it, if not :

 

Everybody has the right to have limits,

if something has a risk to make you suffer, even if your partner really wants you try it, Say no.

he'd never force me into them but I feel pressured, it's more for him than me

[Mr Dawn]

If you think that it will be too hard for you :
Say : it's in my hard limits. I won't do it, please stop asking me for it, if i can one day i will say it to you.

 

If he doesn't understand,and ask again : explain : Consent is the basis on the SSC and Rack, if i don't consent it's an abuse.

And if  he emotionally blackmails you  ("I really need it, you're awfull", or something like "If you don't do it, i cannot stay with you")
LEAVE IT !

Nobody has the right to make you feel bad, just because you want to have limits.

[SweetSubmissive]

Thank you

[Guest Sae]

Talk to him and tell him to respect your boundaries. There are lots of things I'd like to do that Daddy isn't into, there are lots of things Daddy is into that I am not. In a relationship not everything you want to have happen, happens. Reality is a thing.  Please don't sacrifice your limits for him to be happy.

 

Talk to him that you aren't okay with the topic and you'd like him to stop bringing it up. 

[BH_Bambi]

Sir and I have a compromise. Bathroom control, and the threat of nappies (we're in the UK haha) are reserved as a strict punishment for me. They're not a limit, but I very much dislike the idea. Something like that might work for you?

[SweetSubmissive]

Sir and I have a compromise. Bathroom control, and the threat of nappies (we're in the UK haha) are reserved as a strict punishment for me. They're not a limit, but I very much dislike the idea. Something like that might work for you?

That's not a bad idea but I don't think he wants me to see it as a punishment. He wants me to enjoy being in them the same way he enjoys seeing me in them

[tamsinkitten]

I'm having sort of a dilemma with Daddy and I'm not to sure what to...ya see he wants me in diapers and I'm not really comfortable with them but I've been negotiating with pulls up which again I'm still not fully comfortable with. I know that to him it would mean so much if I wore them but I'm just not ready to be thrown out of my comfort zone just like that.

 

My Daddy also wanted me to try diapers. I personally was not interested in wearing diapers and it was not something I liked. But unlike you, I didn't feel it was really out of my comfort zone.

So I agreed to sometimes be put in diapers by my Daddy. At first, it felt kinda weird and I found diapers unpractical. I was scared people would notice and I had to find clothes which would hide them well. So I didn't really like wearing them, I was happy to wear them for Daddy, but I really prefered not wearing and was glad when I didn't.

 

But later I started to like being diapered. I never really liked diapers but I started to get used to being taken care of by my Daddy. It made me feel safe and 'little'. So now, when I feel little, I enjoy sometimes wearing diapers.

But again it was never something really out of my comfort zone. If you think you may be able to try without feeling really bad, then talk about it with him, tell him you'd really like to try cause you know it's important for him, but that he'll have to be patient and help you to try small things first. If pull ups seem alright to you, but diapers don't, then you should wait until you feel ready and if you never feel ready he should accept it.

 

When my Daddy sees I'm not comfortable with something, he always tells me it's fine and that I must never be affraid to put it in my hard limits list, even if it's something he was interested in. 

 

He's really into ABDL which I'm fine with and would never wanna change but I'm not sure how to wiggle around this situation, help ?

 

 If you would never wanna change him, he should never wanna change you either. If it's something you're really not comfortable with, he should accept it.

 

 

That's not a bad idea but I don't think he wants me to see it as a punishment. He wants me to enjoy being in them the same way he enjoys seeing me in them

 

If he wants you to enjoy it too, he should not try to always bring up the subject. If he puts pressure on you on this subject, it certainly won't help you to enjoy it.

 

 

I hope you and your Daddy will sort things out, and if you have other questions, you can message me.

[PeppermintBatty]

I'm crazy about diapers. I wear them every day.

But I'm also pretty crazy.

I can understand why a crinkly fashion statement might make you uncomfortable. You should really consider not wearing them unless you are ready to deal with them. Don't let anyone pressure you into something that makes you uncomfortable.

 

At the same time, if it would help your relationship, you might want to consider trying them and making more concrete boundries to deal with. Maybe the concept of wearing pull ups doesn't really bother you but the concept of using them does? Maybe in that case you can be like "I WILL NEVER DO X IN THIS CLOTHING." Having good boundries like that is important, and exploring what you're comfortable with while not being pressured is better.

 

I mean, to me it's just underwear but I know it's kinda weirder than that.

 

GOod luck!