The Term 'Fake Daddy'

[Mikaitaku]

Fake daddy has become an umbrella term for whatever doesn't fit into a certain littles certain ideals.

 

Also please don't make connotations to sexual DD/lg and pedophilia, I'm a CSA survivor and the connection is not only absurd but completely wrong. 

 

You can be a daddy and want casual sex, everybody is different. 

 

And on a final note please don't bring how I use my DD/lg dynamic into my opinions and observations of the community as a whole - it's not relevant. 

Just because you feel it has become an umbrella term does not make it so, nor does it make it non-existent. Actually making connotations between purely sexual DDLG and pedophilia is the only logical way to see it when you sexualize what it means to be little that is the only logical and reasonable place you can go, after all you are sexualizing things that relate to being a little girl and is what attracts those types of fake daddies. Also you can claim being a "CSA survivor" but that does not mean it is a very trustworthy claim considering you claim to put yourself in the position of reliving it.

 

also on a final note, bring how dangerous you are to the way the DDLG dynamic is totally relevant because this is a public forum and anyone can read it and see your sexualition of the dynamic and be lead to and further the wrong impression about the dynamic. 

 

if that is what you want that is your business but you should keep it out of a pubic forum because it is dangerous and harmful to the rest of us 

[alotalittle]

Also you can claim being a "CSA survivor" but that does not mean it is a very trustworthy claim considering you claim to put yourself in the position of reliving it.

 

also on a final note, bring how dangerous you are to the way the DDLG dynamic is totally relevant because this is a public forum and anyone can read it and see your sexualition of the dynamic and be lead to and further the wrong impression about the dynamic. 

 

I don't want to overstep...but this comment really concerns me. I'm a CSA survivor and my partner is as well. It's a very sensitive subject for me, and for many others on this forum. To say that CSA survivors shouldn't be participating in this dynamic in a sexual manner because it "puts us in a position of reliving it" is extremely inappropriate and doesn't have anything to do with the topic at hand. Pedophilia and child abuse are NOT related to DDlg. Pedophilia and child abuse relates ONLY to people abusing/sexualizing real life children/minors.

 

Please do not dismiss those of us who have gone through CSA. Please do not say that our identities as CGs/littles/switches are invalid because you believe it "puts us in a position of reliving it". And please understand that I'm saying these things out of love for our community and love for those of us who have gone through CSA.

 

I think this post has provided a lot of discussion and debate (which I believe is a good thing), but I don't want to see anyone getting hurt.

[Antoinette]

Just because you feel it has become an umbrella term does not make it so, nor does it make it non-existent. Actually making connotations between purely sexual DDLG and pedophilia is the only logical way to see it when you sexualize what it means to be little that is the only logical and reasonable place you can go, after all you are sexualizing things that relate to being a little girl and is what attracts those types of fake daddies. Also you can claim being a "CSA survivor" but that does not mean it is a very trustworthy claim considering you claim to put yourself in the position of reliving it.

 

also on a final note, bring how dangerous you are to the way the DDLG dynamic is totally relevant because this is a public forum and anyone can read it and see your sexualition of the dynamic and be lead to and further the wrong impression about the dynamic. 

 

if that is what you want that is your business but you should keep it out of a pubic forum because it is dangerous and harmful to the rest of us 

When did I claim it was non-existent? I didn't. Fake daddy has become an umbrella term, like it or not people DO in fact use the term for a wide range of reasons that don't fall under predatory behaviour. 

 

I'm a big girl, I do not need anybody to validate the pain I went through. I do not currently experience any trauma due to my past nor do I enjoy victimising myself. Also, while I do feel like this comment was merely a personal jab I would like to add that all my life my abuse has been called a lie; I don't need your validation - you are not the judge that sent my abuser to jail, you are not the doctor that observed me and confirmed that I had been abused. You're not in a position to make claims that are unsubstantiated.

 

Nobody but you brought sexual DD/lg into this and I don't even use DD/lg sexually so stop assuming things. It is not logical and reasonable to make a link between two adults that have a kink and an adult abusing a child - that's not logical. 

 

I am not dangerous to the DD/lg dynamic (although saying THE DD/lg dynamic is absurd, there is no one way to play out the dynamic) but it is quite cute that you think so. As aforesaid, I have not sexualised DD/lg in any way whatsoever here.

 

One final note, I find it quite amusing and absurd how you can treat my abuse with skepticism as I am someone who has an opposing viewpoint to you but of course you cannot confront your 'fake daddy' bias with skepticism. 

 

Please don't get into a battle of wits and logic with me and just throw unsubstantiated claims around - it's embarrassing. 

[Guest mlkykit]

Just because you feel it has become an umbrella term does not make it so, nor does it make it non-existent. Actually making connotations between purely sexual DDLG and pedophilia is the only logical way to see it when you sexualize what it means to be little that is the only logical and reasonable place you can go, after all you are sexualizing things that relate to being a little girl and is what attracts those types of fake daddies. Also you can claim being a "CSA survivor" but that does not mean it is a very trustworthy claim considering you claim to put yourself in the position of reliving it.

 

also on a final note, bring how dangerous you are to the way the DDLG dynamic is totally relevant because this is a public forum and anyone can read it and see your sexualition of the dynamic and be lead to and further the wrong impression about the dynamic. 

 

if that is what you want that is your business but you should keep it out of a pubic forum because it is dangerous and harmful to the rest of us 

 

1. It has become an umbrella term whether or not you'd like to admit or acknowledge it. Some Littles use it for just about any Daddy who doesn't fit their standards of what a Daddy should be. When, most of the time, all it means is that they aren't compatible with each other. Different persons approach the role differently.

 

2. DD/LG is very sexualized, again whether or not you like to admit or acknowledge it. Some people do in fact only see and use it as a sexual kink and do not live it 24/7. Again, everyone will approach the dynamic differently and that does not make them a paedophile. Paedophiles are not attracted to adult bodies, they are attracted to prepubescent and pubescent children up to the age of 16. Before attaching titles to everyone who doesn't fit your cookie-cutter mold of what a Daddy is, maybe you should do some research first.

 

3. I can't speak for Antoinette, but who are you to tell her whether or not her claim is true? It's not even relevant to your argument. Stick to the facts and issue at hand.

 

4. Again, people do sexualize the dynamic. It's a thing that's done; You don't have to admit it for it to be true. Also, you're no more a Daddy just because you don't sexualize DD/LG. Humans are sexual beings, it happens.

 

5. Can't speak for Antoinette, but this is a public forum. She can post whatever she likes as long as it doesn't breach forum rules. Just because you can't get jiggy with the post, doesn't mean it shouldn't be there. You're an adult, not a child. Avoid what you don't like. No one here is going to stifle themselves just because you can't handle differing opinions.

 

What you're doing is literally the definition of "One True Wayism". Not everyone will approach the dynamic the way you do. Not everyone is non-sexual, and you're no better just because you might be. I also fail to see how sexualizing DD/LG gives way to paedophilia when it involves consenting adults. Yes, there are some asshats out there who will use it to prey on whoever, but call them what they are; PREDATORS. People are not defined by titles but by actions. The term 'fake Daddy' is so watered down and useless. There is often no basis for it, because again, some Littles use the term for just about anyone who doesn't fit the mold of their ideal Daddy. 

 

If you're so concerned about safety, how about teaching young and new Littles how to slow their roll and not jump too fast into relationships? Some of these Littles will jump into a relationship will any Tom, Dick, Harry and Jane just because they carry the title of "Daddy" without knowing Tom, Dick, Harry or Jane for even a week. How about teaching them how to use basic common sense and reasoning skills? Instead of advocating for the usage of a useless, watered-down term, how about not pretending that Littles are incapable of being sensible adults constantly in need of protection. Further, if they encounter a sexual predator over the internet, there's a big shiny "report" button and an equally shiny "block" button that they have unlimited access to. Encourage them to use those instead of crying "FAKE DADDY" all the time. That solves literally nothing.

 

We don't need a useless term and soft-bellied children. We need people who'll behave like sensible adults and who'll actually actively do something about issues.

Edited April 28, 2017 by mlkykit

[Mikaitaku]

I don't want to overstep...but this comment really concerns me. I'm a CSA survivor and my partner is as well. It's a very sensitive subject for me, and for many others on this forum. To say that CSA survivors shouldn't be participating in this dynamic in a sexual manner because it "puts us in a position of reliving it" is extremely inappropriate and doesn't have anything to do with the topic at hand. Pedophilia and child abuse are NOT related to DDlg. Pedophilia and child abuse relates ONLY to people abusing/sexualizing real life children/minors.

 

Please do not dismiss those of us who have gone through CSA. Please do not say that our identities as CGs/littles/switches are invalid because you believe it "puts us in a position of reliving it". And please understand that I'm saying these things out of love for our community and love for those of us who have gone through CSA.

 

I think this post has provided a lot of discussion and debate (which I believe is a good thing), but I don't want to see anyone getting hurt.

I make a habit of not taking the claims of people seriously who I perceive to act in a manner that would indicate the opposite espically when they than turn to passive aggressiveness. Pedophilia and child abuse of course are not related to DDLG but certain actions such as sexualizing the act of being little makes the connection seem to be the case to the outside world. Again this is a public forum and every post can be seen without an account. 

 

I will dismiss thought I don't trust and those who seem keen to invalidate others but get upset when they themselves called on it. 

 

I stand by my belief that the bad rap ddlg has is mainly from those who use it purely for sex, and that the sooner we distance ourselves from people like that the sooner the image of the dynamic will become better.

[Johnny Hammersticks]

Jeez, Take it to pm guys, nobody wants to read about this disturbing stuff on a public forum that's trying to be legitimate. This negativity is Killin me...

[Guest mlkykit]

I make a habit of not taking the claims of people seriously who I perceive to act in a manner that would indicate the opposite espically when they than turn to passive aggressiveness. Pedophilia and child abuse of course are not related to DDLG but certain actions such as sexualizing the act of being little makes the connection seem to be the case to the outside world. Again this is a public forum and every post can be seen without an account. 

 

I will dismiss thought I don't trust and those who seem keen to invalidate others but get upset when they themselves called on it. 

 

I stand by my belief that the bad rap ddlg has is mainly from those who use it purely for sex, and that the sooner we distance ourselves from people like that the sooner the image of the dynamic will become better.

 

Also, let me just add this one little tidbid. DD/LG's bad reputation doesn't stem wholly or mostly from the fact that it's sexualized by some; The bad reputation comes from the fact that it involves adults behaving like children which, unless that adult has a mental retardation, is considered "weird" and out-of-place by wider society. 

 

To test what I said above, I dare you up to your local neighbour who knows nothing about BDSM, kink etc. and tell them that you're involved in DD/LG then tell them all of what DD/LG entails and see how it works out for you. I'll be waiting for the results.

[Antoinette]

I make a habit of not taking the claims of people seriously who I perceive to act in a manner that would indicate the opposite espically when they than turn to passive aggressiveness. Pedophilia and child abuse of course are not related to DDLG but certain actions such as sexualizing the act of being little makes the connection seem to be the case to the outside world. Again this is a public forum and every post can be seen without an account. 

 

I will dismiss thought I don't trust and those who seem keen to invalidate others but get upset when they themselves called on it. 

 

I stand by my belief that the bad rap ddlg has is mainly from those who use it purely for sex, and that the sooner we distance ourselves from people like that the sooner the image of the dynamic will become better.

 

Perhaps you should make a habit of also sticking to objectivity and truths instead of unsubstantiated opinions.

 

Yes, because people who don't understand the DD/lg dynamic give it a bad wrap let's kick out the sexual people, right? Let's alienate our allies, right? Let's do all that to appease people that will have a problem regardless of the sexual nature of DD/lg.

 

DD/lg is rooted in sexual behaviour whether you like it or not - it's a part of BDSM. 

 

ONCE AGAIN YOU DO NOT KNOW MY DD/LG DYNAMIC THEREFORE YOU CANNOT ASSUME IF I 'ACT OPPOSITELY'. Also, like I said before I do not need you to validate my experiences. 

 

It's almost as though you're writing about yourself in some parts - you invalidated my abuse because you don't like my opinions. That's it. Plain and simple. But yet I'm invalidating you... How? 

 

Distance yourself from whoever you'd like but don't speak for what the whole community should do, you're not in control of what DD/lg consists of as a whole.

 

If you'd like to discuss this specific matter further feel free to message me but it has swayed from the original intent of the forum - I'd be more than happy to exchange ideas objectively but if you're just going to deny my abuse and make subjective statements don't bother, I don't often enjoy debating with brick walls.

[Guest Georgia-Daddy2]

If I could like hug you for making this post I would it's one of my favorite posts and literally just made my day thank you

[Antoinette]

If I could like hug you for making this post I would it's one of my favorite posts and literally just made my day thank you

*hugs hugs hugs* I'm glad