Problems

[Guest LittleKenzie1]

so i have a slight problem with meeting fake daddies, there should be a thing where you have to prove you are a real CG before you start to toy with a littles heart, think about it. i hate getting hurt, and im sure lots of other littles have this problem! i dont mean this in a mean way, i mean this as an im sickof fakies type of way

[Guest Ginger]

There's really no way to definitively prove they're a 'real' CG or not, just like there's no true way to determine if you're really a Little. It just takes time to be able to sort out the fakes from the real ones, as irritating as that is. It comes with time and experience. There's usually red flags you can look for though, such as asking straight off the bat for nudes, demanding you call him Daddy or he immediately calls you by a nickname, gets upset if you don't comply with his demands immediately, calls you a 'bad little', things of that nature.

 

Sorry this happened to you though

[Guest LittleKenzie1]

There's really no way to definitively prove they're a 'real' CG or not, just like there's no true way to determine if you're really a Little. It just takes time to be able to sort out the fakes from the real ones, as irritating as that is. It comes with time and experience. There's usually red flags you can look for though, such as asking straight off the bat for nudes, demanding you call him Daddy or he immediately calls you by a nickname, gets upset if you don't comply with his demands immediately, calls you a 'bad little', things of that nature.

 

Sorry this happened to you though

i didnt think of that.... thank you! but no need to apologize not your fault, but thank you!

[HisPwincess]

Some guys aren't comfortable with the ddlg prospect.. As Ginger said, looking for red flags is important, communication is always important too, maybe he doesn't know how to properly act like a daddy? Talk with whoever you'd want your cg to be, let them fully know what you'd want from your ddlg relationship so they know how to handle it. Getting hurt is always the worse feeling :c I'm sorry this happened as well

[alotalittle]

Personally, I think it's important to build foundations of a relationship outside of the DDlg aspect of things. If you can build a real friendship, real companionship, and a real connection, it makes building up the DDlg dynamic significantly easier. There's nothing wrong with both of you being upfront about eventually wanting that dynamic, but jumping into it very quickly often leads to heartbreak, miscommunication, or the realization that the CG or lg isn't as genuine as you hoped they'd be. Red flags apply to all kinds of different dynamics and should always be considered when starting a relationship/connection with someone. The things that Ginger listed are good basic rules of weeding out "bad daddies". 

 

Additionally, there's no reason why you shouldn't be nurturing your own little side too. Having a CG is really nice, but your little side is important and you should be your little side's greatest protector and nurturer. Don't let someone become your CG until you really feel that you can trust them (and don't try to get someone to be your CG until they really trust you as well). 

 

Slow things down. Take your time. Show yourself and others plenty of patience and kindness. 

[Antoinette]

Oh yea, just like there should be a criteria of how to be a 'real little', right? Ehhh. 

I hate the term 'fake daddy' because you don't get to decide what somebody else is into or how they label themselves. Just because a daddy doesn't fit your ideals of how a daddy should or shouldn't act does not, I repeat does not make them a 'fake daddy'. 

 

In reality who are any of we to say that someone else isn't a dominant or a submissive? We do not have that right, just because you're in the community too doesn't mean you have the moral high ground because you practice BDSM the 'proper way' there is no proper way - if everything is safe, sane and consensual it's fine.

[Mikaitaku]

Oh yea, just like there should be a criteria of how to be a 'real little', right? Ehhh. 

 

I hate the term 'fake daddy' because you don't get to decide what somebody else is into or how they label themselves. Just because a daddy doesn't fit your ideals of how a daddy should or shouldn't act does not, I repeat does not make them a 'fake daddy'. 

 

In reality who are any of we to say that someone else isn't a dominant or a submissive? We do not have that right, just because you're in the community too doesn't mean you have the moral high ground because you practice BDSM the 'proper way' there is no proper way - if everything is safe, sane and consensual it's fine.

the big difference is that there are infinite ways of being little, and not so many ways of being a daddy. 

 

the best way to avoid fake daddies is to learn how to spot predatory red flags and not rush into a relationship