Daddy choosing when he wants to be a daddydom

[bbwkitty]

Hi Everyone, I have a query. I am committed to a ddlg relationship, but I am the only one that is giving it my all. The man who is my "daddy", only wants to be that way once every 2 months - when he wants sex. The rest of the time my needs are ignored & if I push the subject, or act like a little he gets defensive & comes up with a multitude of reasons why he isn't interested. This has been going on for over 12 months. My question is this - am I wasting my time or should I keep perservering?

[Guest Little_Miss]

Without me knowing all the details, I would try to have a calm conversation with him about it to see why he only wants to do it every 2 months or if he would be willing to do it more than that if that is what you want. Would be good to think about what you would really like or would be willing to compromise on. Is it that you want more time with him being a daddy or you want him to be a non-sexual daddy as well? Be clear on what you would like and find out exactly what he wants or likes or would be willing to try. 

 

If he is not open to discussing things at all then he doesn't sound so good or daddy-like at all. Both people should be happy in the relationship and be able to talk about what they want and any problems they have. 

 

So short answer what would you ideally like and what does your daddy ideally like? Are you both willing to try to make things work for each other?

[Guest QueenJellybean]

To be honest, this comes down to a lot of what was said above. 

 

If this is something that is only in the bedroom for him, but a lifestyle choice for you, you may not be compatible for each other, and that's okay! It sounds like you guys aren't on similar wavelengths, and I can't imagine how being ignored or feeling like your needs are being neglected feels other than terrible. It's time to have a conversation with him and tell him exactly what you want out of a relationship, and find out what he wants too --- even if it seems kind of obvious right now. If your interests don't align, it's not fair to either one of you to stay. 

[Antoinette]

In before everyone starts calling him a fake daddy, he's not just btw.

You just both have different needs when it comes to the dynamic. It sounds like you're both not on the same page and to be honest, if he's not into it non-sexually I don't see you being able to convince him. If you haven't be able to within this time it seems kind of hopeless in my opinion. Like someone said above, it is worth asking if a non-sexual caregiver could be an option but both people have to be okay with it. It does seem like in this aspect you're not compatible because you are clearly wanting/needing more from the relationship and it's not being provided; if you keep putting all your energy into trying to make him be something he isn't not only will it be tiring for you but also him - you can't make him be something he isn't, it's not fair.

[Nymph]

I agree you guys are not on the same page.

 

The question is, how important is the lifestyle for you? is it just nice to have? is it an actual need? if it's a need then you will have to move on. Same with sex, are you ok with having it only every 2 months? do you think you could continue like this for many years to come? 

 

Now lets be reasonable, that immediate decision should only come if it's always been like this, but if he is stressed due work or school that might be affecting his normal behavior sometimes you just need to be patient. Depending on his personality you might need to be very direct and vocal about it or just nudge him in the right direction, too many variables to guess without knowing for me.

 

I do wonder what are those multitude of reasons he is giving you, since you did not call them excuses then they might be somewhat realistic? whatever they are, it's not cool that you are clear about your needs not being met and him just ignoring them, do you think his needs are being met?

[IchigoHime]

My short answer based off given statements: You're wasting your time trying to push something he doesn't want onto him.

 

My long answer: It's not a bad thing that he only sees it as a bedroom thing, if you want to stay with him that is something you will have to accept. Is being with him worth not having a 24/7 DDlg lifestyle? That's something you can only answer.

[Princess-P]

Sounds like CG/l is just a roll play for him. Nothing wrong with that. But clearly its more then that to you.

 

Now you can be a little even if your partner is not your caregiver. Just accept that he won't participate in it with you and dont try to make him engage with your little side.

 

If him taking on the roll of Daddy in the bedroom now and then makes you feel sad that he won't do it more often tell him that you can't roll play it anymore because it means more to you and how it makes you feel disappointed.

 

If the idea of having a partner who isn't actively involved in the lifestyle makes you sad or if your not in love with this guy, then break it off and seek someone who fits your needs better.