Splitting up with someone...when you have anxiety

[BabyKittenPaws]

Sooooo. First off I was dating my previous daddy for  a year. we broke up on a mutual desicion and I have been dating someone else, but now me and my ex daddy have decided to get back together. There's one problem for me however: I told him I broke up with this other guy when the truth is, I haven't really yet because every time I go to, I have a panic attack, freak out and just walk away. Help please? I really want to do the right thing in this situation.....?? >.<

[liitlegirl1212]

You could write what you want to say in a letter to him and this way you won't have to tell him face to face. Sometimes I feel like it's better to write it in a letter because when I try and say something and panic I forget what I'm actually trying to say and don't always get it across in the right way but when writing it down I have time to process my thoughts and write down exactly what I want to say in the best way possible. I hope things work out for you, message me if you ever need a friend or want to talk about anything at all. Things will always work out how they're supposed to x

[DeathMetalPrincess]

Honestly, just go with how you feel. Are you happy with your daddy? If so, then you should probably drop the newer guy. Maybe you should evaluate why you and your daddy broke up in the first place, and why you fell for the other guy as well? I think it really depends on how you feel. Give it some time and think about it. Will being with your daddy again be the same or are you simply chasing the feelings have initially gave you? These are all valid things to think about, especially if you have anxiety. I'd really give it some time and just think about it. Most importantly, however, you need to be honest -- not just to yourself -- but to the people involved as well. Having a caregiver is a very intimate thing, much more so than a "vanilla" relationship. It's never easy when you break up with someone or go through a break up in any manner. But like I said, just give it some thought. Take your time and weigh your options. When you're ready to talk about it, it would probably really help to talk to your current partner and your daddy (albeit probably not together). Good luck. I hope it works out for the best. Everything will be ok.

[Guest Candy Minx ♡]

Sooooo. First off I was dating my previous daddy for  a year. we broke up on a mutual desicion and I have been dating someone else, but now me and my ex daddy have decided to get back together. There's one problem for me however: I told him I broke up with this other guy when the truth is, I haven't really yet because every time I go to, I have a panic attack, freak out and just walk away. Help please? I really want to do the right thing in this situation.....?? >.<

 

so are you dating both men at the same time? from your phrasing i can't tell if you

got back together with your ex while dating the other male you speak of. 

 

i'll probably be stepping on some toes but it happens. there are many perspectives

to look at this from, the one that stood out most to me is your inability to successfully

communicate with your partner(s). trust and communication are keys to any type of 

relationship, friend or romantic. if it cant' be done, imho, a relationship can be doomed

from the start. there's also the fact that your first foot off with getting back together with

your ex was to lie to him. and last, is your anxiety problem. 

 

with anxiety, and other issues, it can make talking to people hard. it can make talking

to a crush/SO harder depending on your mindset when you're suffering from it. you

may even need to take a step back and question if you're ready for a relationship 

when you do have trouble talking to your partner and being honest. getting into something

with the first action being lying is somewhat worrisome because there's always a chance

for it to happen again if the base problem(s) isn't taken care of ( aka, communicating, 

anxiety, trust, honesty ). i'm not too sure how to frame just how important honesty and

communication are. if you're able to be honest and communicate, things tend to turn

out better and last longer. always talk. always be open. doesn't matter how you do it,

it just needs to be done. 

 

anxiety is hard as hell to master when it's something you just have, i understand that, i 

suffer with extreme social and general anxiety myself but i don't let it stop me from being

healthy and successful in my ships ( of any kind, my partner is wonderful and works with

me concerning it and for that i'm lucky. ) or at least attempting to be at all times. making

a conscious effort at all times to deal with anxiety isn't easy either but it's doable. there

are lots of healthy coping methods you can google to help you deal with that as a whole 

and not just for something that's happening relationship-wise for you. ( and in some cases

people need medicating to help to inch them along the lines of taking care of it though that

may be your case, may not be. )

 

and at the end of everything, the best way to deal with this situation is somewhat tactfully but 

quickly? not in a disrespectful sense, just because you're balancing two people right now and

while you and your emotions/mental state is important, those other people have feelings too

and definitely have a right to know what's going on. a big part of me is dwelling on how unfair

it is to the other parties you're dealing with. 

 

that being said, the usual suggestion of writing what you want down before you confront 

anyone i can imagine will help a lot. take a few moments to gather your thoughts and calmly

put together what needs to be said to both parties. either reading off of a paper, sending

an e-mail, or speaking directly to said person(s) face. i'd just be honest and tell them both

what happened, right down to lying about breaking up, start fresh and clean and let your

partner decide how they want to handle that bit of information. 

[BabyKittenPaws]

Thanks for taking the time to reply xx