Need Input

[Leo_Ascendent]

So I've seen many posts about DD's hurting their lg's, but not vise versa, and that's the boat I'm in right now.

 

Long story short, my Little said that her first BF had died in an accident involving a drunk driver. I have her my condolenses, seems like the least one can do, no matter how recent or relatable the situation is. She said it was okay, because if he hadn't passed away, I (as in me, Leo) wouldn't be here (as in with her).

 

She said sorry, but part of me is just kinda hurt. I told her how I felt, she said she was sorry. Am I just being sensitive? I dunno....

[Daddy's_Babygirl]

While I understand your pain, trust me I do... in a way she may be right. I don't think she means it in a she loved him more sort of way, but everything plays a role in the future.

 

My Daddy is also my husband. He had a son when we got together whom I love dearly and have adopted as my own. He was also married before. Both of these things bothered me, the mother of his son was not the woman he was married to. I couldn't give him either of these things as his first wife or first born child. That hurt. I, also, had lost my virginity with my ex, so I couldn't give him that, either.

 

My ex hurt me a great deal. He was emotionally and mentally abusive. He was manipulative (which is how he got my virginity, but I gave it up freely). He cheated on me, told me I wasn't good enough, and a slew of other hurtful things. I use to be really angry. But if none of that had happened... I don't think I would have taken a chance on my Daddy. You see... before my ex hurt me I was chasing a cowboy I was never going to get. I was not giving up on him. After my ex.... I gave up on him because I was tired of being hurt, and decided I was worth so much more.

 

My husbands ex wife is the reason his son is here (though not his mother). She hurt my husband a great deal and as a result my husband fell for another woman (once he and his ex were split), who was manipulative. That's how our son got here. Our sons bio mother cheated on my Daddy, he left and was seeking companionship on the same dating site I was seeking a relationship on.

 

All of these events had to happen for us to get together. If any one hadn't... we wouldn't have been where we were at the time that we were.

[Guest Bunnyblossom]

Lil bit sensitive. She just meant you're the good out of the bad, pretty sure. 

 

Edit: That's not to say you're being too sensitive just because you're a Daddy. I mean as a human being- no comparison to anything else. And it's fine to be sensitive too. I just think from what you've said that she didn't mean it negatively, and don't want you to feel bad.

Edited April 23, 2017 by MilkPop

[John_Titor]

I wouldn't worry too much about it. I lost my girlfriend to cancer two years ago, and if that hadn't happened, I would be with her still and not with my little. That doesn't mean I don't love my little more than anything. I loved Chloe, and still do, and I wish she were still here, but it doesn't mean I'm not happy with Sky. I love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her. I'm sure your little feels the same.

[Kara]

I could be totally wrong but, I think what she was trying to do is to tell you even though she had a loss she is grateful that it lead her to you.   She is finding the silver lining and letting you know you are it.  She is not trying to compare or tell you he meant more she is saying that she is glad to be with you.  Hug her tight and move forward from here knowing you mean alot to her.