Could I have some help and suggestions?

[Bloo Bear]

Hey, I'm a little that recently joined this site. My Daddy and I constantly get into fights because I don't act "little enough". If anyone could help.. I would really like to have some suggestions on how to make my Daddy happy with who I am. I feel like a main part of this is my in-expressiveness from being abused in the past before, but if if I want to stay in this relationship, I must grow past it.

 

 

As a side note: We are Currently in a TPE DD/lg, D/s Relationship. We have been together for 8 months and for about 6 of those months he has been begging me to change but I have no clue how.

 

Thanks, 

Bloo Bear

 

Edit: As we are speaking right now he is calling me a robot and that I only do what's directed towards me. I keep telling him to leave me if he feels like this because we have been having so many problems, but he just hits me back with "there isn't anyone else." I think we really need help.

Edited April 23, 2017 by His Little Bloo Bear

[OmegaPeckinpah]

In my opinion a Daddy's job is to encourage his little to be however little they are comfortable with being/are. It sounds kind of like he is abusive honestly, with the way he's talking to you and attempting to force you to be something you are not. It also seems like communication is not working in any way. I think you should leave him, but that is just my opinion... No Daddy should ever act like this towards his little. :/ I wish you luck in getting this figured out (I would consider leaving him).

[Leo_Ascendent]

The fact that he doesn't leave because "there isn't anyone else" is a flag, to me. What if you stay together, and at some point, someone who fits what he wants comes along?

 

Aside from that, what Omega says is true. My Little was uncomfortable BEING a Little, and calling me Daddy. But I supported her, encouraged her, and didn't push her limits. If someone wants you, they will work with you, not get mad and upset that you have limits.

[Bloo Bear]

Nevermind.. My Daddy has broken up with me.

[Guest Bunnyblossom]

Nevermind.. My Daddy has broken up with me.

 

Aww. I'm so sorry.  

That's rough. And you were trying too. 

[Daddy's_Babygirl]

I am so sorry this happened to you, but just from the paragraphs here I see red flags alll over.

 

*You "aren't little enough"

Being little is a state of mind and being. You can't be more little than you are unless YOU want to, not because he wants you to.

 

*past abuse makes you "inexpressive"

While trauma affects everyone, we have to grow past it, which you were trying to do. His inability to work past this with toy shows a lack of caring in my opinion. I flat out suck at communication and my husband and Daddy works with me so that I can communicate more effectively, something that I believe is part of the Daddy role.

 

*staying because there isn't anyone else

This shows that, as Leo said, as soon as "someone better" in his mind came along he would be gone, these thoughts don't just pop up randomly, people dwell on them for awhile usually before they speak them.

 

*begging you to change but not helping or willing to wait

You should never have to change for anyone else. Ever. If you want to change and it's something he wants then he should help with that process. Change takes time, especially with things that are ingrained into us.

 

*calling you a robot

This is hurtful, and mean. Things are said out of anger sometimes, but this kind of comment wasn't at all helpful

 

Please know this breakup wasn't your fault. It wasn't necessarily his, either. Sometimes people just aren't compatible.

[LittleBlackRose]

Nevermind.. My Daddy has broken up with me.

 

I'm really sorry that you are going through this. As others have said there are a lot of red flags in what you wrote here so I encourage you to learn from the relationship before you get into another one. What worked? What didn't? What do you never, ever want to experience again? What do you want lots more of?

 

Additionally, because relationships are two sided, look at what parts of yourself YOU think need worked on so that you can be healthier in your next relationship. It sounds like you have some stuff that still bothers you about your past abuse. Maybe consider seeking therapy to help you.

 

Him leaving because you "don't act 'little enough'" is absolute crap so that isn't on you at all. For me feeling safe and secure is required for me to be my littlest self. That's part of what a Daddy/Mommy is supposed to provide.

 

I know break-ups hurt and I certainly feel for you. Try to be kind to yourself for a while and really look at everything only after there is a little space between you and his leaving.

[Nymph]

Nevermind.. My Daddy has broken up with me.

 

Thank god, he sounds mean and abusive, he has done the one good thing he could have ever done for you... I know it doesn't feel like that right now, but believe me it is for the best. A daddy is supposed to accept the real you and help you be better/happy if he says you are not little enough then perhaps you are a middle and he wants a baby girl who is into diapers and binkies.... and you know what? that is fine, it just mean you guys are not a match. NEVER, EVER should a guy make you feel bad for not being what he wants. 

 

If you truly act a bit like a "robot" simply following orders, then you might be more inclined to be a slave, if that is the case you need a daddy that can handle it, it's not just about barking orders and being a Dom. A lot of us around here have a mix going on, that does not mean you are a little but do take into account you need to find someone who cherishes that special mix that makes you unique and that works with them. Do not settle for someone close to your area just because there is nobody else. This can be the most beautiful kind of relationship with the right person sweety, he was simply not it.

 

*hugs*

[Princess-P]

Its for the better. You should have broke off with him to be honest. Its hard when you want to please someone but if they dont love you for who you are why bother? Sounds like you were just a way for him to pass the time.

 

Dont try to change who you are for anyone. Or worry you aren't enough. Just do your best and always be you. If someone doesn't like it, move on. Find someone who actually cares for you.

[Bloo Bear]

I know I'm probably an idiot, but he and I are trying to work it out for one last time. Thank you all for the support, I realize that if it doesn't work this time I will for real leave him.

[LittleBlackRose]

I know I'm probably an idiot, but he and I are trying to work it out for one last time. Thank you all for the support, I realize that if it doesn't work this time I will for real leave him.

 

Be careful. Keep your eyes open and be kind to yourself. Only change what you want to change for you and not because he told you to.