littles making the first move

[Guest Strictcoach]

I wondered what caregivers think about littles making the first move initiating contact with potential daddies/mommies?

 

I have a very good friend (also a very good little) in the US (not on this site) who is so shy and nervous about making the first move. I think that she is severely limiting her chances of finding the right daddy. It seems to me the DDlg dynamic seems to almost force daddies to make the first move, but I cant really justify that's how it should always be.

 

[Antoinette]

DD/g has a power imbalance from the get-go (usually) in my opinion. Littles tend to be submissive and daddies tend to be dominant, there are rare scenarios where this isn't the case but generally this is how it tends to be. I don't think it's all too surprising that the more submissive or subservient person of the dynamic is going to be the one to wait to be asked upon rather than the other way around. 

Also, generally speaking men are usually the dominant type whereas women take on a submissive role, taking this into account you can also note how men are almost always the ones to make the first move. This goes back to primal behaviours where men were the ones to seek out mates. But I digress. If a little or a daddy doesn't feel the want to make the first move then they won't - simple as. Perhaps they will meet someone that makes them feel a different way but I doubt it. Humans are creatures of habit. 

 

(Just a side note: I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to or to not make the first move. I'm just stating why I think this might be the case)

 

EDIT: Reading over your post further I also wanted to say how I find it slightly disingenuous to say that 'the DDlg dynamic seems to force daddies to make the first move,' this is dishonest. Nobody forces anybody to 'make the first move' - nobody is entitled to 'have a move made upon them', if you will. It definitely doesn't have anything to do with the DDlg dynamic inherently. It is an everyday 'issue' (if it can even be classed as an issue) that submissive types do not generally make the first moves. That's just nature. That is why dominant types usually prevail and submissive types have to be protected (speaking about the animal kingdom). If you personally, or anybody doesn't, fit the expectations of the ''rules'' if you're an anomaly you don't disprove the rule nor do you make the rule invalid. Nobody is being forced, it's just the way it is.

Edited April 23, 2017 by xAntoinette

[Daddy's_Babygirl]

Well I am a married little so I'm not making moves at all these days. Back when Daddy and I started dating we neither one had a clue what DDlg was. I absolutely hated making the first move. I viewed his profile on a dating website like 20 times before I finally messaged him because he wasn't messaging me. Due to age and his fear of my lack of maturity it took him a good 24hrs or maybe a bit more to answer me.

 

He did message me back and has made the first move from this point forward. He asked to have the first phone call, first date, marriage. I have to agree sith xAntoinette that this isn't a CGl issue but an everyday life issue.

[Spooky]

I think that is a societal issue at it's base. 
If a man doesn't make the first move, he is not masculine.
If a woman makes the first move, she looks easy and fast. 

So as a woman, it is even harder to put yourself out there. Many men are intimidated by a woman who will make the first move. And generally write her off as a slut. 

 

[Guest]

I am fine either way. If the guy makes the first move cool. If not and I think there is something there worth looking into I'll make the first move. If that makes me look easy then oh well. They will find out real fast that's not the case. Respect from both parties is key, not who thought to say hi first.

[CowetaDaddy]

Much like in life, only a handful of bold moves make all the difference. If someone is interested enough in another person they will make the first contact. No amount of viewing profiles, staring at pictures, or distanced pining will let them know you are interested. If you want them, go after them, otherwise someone will get to them first.

 

In most cases a Dom will carry the communication after the initial contact, but no one gets to complain if they won't do anything to fix the problem.