[Babygirl10]

Hey everyone... so I have always known I was a little... I don't switch, I have no dominating side to me what so ever and I am very sensitive. I can be super clingy and love all children's things... I would say my little side is about 3-5.. but here's the thing. I am in love and engaged to be married to a man 10 years older than me who is very religious. We both practice the same religion so that is not an issue but he has no clue about ddlg or about me being a little. I am in little space 90% of the time around him but of course he doesn't know or even understand that. He loves me and has every quality of a Daddy (I even call him Daddy) but has no interest in exploring the ddlg way of life with me... he doesn't like to talk about sex or kinks and is openly vanilla... idk what to do because we are getting married next month (end of May) and moving in together but I have tons of little stuff and am afraid that I have to get rid of it all because of his feelings towards kinks... I have tried to talk to him about it indirectly of course but he has shows no interest at all. He is the perfect daddy and doesn't even know it, I am not very sexual so the vanilla sex is fine with me. So should I just come out with it or get rid of all my things and hope that one day I can ease it back in? Please help..

[Himedere-Chan]

First off sounds like everything is fine to me. Second, religion shouldn't effect anything. Though I will admit it made me click onto the post since I'm religious and was curious if the religion was causing trouble.

I would say tell him directly, don't let him search it first cause all he'll see from google is the sex side which always turns people away in my opinion that is. If you two sit down and talk about it and explain to him how he makes you feel he might give it a try for you, after all you are engaged, clearly he loves you and a kink wouldn't ruin anything if it's true love.

I'm sure he will do anything for his girl and possibly his little if things go the way you want.

[Himedere-Chan]

*Sorry I didn't mean to double post. Stupid internet. xD

Edited April 21, 2017 by Himedere-Chan

[Babygirl10]

[cuppycakes]

If I can put my two cents in... I wouldn't tell him about ddlg, because it's just a label, and it's one that is clearly not very important for you to use if you're willing to give it up for him. However, I would tell him about your little side. You don't even have to call it that! You don't have to bring up kinks or sex, all you have to tell him is that you like ___ (pacis, bottles, your little gear). If he asks if it's a kink, you can say no you just enjoy it (of course I'm not advocating for you to lie, but if your littlespace is non-sexual, then it would be the truth!). You could even tell him one thing at a time to see how he'll take it.

 

If you're already in littlespace around him, he probably won't think it out of place for you to have little things, either. Just another cute quirk!

[cuppycakes]

Whoops! I also posted twice hehe Edited April 21, 2017 by cuppycakes

[Antoinette]

If he naturally acts like a daddy and you naturally a little what do you hope to gain by adding labels to the relationship? You said you call him daddy and I assume he's okay with that - it sounds like you're pretty much DD/lg already so what more are you looking for?

If you're worried he'll want you to get rid of your stuff then all you have to do is simply stand your ground. Yes, while DD/lg is at it's roots sexual because it is a subcategory of BDSM, that doesn't mean IT HAS TO ALWAYS be sexual. It doesn't, you can be a little but also vanilla sexually (I am aware this sounds strange). You have to explain to him that rather than this being a role you're playing in order to fulfill a kinky desire it is merely an addition of your character; and after all he loves you enough to marry you so why should this be such a big deal?

I am not going to comment about religion because I don't know how or what you practice so it's not my place to say - all I'm saying is, as long as you're following the religion you want to follow, how you want to follow it, then it shouldn't impact the love you two share.

[Little Illy]

Congratulations on the upcoming wedding! That is so exciting!

 

I suppose one thing that needs to be remembered here is how prominent and vital being a little is to you. If being a little is a core element to your happiness, than I believe the man who wants to marry you would like to know. Even if he doesn't understand it fully. Who knows what may happen down the line - maybe you come to a junction in your little life that requires some exploration or what have you. It is only fair that the man you have lovingly given the rest of your life to would have a chance to know, understand and possibly help.

 

I believe the conversation is important because of two reasons:

 

1. Many people repel from any kink because of it simply being a kink. This could be a great opportunity for him to learn more about you. The real, intimate, you. This would be the chance to say "look, it isn't a perversion, but this is a way I express myself." Show him that there are different degrees to every dynamic and yours isn't anything to be worried about (for his preferences). If you two are going to be married, then he obviously already loves the little you. He has had to have seen it many times by now, and clearly he isn't put off by it. Sure not everything needs a label, but sometimes they help when it comes to learning about something, and this may be your chance to teach him.

 

2. The main reason, in my opinion, for disclosing this to him is honestly just the basis of communication. This man is your fiance, soon to be your husband, your love, your best friend, etc. I feel - in my own opinion - that if there was one person you could be your true self to, it would be him. He should be the one you go to. And you know, he may not be too keen on the DDlg lifestyle, but that doesn't mean he doesn't accept, and support, you. But by being open with him, he will see your trust, he will see how much it means to you and he will see how much you confide in him. And he will reciprocate in that manner.

 

He may never be your Daddy, but he may help you when you get frustrated as a little. Only now he has a better understanding as to how he should go about it. And you never know! I have seen soooo many stories of people being totally against a kink, to then learn more about it and fall in love with it. Just approach it as you confiding in him at first. "I need to tell you something about myself," or whatever. Ease him into the idea while giving him the confidence in knowing you came to him about it. Lead up to discussions with the two of you, just don't throw him in head first. 

 

 And who knows. That conversation could easily be the one that lets him become your Daddy.

[Nael]

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Edited April 21, 2017 by Nael

[Babygirl10]

[Babygirl10]

If he naturally acts like a daddy and you naturally a little what do you hope to gain by adding labels to the relationship? You said you call him daddy and I assume he's okay with that - it sounds like you're pretty much DD/lg already so what more are you looking for?

 

If you're worried he'll want you to get rid of your stuff then all you have to do is simply stand your ground. Yes, while DD/lg is at it's roots sexual because it is a subcategory of BDSM, that doesn't mean IT HAS TO ALWAYS be sexual. It doesn't, you can be a little but also vanilla sexually (I am aware this sounds strange). You have to explain to him that rather than this being a role you're playing in order to fulfill a kinky desire it is merely an addition of your character; and after all he loves you enough to marry you so why should this be such a big deal?

 

I am not going to comment about religion because I don't know how or what you practice so it's not my place to say - all I'm saying is, as long as you're following the religion you want to follow, how you want to follow it, then it shouldn't impact the love you two share.

 

It isn't that I am looking for anything else. It all comes so natural to us.. and idc too much about labels anyways... it's that I have been a little without a caregiver for as long as I have known about ddlg.. so I have made my own charts and have my own type of "punishments" I also have pacis and blankets and stuffies and I am so attached to them all. But my fiancé has no clue about these type of things... I have no problem with him not wanting to full on participate as I know you can't force anyone to be into anything but I feel like he will look at me differently if he knows about this stuff...

[Princess-P]

I think its great that you understand his involvement isn't a necessity. Being able to be little on your own is great.

 

However you should tell him about the things you enjoy doing because you shouldn't feel afraid of being yourself. He's going to marry you. Thats a long life of holding back if your not honest about it. There's no need to explain the dynamic. Just tell him you enjoy certain things so that he doesn't feel uncomfortable seeing them around.

 

It sounds like you feel very fulfilled in your relationship and thats wonderful. I'm sure his love for you isn't going to go away because you like a few things out of the "norm".

[Princess-P]

Double post. Edited April 21, 2017 by Princess-P

[Guest countlieberkuhn]

As others have said, you don't need to put a label to it, in your case it would probably hurt more than help anyway.  That being said, I think you could ease him into it at least to some degree.  PLENTY of adult women like cuddly toys, little or otherwise.  That's not an exclusively little thing, you just are probably more attached to them than the average person.  So you could start there, just be a bit more open about your love for stuffies, it wouldn't seem weird to anyone really.  Plus it'd make his life easier when it came to buying you gifts

 

From there you could work in the blankets, it's not really much different from just carrying a duvet around, lots of people do that just to be cosy.  Pacifiers are a bit harder to explain away, but as I said it doesn't have to happen all at once.  Considering that in all other regards he seems like your perfect man, and you already have cg/l pet names for each-other, I think if you can get most of the way there with embracing your little side around him, that is probably enough.

[Princess Colleen]

Communication is essential to every good relationship. You need to start it now, before the wedding. Make sure he understands that you are not going to "grow up" after you become a wife and mother. Also, make sure he understands that this is not repressed desire for your father or an attempt to replace a bad father. You enjoy things that some people consider childish. (Hmm, is Abby from NCIS a little? Or Garcia from Criminal Minds?) It does NOT mean that you are seeking to explorer kinks like bondage, spankings, "fun-ishment" etc. 

As for the religious angle ...... Sir and I are Mormon. Not the Sister Wives type. I don't get enough attention as it is! There is no way I am going to share him! Anyway, we are advised to be like onto children in our faith in God. I can do that!! My energy and enthusiasm for God and Jesus is great! Religion says the man is to be the head of the house with his wife's loving support. Soooo .... by letting Sir worrying about the major adult issues (like insurance, taxes, income, etc) I get to focus on "playing house" by cooking, and shopping, and cuddling fur babies, and avoiding stress. And since Sir is in charge, he is responsible for my spiritual development too .... like making sure I get to church, saying the blessing before we eat, etc.

We are new to DD/lg but like you, I have a carefree spirit. The more I learn about living the DD/lg lifestyle, the more I believe that it the best way to be truly happy under God's plan. 

[Princess Colleen]

posted twice ....page glitching?

Edited April 24, 2017 by Princess Colleen