young littles?

[glgkittykat99]

okay so im pretty sure that this is a very sensitive topic

im an 18 y/o little and i've been into it even wen i was under 18  (researchinf it to see if it was right for me, looking at other ddlg relationships etc)

but i guess since this is a site dedicated to this dynamic i find that i've seen a lot of stuff about younger littles being immature and.... i guess just not caring about the actual dynamic or sumthing like that

 

im just stating my opinion and while i do want to see what others think i really hope this doesn't turn into an argument because i have seen stuff like this turn into them - i hope i don't hurt anyone's feelings and i'm sorry if i do   

again this is purely only my opinion and i just feel like i need to say this because i don't see many younger littles posting or replying wat it is that im thinking....

so i guess to start off

* ddlg became mainstream????? i've seen this a lot - that younger littles aren't rlly into the dynamic and are just doing it as a trend/phase but.... i didn't know this - i'm very cautious about any type of relationship and so of course, even more about a dynamic - i make sure that i rlly do want to do it because it really does seem right (which ofc, ddlg is for me)

*younger littles are immature......? hmmm well again this is purely my opinion only but.....there are different kinds of immature in this case i think.... i mean there's 1. the non communicating, shunning, overdramatic immature and i think lots of people have has been this person at some point in time - i just do (im not excluded, i've been this person) -- but this is just temporary most of the time and is bad in ANY kind of relationship so ... isn't it wrong to say that this is a problem younger littles have

and 2. the other kind of immature is the one where the little is "overdependent" on the cg (i think!) and i will say that i see this too but where as it's a problem sometimes, in some relationships; this is perfect and "overdependecy" is impossible because the dom WANTS to be relied on and etc. etc. 

 

ummmm these are the only two points that i can really remember because they're what i really really see - quite often (here as well as other places)

but heres my actual reason/ motivation for making this i guess 

most people that say the above things tend to say "no offense" but....

    it's really hard to i guess not take offense of it - i find that 99% of the time i can NOT take offense but what does ALWAYS happen to me - without fail is that i'll feel sad/upset/etc.etc. because it's as though i've just been told that i am too young to belong here- it's  WRONG that im into ddlg because i take posts saying those things seriously; the people who (to me, again im sorry if this sounds like i took offense - like i said hard not to) basically say that young littles are i guess, false littles are  older and more experienced littles and sometimes doms - and i value EVERYTHING that they say whether i want to or not and i take it to heart because the fact is: they do know this dynamic better and i always get down to "what if they're right? and i should leave this dynamic because even though i think i'm serious about it - im not???"

 

anywhose heres the essential question

to the older littles and doms -- am i right? when i think like that? am i wrong?

to the younger littles and of course, if you'd like to - younger doms -- have u ever had thoughts like mine? that you don't belong?

 

again - i really hope i didn't hurt anyones feelings but im also realisitc so.....i probably did and if i did - im sorry i really really am i just think that this point of view needs to be said.....

 

(also sorry that it's un organized and messy i don't really have a good filter)

Edited April 18, 2017 by glgkittykat99

[Guest Candy Minx ♡]

i really don't think i've ever seen anything where anyone states that they don't

think younger littles don't care about the dynamic. 

 

1.) i mean i generally haven't see anyone really state that it's become mainstream,

at least on here, i'm sure it has though. i never really thought about it mostly

because my awareness of the dynamic is limited to this website, fetlife, and tumblr.

but it quite possible that it might just be a phase for them and who are we to really

do anything about that? the best thing i could ever suggest is guiding them to the

right material so they don't misinform others or have a bad experience and then

go off and tell others about that. i'm sure cg/l isn't the only dynamic to have people

with phases passing through it.

 

2.) most younger people are immature. that doesn't just go for cg/l. it's just an

overall thing. they're in the stages of coming out of high school, going into college,

finding jobs, figuring out what direction they want their life to go in, and enjoying

the perks of being a legal adult now. everyone is well aware that the average

caregiver/little at the transitioning stages and then some are going to be immature.

it's a given. i generally don't see an issue with forming an opinion what whatnot on

the fact that they are who they are. does immaturity limit itself to the younger

generation? no. but they're often the most verbal so naturally, it's going to come

up more than three or four times. 

most people have been that person at one point but they life went on and they grew

up,they matured. it doesn't really change anything. it's just that the immature older

caregivers/littles don't get as much focus as the younger crowd 'cause they're

generally fewer here than the others. i've never seen anyone ever state that

only YOUNGER littles have this issue. they, again, are just the more vocal of

the groups and get brought up more often.

 

3.) i don't think being dependent on a person, no matter your age, is something

that's okay multiple reasons. if you're dependent on your caregiver - what do

you do if a break up happens? what if they end up hurt and can no longer take

care of you? or what if they somehow die? that little is dependent with no one

to depend on. the entire idea of that is scary to think about, anyone in that

position wouldn't feel too hot. yes, lots of caregivers want to be relied upon

in different multitudes but to 100% rely on someone has to take a toll on the

caregiver as well. taking full care of yourself and another person could be

difficult and an undesirable position to some. it's almost like people are okay

excusing dependency by using the cg/l dynamic and that's not right. i can't

tell people not to, i can't tell them cg/l isn't about that but that doesn't change

the fact that it can be extremely unhealthy and some people just aren't down

for that. being overdependent is very possible and i think easily achievable

with the kind of dynamic we're all participating in.

 

as far as you taking offense, being offended is going to happen in life no matter

what you say or do. SOMEONE is going to be offended by your word or actions,

even if they're not ill intended, misunderstanding, or but a simple comment. i am

one to easily understand you can't help what you feel but you can help how you

decide to react to it. instead of being sad/upset/frustrated or anything else it'd be

easier to learn how to brush it off because it's going to happen throughout all your

life and it's a super skill to brush up on and keep with you always. being calm over

being offended might help, when you're upset you may start to read meaning into

things that aren't really there or speak using emotion which can result in a negative

impact to yourself. do i get offended? hell yes i do. 99.8% of the time i sort of just

head tilt and move on, what else can i do besides control my reaction to it?  

 

i don't think there is a right and wrong way to feel, they're feelings so i hope that

answered your question. 

 

edit: i answered assuming she meant littles age 18+

Edited April 18, 2017 by Candy Minx ♡

[Atticus]

Well I mean: You're essentially asking if young people are immature. Yes, they are. It's not some personal attack or insult. It's just a fact of life that when people's brains are less developed and/or flooded with hormones, they're not going to make decisions as well.

 

That said: Everyone matures at different speeds, so there may be some younger littles who can absolutely handle complex relationship dynamics, and there are older ones who can't. I'm sure there are 16 year olds more mature than your average 18 year old, and 22 year olds less mature than your average 16 year old. 18 is just a convenient age that most countries have settled on as an acceptable age of consent that balances safety with the realities of life.

 

I wouldn't take any of it personally though: The reality is that this is a sexual fetish website, and so it has to be restricted to 18+ to operate. The moderators have no choice but to be strict about it.

[WickedJax]

I personally believe that it is both wrong, and immature for an underaged person to partake in DDlg discussion for the simple reason that DDlg is heavily related to BDSM, as it is a type of Dom/sub relationship. I would remind you that it is illegal to expose a minor to pornography/nudity, and even on a generally low key site like this, there are often borderline nude images posted in the gallery. If a minor chooses to participate then they are, in my opinion, putting all the people they interact with at risk, which is in my opinion a very selfish and immature way to go about things. I believe the correct response to meeting an underaged little is to always tell them to back away from DDlg until they turn 18.

[cuppycakes]

SORRY FOR THE LONG POST I JUST HAVE A LOT TO SAY

Hey! I'm a pretty young little, too, and you shouldn't let those things get to you. Kids our age do tend to be pretty immature, and I know when I was even younger, and still finding out who I was, I went through a lot of different phases. People in this dynamic don't want to have minors interact with ddlg for a number of reasons.

1. This lifestyle can easily be boiled down to it's stereotypes. A girl wearing a Daddy shirt holding a teddy bear. Done. This can also make it a scary place for littles looking for relationships...

2. Adults in the dynamic don't want it to be boiled down to "just a phase". So many kids go through phases, even into their late teens/early twenties. There's bound to be a lot of girls who do this sort of thing. (I say girls because boys who are little are not represented as much, and are probably less likely to go through a phase with something they could be ridiculed for if they are not serious about it.)

2 1/2. This also makes it difficult for adults to tell someone that their relationship is valid. If the vanilla world sees ddlg as a phase where young girls like teddy bears and older men, then that can be a real issue to those who treat it seriously and want to be taken seriously.

3. It is a sub-culture of bdsm, and it's irresponsible for minors to be involved in that.

4. Even adults on this site (and others) have to be careful of who they talk to. There are countless littles who are of age and still get in trouble with men pretending to be daddies. When you're younger, you're even less likely to know the bad signs. For the most part, younger people tend to be more trusting on the internet as well. They could get in some serious problems with predators.

(I had a younger family member who, at the age of 15, got involved with a 32 year old man. If she had knowledge of ddlg, and the ability to talk to people on the internet freely, I have no doubt that she would look for a "daddy" online. That would be really scary.)

 

I personally think it's irresponsible for a minor to take part; however, I do not think it's irresponsible for a minor to see this way of life and desire the same. At 17, I was in a relationship with my current partner, and we were pretty much living the dynamic without even knowing of its existence. I have no problem with minors saying they're a little, or wanting a ddlg relationship, but I do have a problem with minors getting involved in the community (as it is part of bdsm. Even though my littlespace isn't sexual, that doesn't mean the community isn't.)

 

Although I don't think it's right for minors to be involved in the scene, people do mature at different ages. I was much more mature than some of my friends in high school (as far as relationships go), and even now I can see people who are older than me do things that seem immature or (no offense) just stupid. Everybody is different, everybody learns at different rates. (I have another friend who is 3 years younger with me, at her maturity level right now, I wouldn't be worried if she was interested in ddlg because I know she's mature and can think for herself, I think she could handle it (even so, I would still advise her to wait until she turns 18). I can't say the same for my friend who is 19.) Age is just a number, but it's a good way to determine the average amount of maturity that someone has at that point in their life.

 

I've never personally experienced anyone saying that I'm too young to be on here. Sorry that it's happened to you ( •́ ∧ •̀ )  You don't need to prove yourself for them. You are valid. You are important. If they can't see that, then it's their problem.