Audition

[MusicChicaMia]

A song flows through my head as I wait in a room with many other girls looking exactly like me. I'm self-conscious about my own looks, seeing that all these girls look so much prettier than me. My name is called and I walk into the room. There are 4 people sitting at a table and a curtain behind me. They tell me to begin when I am ready. I take a deep breath and close my eyes then open them again, calming myself but also envisioning myself where the character I'm portraying would be. 

 

Dark brown hair, cut short to her chin. She stands with the wind blowing on her face as she watches leaves fall from the trees. It's fall. She watches as a car drives off leaving her in front of an old apartment building that is now her home. 

"I am left alone, they are gone and I have to figure out things for myself. I need to get a job for myself. I need to figure out my life. I need to wake up and welcome myself to this new reality." Looking down at my shoes I click them together then stand up straight. "No place like home, right? Let's get to wo-" 

 

"Thank you!" and a snap. They've had enough of me. 

"Did you need me to do anything el-"

"That's it, we have what we need now leave." 

 

A feeling of heartbreak comes over me about how harsh these people are. But it's understandable they have many people to get through. I put on a fake smile and leave the room with my things. I head home. A week goes by, no callback. Nothing from them. 

 

I didn't get the part. That's fine! Just keep trying right?... That's what everyone keeps saying, keep trying and you'll get it one day. One day I'll get my break. I sit down on the couch, repeating these words over and over again. "There are always other things, I'm sure I'll find something," I fall back onto the couch and stare at the ceiling. 

 

 

Two months later, I audition again. 

Same setup, different lines, different character. 

Same reaction. 

 

Three weeks later, another audition. 

Same setup, different lines, different character. 

Same reaction. 

 

A month later. Audition. 

Same thing. 

 

Another audition....

 

Why do I try? What will happen? Will I not get the part again? It seems like a pattern. Who knows. 

I walk into the waiting room. There isn't anyone. I sit on a chair and wait for my name to be called. I look up and see a woman walk out, she looks nothing like me. I stand up and my name is called. I walk into the room and stand in front of 2 people. The woman in charge of everything explains that they just want to hear a story from me. She tells me that the story will be taking place in Chicago and that the movie will be focused on the actress, not a story line. 

 

So I take a deep breath. I think.... And I begin. 

"I knew a girl who visited Chicago. She would go there every year, auditioning for a singing gig. Each year they turned her down, but she kept trying. She would come home and tell me about how heartbreaking it was to be turned down constantly, but she still kept trying. She'd tell me, "If we didn't have dreams, what would we be able to live for? Exactly, nothing. We could not achieve anything because we had no dreams of something to achieve." She still goes to Chicago each year. Auditioning for people constantly, trying to get something to help her make her dream a reality. She keeps trying even when everyone tried to tear her down. When I go into auditions I think of her and a song that she sings." and I begin to sing "Here's to the ones who dream. Foolish as they may seem. Here's to the hearts that ache. Here's the mess we make."

 

I got the part that day. I was able to be myself and am now able to live my dream. Why? Because I had a dream to live for and to achieve. Foolish as my dream may have seemed, I had made it to where I had wished to be. And here I am. Living the life I had dreamed to live. 

 

 

~Inspired by the movie "La La Land" ~