Very unsexy manners

[LittleGirlEmilia]

I was brought up to keep my elbows off the table, chew with my mouth closed, eat slowly, don't burp or fart. Pretty simple table rules. Right?

My partner does the complete opposite, hearing him eat(more like inhale) I can just stand, but when he burps/farts while I'm eating, I need to stop eating otherwise I'll be sick.

Me having to stop eating happens atleast 1 - 2 times a week AND HE KNOWS IT HAPPENS!!! He just doesn't care. I tell him every time it happens and I've spoke to him about a few times before.

What the hell do I do now? I just need him to have some manners........

Edited April 16, 2017 by Guest

[Guest Bunnyblossom]

Mine's the same. I just got over it and don't even notice it anymore. Plus he always says "Pardon me" or "Excuse me" and I reply "You're pardoned/excused". He's at least polite about it generally.

 

I was also brought up with good table manners and was grossed out at first. Still don't like 'toots' and burps, but luckily they're not smelly or idk how I'd handle that lol

 

You've already tried explaining it to him, there's really nothing else to do.

Unless someone on here has some magic therapy crap to psychologically condition him to stop, like "try farting in his face when he's eating"- idk there are some people who think they have the answers to everything lol 

 

You could try getting detailed in your explanation of your feelings toward burping and farting, why they're icky. 

Like, explain to him what exactly a burp and fart are- e.g. Farts are gas from your intestines or bum. They smell like poop because there are poop particles in the air when you expel them. Basically you're having to smell the inside of his butt while you're trying to eat.

 

That level of detail made my Daddy a lot more considerate bout his toot behaviour lol (there may or may not have also been crying). 

[cuppycakes]

If you guys have rules, you could always make one for this. I know it's not uncommon for a little to have rules for their cg (though they're more like suggestions).

 

Otherwise, I don't see any other way of this working than you telling him exactly how you feel (make sure when you talk to him, you're not in littlespace, though. It should be a conversation between two adults, or he might not take you as seriously as you need to be taken). He's not acting like a good daddy when he does this. I think you should sit down with him and tell him how important it is to you. "This is really important and I need you to hear me out. It's not funny, it's not something I can just overlook. You are making me feel bad every time you do this, so please make an effort to stop."

[alotalittle]

I apologize if this is too forward (and I want you to know that I absolutely don't mean any harm by this), but I've read a lot of your forum posts and I've been wondering something...

 

What does your partner do that's good? I've yet to read anything that I could interpret as positive. He sounds like a very selfish, uncaring partner in almost all regards. I hate to sound this way, but why are you still with him? He treats you unkindly, he doesn't respond to you trying to communicate with him, he rude to you and around you (like you mention in this post), and he doesn't seem to do much good for you at all. I know I'm grouping together all the posts you've made about him (and not just this one).

 

I'm genuinely curious what his good qualities are since I've never gotten to read about them on here.

 

As for your original question:

 

If his manners while he eats are so bad that it makes you feel literally sick, I would stop eating with him. Tell him why you can't eat with him, explain that his farts/burps/loud chewing making you feel sick, and then take your plate into a different room and eat. This SHOULD bother him. If after a week or two of you eating in another room (or outside in watching the sunset), he doesn't seem to care at all...I would see that as a red flag. His manners don't have to be perfect (I think you could get over him putting his elbows on the table and maybe even chewing with his mouth open), but he should be trying to improve them for you if it's getting so bad that you can't eat with him.

[Nymph]

Barbie, has it ever crossed your mind that he DOES care, and he is actually doing it on purpose because he knows it bothers you?

 

In another post I mentioned your guy reminds me a lot of an ex I had, who became emotionally abusive and was moving to verbal abuse, at the very end he would even bump into me or slightly push me "without noticing" and that was when I realized where things were really headed. You sound like such a lovely girl, any guy should be thankful to have your attention and at least be polite and caring.

[Himedere-Chan]

I know you said you told him many times, but you should do more then just tell him, discuss with him, tell him how bad it effects you, repeatedly tell him until he gets it. In the end if he still does it, at that point you know he knows it bothers you so much it makes you sick then leave him. If you think leaving him over his manners is crazy then he probably thinks you caring that much about his bad habits is crazy too.