In Need of some Advice

[plumflower]

So today my Daddy told me that he met someone closer to him in real life. We have an internet relationship. This hurt a lot and in fact we ended our relationship but he wants to stay friends. I don't think I  can do that right now though i like to stay friends with him too. For right now, i need my space. What are some tips go go about healing from something like this?

[Guest PrincessCakes]

Getting some fresh air is always the best cure for me, especially in little space. Going to the zoo, having a picnic at the park, seeing friends, playing games, just any sort of fun distractions that you enjoy.

[aschmizzy]

totally agree with PrincessCakes ^.^

Fresh air is super therapeutic. Even if the weather isn't nice, you can still go for a walk or have a little picnic in your yard.

 

My advice would be to immediately take action when bad thoughts arise. If you start to feel yourself getting sad or overthinking, immediately do something productive! have a little workout, go outside, cook something, do a craft etc etc. Do nottttt let yourself suffer needlessly.

 

Also, it'll help to leave the room where the bad thoughts started! so get up and get out of your room, or where ever and just change your surroundings a bit too. 

 

Good luck my friend

[Mikaitaku]

dumping you simply because he found someone more convenient is a asshole move in my book so it might be better to just cut your losses and heal. 

[Guest Kittehmuffin]

Be gentle and patient with yourself. Allow yourself to feel all the feelings and then go do whatever is fun for you. Remember self care and relax.

[sighing]

If you're serious about moving on I suggest you go no contact at least until you've healed. In my experience staying friends when one party still has feelings is only going to prolong the suffering. 

 

Good luck.

[AsleepAndDreaming]

This is precisely why I don't do online only relationships. The distances involved mean strong feelings can never quite be satisfied, there are huge amounts of trust involved (and many littles have trust and anxiety issues anyway) and, as a Caregiver, my ability to comfort and assist my little when she's feeling down is always limited. And the danger is that either Daddy or little "meets" someone else - well... how has he done that exactly? He was meant to be your Daddy surely? Not quite sure what he was doing even looking for someone else?

 

As for staying friends, this isn't something I would personally recommend, although I'm sure that others have differing opinions. Look at it like a cut on your arm. If you scratch the cut, the scab comes off and the wound takes longer to heal. And the more you scratch it the bigger scar you leave on your skin. So the more you talk to this guy who hurt you, the longer it will take for the wound you have to heal and the longer it will take for you to move on. Essentially, the only thing that will allow you to move forward in your life is time, and over time, you will be ready to look for someone new. The quickest way to get to that stage is to leave those who have hurt you behind.

[alotalittle]

If you're not ready to be friends right now, then don't try to force it. I've found that when relationships (of any kind) end or grow apart, that it's best for me to take time for myself and be distant from that person for a while so that I can heal on my own. Maintaining too much contact while you're still hurting and attempting to heal is only going to draw out the process and potentially make it impossible for you to move on. Don't feel guilty for needing space and not wanting a friendship with him right now.

 

I hugely agree with Kittehmuffin. Patience and gentleness with yourself is the best thing you can do. Healing takes time. You'll have good days and bad days, but eventually, you'll return to your normal--and newly stronger--self. Try to think of things that bring you peace (hiking in nature with my dog is my favorite peaceful activity). Don't let yourself slip into too many depressive tendencies. Make sure that all of your basic daily needs are being met (drink water, eat food, get sleep, keep up your hygiene).

 

And know this: We are all here to listen and help you when we can. This community is wonderful for that. 

[Nymph]

For me novelty is the cure, try something you always wanted to try but never got around to, or even something you wouldn't have normally considered just for the kicks!

 

As for being friends, I would worry that he is just trying to keep you in the backburner in case it doesn't work out with this little who happened to be more convenient to him. Be thankful that he was honest about it but that is how things should be done... so don't go out of your way to accommodate him if it will hurt you in the long run.

[plumflower]

Thank you for their responses. I was devastated when it happened, but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Had it not been for him making his choice I may have been stuck wondering why he as my Daddy could not commit to me. As it turned out, he left the door open for a new person to come into my life and this Daddy, my Daddy, has shown me that I did absolutely nothing wrong. The best part is I wouldn't have known that such a wonderful person existed if I had stuck with the guy who could not commit.