Caregivers whose littles have disabilities/health problems.

[LittlePupRune]

Hiya, I'm a caregiver to my lovely little who happens to have several health problems and is disabled. I looked around to see if there was much discussion on this topic but didn't find anything for caregivers. I'm hoping to maybe find a few friends or people I can share experiences with and get advice.

 

My little has a myriad of health problems but the major ones are POTS, HM (hemiplegic migraines), gastro problems, PTSD, SPD (sensory processing disorder), and hypoglycemia.

 

I'm with her almost every day, and deal with these issues often. Its challenging but very worth it for me, even those days when I'm tired and stressed.

 

Hoping some other caregivers are willing to join in, having a space to discuss and unload is very helpful.

[1FinePieceofAce]

i'm not a cg, but i recently had a very bad injury and had to have emergency spine surgery. i've been requiring a lot of help from my Daddy and was using a catheter for a while. it was so so so hard for me to understand that my Daddy enjoys his role as my caretaker. I would get really defensive at the beginning of my injury when i would attempt to do things on my own (only to hurt myself) but Daddy reassured me that it's his job and i am his pride and joy  

[LittlePupRune]

i'm not a cg, but i recently had a very bad injury and had to have emergency spine surgery. i've been requiring a lot of help from my Daddy and was using a catheter for a while. it was so so so hard for me to understand that my Daddy enjoys his role as my caretaker. I would get really defensive at the beginning of my injury when i would attempt to do things on my own (only to hurt myself) but Daddy reassured me that it's his job and i am his pride and joy  

 

I'm glad to hear that you're accepting his help. However I'm sorry that the injury happened. I can reassure you that yes, we caretakers very much enjoy and get fulfillment from helping our little.

[Daddyslilhoneybee]

[TeddyBearHeart]

As a Little with PTSD, I think it's worth looking into getting an emotional support animal. They are extremely beneficial and can ease BOTH of your minds. Just having something without complex human concerns to love you and for you to love is extremely comforting.

[LittlePupRune]

As a Little with PTSD, I think it's worth looking into getting an emotional support animal. They are extremely beneficial and can ease BOTH of your minds. Just having something without complex human concerns to love you and for you to love is extremely comforting.

ESA's are great. I currently can't get an animal, but once my job is stable I'm thinking of getting a chinchilla. My little has a service dog which is why I'm not going to get a dog until we have room to have two.

[Sanrio333]

I'm in a unique situation. My Daddy has a degenerative muscular disease. I always worry about him. It's hard to find support or guidance on things that come up...

[Harley_Quinn]

Not a caregiver but I am a little with mental health and some health problems.

 

Part of my mental problem is I can't feel or express my emotions properly which can put a massive strain on my daddy. I'm also unable to eat certain meats and can't eat bread because of a slow digestion problem. And i have seizures. It does put a lot of strain on him.

 

But I say he's a great daddy for helping me with all of it and sticking around through it. Any caregiver is. Massive amounts of respect for any caregiver :3

[LittlePupRune]

Does anyone have any good trust exercises, especially for those in a relationship with someone who has ptsd? My little and I have been dealing with some stuff thats recently come up with her. She's more jumpy around me, even though she knows I'm not gonna lash out, but she still feels fear so we're thinking of starting with trust exercises as a way to try to work through it then move on from there.

[Girlyd]

Sounds like u care for your little. I would try trust falls (which doesn't have to be done up high or anything like that.) You can also try a blind taste test. showing that u will feed her things that are not harmful etc. This to show u care about her. Also, try to tell a secret helps too. I use to have trust issues but once I did this it really helped! GOOD LUCK!

[Hallowtine]

I myself am a little with lotsa medical stuff ranging from PTSD to type one diabeties! With my daddy it just took a lot of time and pure communication. I would try to talk with your little as much as possible, always ask permission to do things involving touch and stuff, just asking things like "is this okay" or "may I" can really help.

 

It just takes lots of time and communication! Best of luck to you and your little.

[DxddyJ]

Hey, I'm a caregiver my little she has kinda a lot of things going on she is constantly crying because she has depression,schizophrenia and is bipolar I got her therapy I took her to a doctor they gave her medicine but she still constantly battles with herself.

[LittlePupRune]

Hey, I'm a caregiver my little she has kinda a lot of things going on she is constantly crying because she has depression,schizophrenia and is bipolar I got her therapy I took her to a doctor they gave her medicine but she still constantly battles with herself.

 

Thats a normal. With my little she's constantly dealing with the idea that she's just being lazy and should push though whats going on with her, I just remind her that I'm there to help, to take a breath and go slowly, and she's not faking whats going on. But since the battle is internal theres only so much you can do, but the best thing is support, she is the only one that can finish that battle but that doesn't mean you can't be there as her back up.

[Baby girl & mr bear]

I am a little with mental health issues I have bpd severe anxiety borderline anorexia, my mummy and daddy will look after me talk to me about what's going on in my head, if I'm big and I can't cope they just make me little and look after me

[HisuianLilligant]

I'm a little with mental illnesses and am disabled as well, my daddy doesn't mind-he loves me despite my issues

[BluehBear]

I want a caregiver who can help take care of me. I'm type 1 diabetic and unless I have someone to remind me to test Blood sugars and give insulin I don't......I ended up in ICU last year for that. Plus I have anxiety and depression which just makes me want to work on my diabetes even more....you who have caregivers are so lucky

[babygirl87]

Me believe in honesty bestest but when me mention my health people stop talking to me me have got fwiends but me told not nice to me so Canberra me pease ask am I better not talkin got bout health when meeting new peoples

[LittlePupRune]

Me believe in honesty bestest but when me mention my health people stop talking to me me have got fwiends but me told not nice to me so Canberra me pease ask am I better not talkin got bout health when meeting new peoples

 

It depends, there are two arguments in this situation, the first is that withholding can cause hurt later, and the other is that you don't need to disclose personal info from the get-go if you don't feel like it. Personally, I don't think you need to say something right at the beginning if you don't feel comfortable doing so, but if you do then you can immediately tell if a person is going to be good for you or not depending how they react to that information. If they reject it then you're spared dealing with a person that won't later on when you do tell them, if they accept it then you can move past that and continue a friendship. But if you chose not to tell at first, which is your right because that is personal information, then you're going to have to figure out how to tell them later on, which can be really stressful. I don't really think one is better than the other, it really depends on your personal choice as it is your information. Personally I prefer being upfront, simply for the fact that it weeds out people that I won't have to spend energy on only for them to reject me later on. But thats just my personal choice, and everyone can choose to do something different based on what they feel more comfortable with.

[xMoonBeam]

o; I have a chinchilla!! He's my lil fluff buddy

Just make sure to do lots of research, they're very intellectual and social creatures. Require fair amount of attention and need a big cage, but they make great companions. Pika stands up and kisses my forehead when I'm feeling down.

[Ink]

There are always going to be times that Littles aren't going to be able to recognize in the moment the things that their caregivers do to look after them. For that reason I think its really important that caregivers do two things to safeguard your own mental health. Looking after yourself so you can more effectively look after your Little.

 

The first can be a challenge, but its important. Learn to appreciate the things you do for your Little yourself. Anyone who has been a caregiver for very long at all will have done something for their Little that they will never know even happened without you going to great lengths to point out to them. Rather than pointing it out, learn to appreciate the effort you have gone to for your own sake. I like to think of it like "However this situation turns out, I'm really proud of the decisions that I have made to get to this point. It's not truly important that Little knows about this thing that I've done for her, but I recognize my own efforts have helped me be a greater caregiver".

 

The second is to discuss and prepare for these situations with your Little. If you are prepared for it then it will be easier for you to get through these times as you have a plan. My Little writes me adorable letters with scenarios on their front. 'Open me when you need to be happy and relaxed' or 'Open Me When You Miss Me'. They really help ground me and let me know that all the caregiving is appreciated, even if the words can't be said right then. It doesn't permanently replace the need to hear it, but it helps get through tough moments.

 

TL;DR - taking care of yourself will help you stay the best caregiver you can be.

[LittlePupRune]

There are always going to be times that Littles aren't going to be able to recognize in the moment the things that their caregivers do to look after them. For that reason I think its really important that caregivers do two things to safeguard your own mental health. Looking after yourself so you can more effectively look after your Little.

 

The first can be a challenge, but its important. Learn to appreciate the things you do for your Little yourself. Anyone who has been a caregiver for very long at all will have done something for their Little that they will never know even happened without you going to great lengths to point out to them. Rather than pointing it out, learn to appreciate the effort you have gone to for your own sake. I like to think of it like "However this situation turns out, I'm really proud of the decisions that I have made to get to this point. It's not truly important that Little knows about this thing that I've done for her, but I recognize my own efforts have helped me be a greater caregiver".

 

The second is to discuss and prepare for these situations with your Little. If you are prepared for it then it will be easier for you to get through these times as you have a plan. My Little writes me adorable letters with scenarios on their front. 'Open me when you need to be happy and relaxed' or 'Open Me When You Miss Me'. They really help ground me and let me know that all the caregiving is appreciated, even if the words can't be said right then. It doesn't permanently replace the need to hear it, but it helps get through tough moments.

 

TL;DR - taking care of yourself will help you stay the best caregiver you can be.

 

I really like the idea of the notes your little writes you. Its adorable and sounds very helpful.