to switch or not to switch? ... no switch? ... switch off?

[Rantanplan]

I was wondering if Switches are happier with their sex life. I can imagine that they can clearly show what they are after. The understanding might be higher on both sides. When roles are always the same, then you have to explain everything in the aftercare. But knowing, what is going to happen next time, takes away the excitement, doesn't it?

 

Littles are not always sliding into the same age group. Sometimes they are older, sometimes younger. And sometimes they are pets or not. They also switch, but in an entirely different way. They are not 'Switches'. Still, they are switching - maybe 'altering' is a better word for this.

 

What are your opinions?

[~Lost_Little_Searching~]

Very interesting observation.  If not happier, I'd imagine Switches would have an added variety to their sex life.  They can mix and match their different roles into something that represents who they are. As far as understanding goes, they might not understand as much about each other though they are accustomed to switching roles. Doms and subs have a multitude of ways in which they prefer to be cared for.

For littles, I never though of myself as switching between my different personalities in little space, so thank you for that new idea.  In a way, I do agree with you, I switch, for lack of a better word, "personalities" though I am still in little space.  I hope this made sense, but thank you for the post!

[Antoinette]

I know what my daddy wants. 100% entirely and without a doubt I know what makes him tick, tick, BOOM! (if ya catch my drift) 

Bad jokes aside, I do think that switches have a slightly higher understand if perhaps you're in a new relationship and the BDSM dynamic is being established, but after a while I feel as though people just learn to understand how to do the whole aftercare thing, what their partner desires, what to do to make them feel more little/more subby. 

 

I don't think it takes away the excitement. Well... Actually, I don't know - I'm not a switch. I've entertained the idea of taking on a little of my own, but it was merely a short-lived fantasy that did actually play out. If it did I don't think excitement would be lost. I think, just like say people who are bisexual, you just get a more wholesome view. You get the best of both worlds - surely that makes it more exciting? 

 

I think with the whole little thing it's not that they're switching, they're still in an inherently submissive role just a different TYPE of role, just as though if a daddy switches to a master, a 'sir', so on and so forth - they're still and inherently dominant role. With switches they're experiencing the dominant and submissive roles.

[Biscuits]

My partner and I follow a switch lifestyle and I would say that it's more exhausting than anything else that people say about it. Yes, its fun to see my 6' 3" dominant on their knees like a puppy, but the mental aspect of it just drains you. We tend to stick to our dom and little relationship, but often times switch just because one of us is acting a little more or less confident that day. I believe it's that constant sort of readjusting to the situation that makes it tiring. Aside from in the bedroom, the switch lifestyle, I think, has definitely brought us way closer since I dont believe it's often that you just find someone who's into the same stuff as you. 

 

I also wouldn't say its more or less exciting since everything gets old eventually, for a more normal couple, vanilla may just be getting on their last nerve. For a switch/ddlg couple, vanilla might be a new and exciting thing. So, in the end, your life is what you make it. If you think you want to try switch to see how you like it, go right on ahead and dip your toes in.

 

Love,

Biscuits   

[alotalittle]

My partner and I are both switches. It is fun, exciting, and can add lots of variety...but Biscuits is right in that it can also be mentally exhausting at times.

 

For me and my partner, I can't imagine us NOT being switches. We both love being dominant and we both love being submissive. Living my life never getting to experience one or the other sounds downright miserable to me...which is why I identify as a switch. The biggest thing I think it adds is tons of understanding. When I only took on the submissive role, I had no real comprehension of why people enjoyed being dominant. Sure, I could read about things from a Dom(me)'s POV, but it never fully made sense to me. Then, I got the opportunity to take on the dominant role. It was a little scary at first, but wow, it was inspiring and exhilarating. I finally understood. I was also really excellent at aftercare because I knew--as a sub--what really good aftercare meant. Being able to combine my skills as a Domme and as a sub is really fulfilling and has massively improved my sex life.

 

I often think that the very best Doms have put themselves in a position of submission at least a couple times and the very best subs have put themselves in a position of dominance at least a couple times. It really gives you the full perspective, even if you're not a switch. 

 

As for the mental exhaustion side of things, it can be difficult depending on the kind of switch you are and the kind of switch you're with. I'm a very fluid switch and can usually take on whichever role matches my partner's mood. However, my partner is not fluid in that sense AT ALL. When he's in the sub mindset, there's no changing it (and vice versa) until his mood changes on it's own. We may go through months of him only feeling dominant or months of him only feeling submissive. Sometimes his mood may change in the middle of sex, and we have to adjust for that. Learning how to read my partner's moods and fluctuations is difficult and CAN be mentally exhausting. I imagine for someone less fluid, it might genuinely be impossible. 

 

Like most things, there's good and bad. I love being a switch and would never want to change that about myself. 

[Rantanplan]

Many thanks for your answers. They are very interesting.

 

May I draw simple conclusion already? It obviously always requires 2 Switches. If not, let me know

 

I have given you a 'like' each for your great snswers.

[alotalittle]

May I draw simple conclusion already? It obviously always requires 2 Switches. If not, let me know

 

Personally, I don't think it always requires two switches. Some switches are more comfortable staying in one role than others are. Some switches simply have the capability of switching roles, but not necessarily a "need" to switch roles. And I think that some people switch depending on their partner (they feel submissive around one partner, but maybe dominant in the next relationship, and so on and so forth).