Being Too Sweet

[TinyTwaddle]

I've been told that "I'm too sweet". I'm not quite sure what that means because I was always taught to be kinda and polite towards others. I was also taught to respect those around me regardless of how that person is. Always be the "bigger" person. So why is it that being nice, kind, polite, and respectful seems like a one way track to getting used, abused, and becoming the target of other's use?

 

To be clear people say I'm too sweet when I talk to strangers, when I text other people, and when offer to help. But that's just my personality. I honestly have no ulterior motive other than being a good person. I just don't want to end up being a victim of other people's games anymore. Any suggestions?

[Guest Ginger]

I'm the same way, and like you said, typically end up getting used and whatnot. It's a pain but some people are just really rude and uncaring, they'll use others to get what they want. People like us tend to be easy targets because they know we'll help them out as best as we can. It just comes down to using your gut intuition and learning to tell people no.

[Guest faerybunny]

All I can say honestly is be yourself. I get that all the time. "Oh you're so nice" "oh how are you still single you're so sweet" or even "you're too sweet, too kind." Like I can't be mean, it hurts me to do it. And I honestly want what's best for others and to help make them smile! Just be yourself and surround yourself with like minded people. The right caregiver and friends are out there for you and they will appreciate you and your heart. Never stray from being kind and respectful because you think it's what someone else wants. You have to be what you want and need to be for yourself. There are people out there that will appreciate you and care for you. I'm here if you need someone to talk to.

 

Have a Hoppy Day! ^^

[Barbie Lumina]

This is something I've had my entire life and it does make you a massive walking target, it's as if the words "USE ME" are tattooed on your forehead that only other people can see. I've been used, abused and taken advantage of. I've learned my lesson about giving money to people, it took a while though... I had a partner that would just take my money without even asking because he thought I wouldn't mind, which yeah, I don't mind if it's like 1 - 20 quid, but when it's in the 100's... I get a bit upset.

 

There's nothing wrong with being sweet, kind, respectful, polite... As long as the people you surround yourself with are 100% trusted!

 

For me, it makes a DDLG relationship tricky though. Like, I'll break a rule and I'll just get away with it, hehehe xD 

[Guest Georgia-Daddy2]

Ok so I use to be the same way until I got so sick and tired of it that I stopped helping anyone but you can't just stop helping people because that's not only dickish but karma will get you just saying anyway for my friends I will move mountains to help them and occasionally I will help a person who needs it and you can generally tell when they need it like they are crying or smacking the hood of their car because they are angry and I don't help people that look homeless anymore because some people will buy torn clothes and pretend to be then their spouse will pull up in a Mercedes or a BMW that's happened to me about 12 times so I stopped ​and yes I'm 100% positive it was a spouse

[Nymph]

I think it's people's nature to try to use you, it's up to you if you let them, it's also up to the point of view who is using who and if it's in a negative light or not. For example some people may think you are using them by being nice to make yourself feel better. So as long as you are not hurting anyone including yourself (don't feel used and let anyone abuse you) I think there is no problem.

 

Like, I love when Daddy "uses" me, it's a different kind of use, not negative at all to me because we are both getting something positive out of it, does that make sense?

 

There is a big difference between being sweet, kind and polite and being a doormat though. I would describe a doormat as someone who is not able to say no, who does not value their time and effort or even themselves, someone comfortable becoming a victim. Use me once, shame on you... use me twice shame on me kind of deal.