Need help explaining the daddy part.

[nevergrowup]

Hi guys,

I need your help.

So I'm little and I told my partner a while ago and he said he was ok with it and that he was interested in this lifestyle.

Only thing now he said he doesn't wanna be my daddy/caregiver anymore.

He said he was never comfortable with it. Now he seems to be having trouble with the daddy part. He keeps saying I don't want to be your dad.

That he's not a pedophile.

 

I tries to explain to him what having a daddy/caregiver ment to me. That it isn't even a sexual thing.

I just wanna feel protected and looked after and safe.

 

Can anyone give me any advice to help him understand.

Im not looking to change his mind just let him see im not into child abuse or anything.

 

Thanks guys for reading this.

[veganlittle]

http://www.ddlginfo.com/info-for-friends--family.html

 

 

You might find this link useful. It's designed to explain what ddlg is to friends and family if they discover someone they know is in this type of relationship and want to understand it. Good luck! x

[nevergrowup]

 

Thank you

[Guest Ginger]

Perhaps this board can help you, https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/17295-general-topic-partner-not-wanting-to-be-in-a-cgl-relationship/?hl=bringing&do=findComment&comment=91207

 

Maybe try to separate the titles? That's what I did immediately after bringing it up to my fiancé.

"I'm into DDLG."
"What's that?
"It stands for Daddy Dom, Little Girl, but I'm not really into calling someone Daddy."

 

We sat down, I explained to him what it was (to me) and he said he liked how it sounded. I basically just said exactly what you say you want. Someone caring, to feel protected and safe. They were all things he did naturally, so really labeling it wasn't/isn't necessary.

 

Maybe just sit down and discuss what it is that you want out of the relationship dynamic and see about using other nicknames? You don't have to call him Daddy and if it makes him uncomfortable, maybe see if he's open to other names?

 

In the end, if he doesn't want to be your CG, he doesn't want to be your CG. Can't change it. If it's something you feel is a deal breaker, best to end the relationship and move on.
 

Edited March 28, 2017 by Ginger

[Rantanplan]

Generally speaking:

It is better to end the relationship. You won't be able to maintain it in the long run. You are still very young. 27-30 is roughly the age when people marry and have children. It does hurt. But don't make a mistake that locks you in for 20 years. There should be zero doubt about your partner. The 50% divorce rate these days is too high! And most of them had doubt from the very beginning. No child wants to grow up in a broken relationship. It is not just about you and your partner.

 

Don’t try half a Daddy. You'd rather take the pain and find the man you can marry someday.

 

You will get different answers. I'd give the older people a higher priority due to their life experience. Be careful, a 20 year old generally has a different mind set.

 

I am curious to hear multiple answers this time.

[pengudaddy]

I agree with ginger. Remove the labels. Just tell him you need a protector, someone to care for you (but not dump yout responsibilities on). To break up seems rash. If you feel like he is a caregiver (has that aptitude/personality) then support that. It sounds like he is caught up in the nomenclature and doesn't understand the childish labelling. He doesn't see you as a child and doesn't want this labelling. It's confusing to him. This misunderstanding is what creates anti-ddlg tumblrs.

 

He doesn't understand why its called ddlg. He doesn't understand the terms. Its confusing to him and some people absolutely hate confusion. Do not fight him with "but its not a pedophilic thing". WE know that but HE does not. One day he may change his mind but you cannot force him to do so.

 

Let him know you just need a "caregiver" type, and i assume he is one or you wouldn't have brought it up. You can be little without a caregiver. There are plenty here. Just don't make him someone he's not. Basic relationship 101.