Loving and Losing.

[sid-sadlilvegan]

A little over a week ago, me and my Daddy broke up. It was mutual, and for the best, but has been extremely painful. We were together 2 years. It was my longest relationship and he was the man I thought I'd marry.

 

I'm really struggling with coping, and I'd really appreciate any songs, movies, or things that helped them move on. 

 

Thank you and Namaste! 

[Guest JoeKarr]

Not sure if this is the kind of person you are, but when I went through my last break up I tried to stay away from rom coms or anything to do with romance.  I ended up watching things like Harold and Kumar go to White Castle, John Wick, the Taken flicks, Rush Hour flicks, anything that just made me laugh or was just filled with action.  That really helped a lot.  If you know an instrument or sing, I found that it was really therapeutic to run through scale drills and just play anything that made me feel happy.

[alotalittle]

You're going to be processing a lot of really big, very raw emotions for a while after a break up like this. I wish I could tell you that there's a simple way of dealing with it, but there really isn't. Every time I've experienced real heartbreak in my life, it's taken me a lot of time, patience, and re-learning how to operate my life in a way that works best for me (and this has applied to all kinds of different heartbreaks). Don't forget to be kind to yourself. You deserve it.

 

On to your question, I totally agree with Joe. Comedies are king at bringing smiles to your face. I LOVE to watch stand-up comedies when I'm feeling super down because it's hard for me to not crack a smile. Some of my favorite comedians are John Mulaney, Aziz Ansari, Jim Gaffigan, Chelsea Peretti...wow...starting to feel like I could go on forever.

 

As for music, if you really need a good, cathartic cry, I like to listen to Damien Rice (especially his album My Favorite Faded Fantasy) when I just want to sob it out. 

[tayiie]

I may not be much help tbh...

 

This happened to me as well a while ago. Me and my daddy broke up. After nearly two years together. We both agreed we needed a break. I have never loved someone as much as I loved him. I have never had such a long relationship with anyone. I believe I took it the hardest. I resented him and pushed him away every time he tried communicating with me. I was so hurt. Got rid of everything that reminded me of him. It's been a year and I'm still struggling with my feelings for him, I miss all the little things I took for granted. Never knew it had such huge impact on me.

 

To me, very little has helped me moving on. I'm still struggling. But I try to often watch Disney movies even if I cry 80% of the time during the movie. I try to accept that I don't have a daddy and that it's alright, I can manage it. It's hard but manageable, some days harder than others.

 

I recently reached out to him, and we talk as friends. Which to me almost feel vital as I don't have ANYONE to talk with that understands me. That knows when to slap me in the face when I get too anxious and someone who knows when just to listen. It feels great, but at the same time not as I still have feelings for him but I can't have him.

 

I've made many mistakes after my break up because I didn't know where to go. I hope you will find the tools to move on and be happy. If I would do this all over again I would take as much time as possible to self care. To not rush things like with a new relationship just because you feel lonely. Because you need time to heal. Time for yourself. Maybe learn from whatever the reason was that the two of you broke up or sometimes understand that maybe it had nothing to do with you or Yea, whatever the reason for the break up was.

 

Wish you the best.

[Guest whatever]

I'm sorry you're going through such a heartbreaking situation. Tough as it is now, you will move on someday when the time is right. You could go months thinking of him everyday and then one day you will wake up and you won't. And if you do ever think of him, it will hurt a little less until it is just nostalgia of what was. 

 

I tend to torture myself a bit when I am heartbroken. I watch as many romantic films as I can and listen to Adele and all the songs about unrequited love on repeat until I cry so hard that I can't breathe. This is unhealthy I know. But in a way it's also cleansing I find. There will come a day when you can listen to those songs and it won't make you think of him; it will just be a song. Don't get stuck in this phase forever. This is just the sad phase. 

Move onto happier upbeat music that makes you sing and dance and smile. Alternatively you could always listen to angry girl music too. 

I understand my methods of coping are not for everyone. But it's better to get all the hurt out before you can move on I find.

 

I wish you the best of luck with it. x