Guest Ginger Posted March 22, 2017 Report Posted March 22, 2017 I couldn't think of a really good title e,e sorry. What I mean though, does anyone's CG (or if you are one! ) swap back and forth from a straight Dominant personality to just... Daddy/Mommy mode? I noticed Master does it really quickly. Like right after a scene or just something rough, he'll immediately launch into aftercare. I know that's really important, but given the last two Doms I knew, this is really foreign to me. I was accustomed to them leaving me immediately afterwards with nothing. Master tends to cuddle, brush my hair, get me food and/or water, and turn on a movie or show. I love it, I'm just still trying to get used to it. Is this how it's supposed to be? I'm not saying I'd change this! I just feel like my first two were either fakes or just... Really bad at everything .-.
Guest QueenJellybean Posted March 22, 2017 Report Posted March 22, 2017 This is an interesting idea, and while I'm sure it exists, I've never seen a practical application in my life, mostly because my Caregiver figures were also Dominant in nature so there was no need to switch between mindsets as they were one in the same. As a Caregiver, I am both a Domme and a Caregiver to my Little, so I absolutely can relate to what your Master does. I think it's absolutely normal, and the general rule of thumb is that if it works for you and yours in your relationship, that's what matters most. <3
Guest DaddyDean Posted March 22, 2017 Report Posted March 22, 2017 Ginger, This is a great question. The dynamics of a D/s relationship regardless of the DD/lg component are difficult to begin with. Communication is KEY. Your submission is a gift and you are the one who controls who you submit too. If aftercare IS important to you then that must be communicated just like limits. That being said. A Dominant who has been around, is well versed and caring will inherently understand that aftercare is an important part of the relationship. 1
Princess-P Posted March 22, 2017 Report Posted March 22, 2017 (edited) In my opinion it sounds like your past experiences were with people who call themselves dominants but truly are not. Any partner, in any type of lifestyle, will always provide some sort of aftercare. Styles change, everyone's needs are different, but just getting up and leaving someone who is feeling vulnerable is a douchbag thing to do. Its not the trait of any Dom its the trait of an asshole. Your past "Dom's" weren't Doms because they didn't meet your needs. Im glad your current caregiver meets your needs, but remember aftercare works both ways and littles have to take care of their caregivers as well. Let him know how much you appreciate everything he does. It will make him feel good to hear it and know he's doing a great job. Edited March 22, 2017 by Princess-P 1
Guest Ginger Posted March 22, 2017 Report Posted March 22, 2017 This is an interesting idea, and while I'm sure it exists, I've never seen a practical application in my life, mostly because my Caregiver figures were also Dominant in nature so there was no need to switch between mindsets as they were one in the same. As a Caregiver, I am both a Domme and a Caregiver to my Little, so I absolutely can relate to what your Master does. I think it's absolutely normal, and the general rule of thumb is that if it works for you and yours in your relationship, that's what matters most. <3 I was really tired when I wrote this up last night, I should have waited until I had my thoughts more together ;w; I didn't mean to make it out like he's not dominant as a CG; he is. I just meant the shift from him being very demanding and such to a lot more gentle. He'll do it randomly even if we aren't done yet if I happen to make a face or a sound he doesn't like and thinks we should stop. Thank you very much for your reply! Ginger, This is a great question. The dynamics of a D/s relationship regardless of the DD/lg component are difficult to begin with. Communication is KEY. Your submission is a gift and you are the one who controls who you submit too. If aftercare IS important to you then that must be communicated just like limits. That being said. A Dominant who has been around, is well versed and caring will inherently understand that aftercare is an important part of the relationship. I have told him and he knows It was my two ex's that didn't. Thank you ^^ In my opinion it sounds like your past experiences were with people who call themselves dominants but truly are not. Any partner, in any type of lifestyle, will always provide some sort of aftercare. Styles change, everyone's needs are different, but just getting up and leaving someone who is feeling vulnerable is a douchbag thing to do. Its not the trait of any Dom its the trait of an asshole. Your past "Dom's" weren't Doms because they didn't meet your needs. Im glad your current caregiver meets your needs, but remember aftercare works both ways and littles have to take care of their caregivers as well. Let him know how much you appreciate everything he does. It will make him feel good to hear it and know he's doing a great job. We do, I usually do try to get him stuff or do something for him but he insists I stay where I'm at. Usually after a little while I can get up without him poking at me to lay back down and relax. Cooking him something, massage, turning on his video games, stuff like that. I do let him know he's appreciated and everything, no worries ^-^ And yeah, I feel a bit stupid to have let those two in and whatnot, but you learn from past mistakes, right? ^^' Not saying there will be someone else in the future, but at least I can spot the problems now better.
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now